More happy with my lot since the start of Coronavirus!

We are some of the lucky ones. DH and I have been quite self-contained for some time, with both DC living abroad and no commitments but sufficient incomes.We've quite enjoyed the peace and opportunity to enjoy our environment. However, I learned to appreciate the difficulties after an elderly relative was taken into hospital last week. His one remaining sibling can't visit as she is in her 80's with a husband with multiple problems and she is beside herself at the thought that she may never see him again.. The sole visitor he has been allowed is a cousin who feels she can now not see her own parents or grandchild because her DiL is at risk with type 1 diabetes. And yet there are thousands (millions??) out there breathing all over others without a care in the world.

We're alive that's what matters. Who cares about the politics, lack of money etc. In a few weeks we will all be back in the rat race. I will be working, worrying about money etc . At the minute its like being in convalescence , resting after a bad time, so I just relax for the next few weeks.

My heart goes out to everyone who has had problems through lockdown and hope that the future will be more positive for themselves,and their families.
My daughter has coped with the grandchildren both under 5 alone plus all the unpleasant moments from ex husband who walked out on them 2 years ago. She has managed to do some online teaching and keeping financially afloat. My other daughter had the virus in March and thankfully recovered after a scary few weeks. She is now furloughed but business looks as though it won't be reopening. She is trying to stay positive but have had some tearful phone calls from her.
I was due to have a MRI in march for ongoing
neurological problems but was cancelled and unsure when will be rescheduled. My right foot is going numb and feeling anxious as to what this could be.

I have completed a lot continuous professional development, all completed online. I have got rid of a lot of books. Sorted out my clothes. Sent in my written application for accreditation. Taken on more online work. I did a bit of gardening. Caught up on paperwork. Caught up on ironing. Sorted out my study. I miss my kids, but I’m talking to them on the webcam and my granddaughter. My husband is working from home. He has been mowing the lawn and getting the patio dug up and replaced. So all in all I’ve done more during this time than I have in a long time. I’m really happy with my lot. I’d say if I could live on an island with plenty of money, that’d suit me fine.

Are you for real ?

gillybob I don't think any of us escaped from the trauma caused by this pandemic .. it's no one's fault, I expect that's debatable but we are in it like it or not ... I'm not sure if smug Houndi or the ilk is legit hopefully not ... You just hang on in there matey we are slowly getting back to normality .. seriously hoping you can weather the storm xxx

We're retired and have no financial worries but our kids will have soon. We haven't seen two of our kid for nearly a year now & the last time we saw our other kid and our grand kids was nearly 5 months ago. We miss them a lot. We miss our friends, occasional parties, our groups, our little breaks, ... Hearing the news about what's going on with millions of others because of Covid 19 and what future holds for them are a source sadness for us. Not being able to get treatment for eyes, teeth, tests for potential health problems of all sorts, ... for all of us is a major worry for us too. Mental health issues, ... Can't be happy right now. The quality of life is just not there. It would have been somewhat better if we had a committed and competent leadership.

I keep trying to look at the overall picture. That, hopefully, it’s been a wake up call and everyone won’t all rush out and shop, shop, shop when restrictions are lifted. That litter won’t be dropped, wars won’t be restarted, more people will work from home, that we’ll all value the planet more, world leaders will learn common sense, and we’ll have the new normal the government keep spouting on about. But I fear that won’t be.

This virus has brought together and divided at the same time. I’ve met neighbours, I’d not met before as they walk past the house for their daily exercise and the local shops and volunteers have gone above and beyond what they needed to do to help out and make sure everyone is ok.

But so many are struggling to keep things together, and so many businesses will fail and so many are loosing their jobs and worrying about where the next penny is coming from. Parents are worried about children missing education, trying to home school while working a full time job from home. Worried about whether their jobs will survive.

And people like me sit in the sun in our paid-for gilded cages and get really, really frustrated because they’re trapped and useless and not able to help.

I was very happy with my lot before the virus, now I’m frustrated, but I keep trying to look at the big picture and hope that the world will, overall, eventually, benefit and all will be good.

Just picked up this thread. Yours was the most important posting on it, gillybob. And 25Avalon the next.And Jimbowl5 made some very important points.

If every one of us was brave enough to reach out to a person we know is undergoing hardship or suffering at this time, it might well not change the world - but what you do or say might prevent a bit of stress and put a smile on someone's face. And your own.

I agree jimbow15 and I think it is sad that people apologise for expressing their views . We are all different and we deal with this crisis in different ways none of which are wrong because we all have different ways of dealing with it. I expect for people who are comfortable it's difficult to understand people's suffering more tolerance and understanding is needed

In a world which had become more self-centered the Lockdown has focused us on what is important in daily living.
I feel deeply sorry for those families who have lost family members to the Coronavirus. Those who have lost a home and business and their sole source of income.
I am a religious person and therefore see life from that perspective. Life is short and we need to make the best of what we have.
I have lived abroad and seen extreme poverty, starvation and death because of lack of the very basics of life.
I don't want to compare our current Lockdown with world poverty. We are lucky that we have services like the NHS and Social Services.
I know I will get some negative comments. We are all in this together and I have experienced the best in people as a very vulnerable person.
And for that I am extremely grateful.
I am also more content in myself during isolation.

Oh no , not sure where my previous message went but gilly I think you have an impossible task .. none of us escaped the virus and it's implications ... but like the rest of us against all odds we just fight.. my husband is horribly disabled. I have not been able to get any support. Human resilience against all odds is a virtue. No one wanted covid how we deal with it is up to us ..but I'm not sure this government is giving enough support to people like you

At the VE Day commemorations me and my friend discovered that 2 of our neighbours were suffering mentally with 'shielding'
We decided to meet in my garden every week. They are so much happier.
It appears that they were/are shielding purely because they are 85. Nothing wrong with either of them. Up until the lockdown they were both out every day come rain or shine.

Please get hold of Citizens advice if you can or havent already..on all the problems besetting you and yr family..praying you can all be helped..Pehaps get tough with GP surgery re scans referrals etc..

My life is different in that my DD used to come round regularly, the kids used to sleep here often and spend weekends here, and I went to 3 or 4 meetings of U3A a month. Apart from that, to be honest, my life is not hugely different. Neither DH nor I are very social people, so we're not missing a huge crowd of pals, and we have a pretty simple lifestyle. If anything is going to be different when this is over, it will be that I am going to try to get out more.

But I probably won't. It is a bit like a New Year's resolution, and I have never been able to keep them.

gillybob your list sounds horrendous it must be a very stressful time for you and your family. I'm not saying there hasn't been difficulties for me in dealing with a severely disabled husband and lock down but I just feel grateful for what I have and the fact that this will end soon, if all the stats. are correct, helps. I don't think any of us will have managed to deal with this situation without some form of trauma. You have a great deal to cope with, though, I sincerely hope you and other people in a similar situation find the first stages of the 'lock down easing', means that you can begin to move tentatively back to normality. That would be wonderful.

jennilin I too hope the world will have changed a little bit for the better when we come out of all of this. I have only seen what has happened in my village since its not been possible to go elsewhere, and it was amazing. Over 100 people volunteered to help the shielding population, people were kind and considerate, nearly everyone obeyed the lock-down for the common good. We learnt to value the smaller things in life and we were all in it together. However I do feel now that we need to move on. Real harm is being done to some people through isolation, people are losing their jobs and livelihoods, children and teenagers are lacking in vital social contacts, the economy has taken a massive hit. We have to try to get back to some sort of normal and hope the positive lessons learnt will stick just a little bit.

Do seem a bit more content with my lot. Think I have recognised even more just how much we are influenced by corporate advertising of all the things we "need and must do". One particular habit I gave changed is using face cleaners. With the info on how soap removes the Covid-19 from our hands I thought well why can it not remove bacteria from my face along with makeup. Had used hot cloth system up until now. My skin hasn't looked so clear for years and after rinsing off soap no traces of makeup on cloth when I wipe dry. What else can I do without is an ongoing search.

Although we are all missing many things in our lives I think many of us are grateful for what we do still have. I know I am lucky in that I am being paid to 'work from home' but not being asked to do very much at all, and although I miss seeing colleagues, I am grateful that the school, where I'm a learning support assistant, have not required me to be on the rota to go in as I'm vulnerable.

I don't usually see my AC often as they live a long way away, but obviously I've missed the visits I had planned. I've enjoyed regular Facetime calls with my daughter but struggled with the day she sobbed down the phone as I couldn't do anything to help. Fortunately her distress was short lived - a second car breakdown in a week - but horrible not being able to help her, not that I would ever be able to help as she lives 400 miles away, but normally she'd have taken it in her stride!

I'm grateful for the kind neighbours who helped with shopping when I had to isolate and I'm grateful for regular visits from our vicar at a safe distance.

I'm also aware that many are suffering terribly. I'm trying to support the local charities who are doing what they can to help, particularly the foodbank. Many of us are spending less because we can't go out for meals or to the theatre etc so we have cash to spare to support those less fortunate.

I can't imagine what it is like for some of them but I feel for those who are losing everything and I know I am one of the lucky ones. I also miss the voluntary work I usually do with the homeless, and hope that the help they are being given is enough. The government have promised extra funding but I suspect many vulnerable people will be back on the streets before the promised accomodation can be built.

gillybob your post gives some perspective of what many are going through. I hope things improve for you soon and that you and your family get the support you need.

Grammaretto can she access your garden through a side gate or would she have to come through the house? If she can bring her own chair, or you could leave one in part of the garden for her use at a distance from yours, bring her own drink etc then I think it would be fine.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I have just heard of a friend and neighbour who is alone and unwell and on medication after cancer . She can't go into her communal garden because the people next door have 4 small children and a dog who have the run of it all day long.
I have invited her to sit in ours but we are shielding too so I'm not sure I should.
I am sorry about your situation Gilly and hope hard it will improve.
Nothing lasts forever.

Gillybob some of us are very fortunate with our lot but some of us aren’t. I would hope that those of us who are more fortunate not only appreciate that but also think of others where there is going to be a lot of hardship. It may be that those better off should help those that aren’t if we are going to continue being a caring compassionate society which a lot of people have demonstrated we are to the extent ofputting their lives on the line.

It is the death toll that is so horrific in all of this, but I do understand where you are coming from I feel the same. I was working part time so on furlough at the moment. This time has gone so quick but seems ages ago it all started. I do and don't want to go back to work, miss my colleagues there but am quite happy at home too!

gillybob as our neighbour said 'We are the lucky ones. We have a pension, probably no mortgage and we have a garden. There are millions out there who are desperately trying to hold everything together'.
I agree with him.
There are so many who have lost their jobs, stuck with children in a flat, are lonely, lost their businesses, working on the front line and worrying about bringing the virus home.
Not to mention those who have lost loved ones.

I hope things improve for you soon.


jennilin I do see your point of view too. Although we haven't seen family and I don't think we will see some of them for at least a year if not more, we do have blessings to count and we do have the internet so can keep in touch instantly.