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(171 Posts)
Baggs Wed 05-Aug-20 11:32:28

Is it polite to have your cleavage on display at a funeral?

paddyanne Wed 19-Aug-20 16:07:22

if strappy shoes are a problem then I'm in trouble I only have high heels and most have straps .My friend 's 25 year old died after falling in a river.She requested his friends came in their party clothes and everyone else wear something bright .Some could only cope with a bright scarf but at least they tried. Clothes ,low cut,tight or brightly coloured and mourning someone are not incompatable

V3ra Wed 19-Aug-20 14:19:56

Singl9 if it was the relative's own mother's funeral I can't see it's for anyone else to judge.

Neither my sister nor I wanted to wear black for our Mum's funeral. We decided that as the daughters of the deceased it was up to us to make that decision.

We didn't wear white though, or strappy sandals, but what we felt comfortable in.
And neither of us has a cleavage to flaunt even if we were that way inclined, which we're not!

jenpax Wed 19-Aug-20 13:54:01

A step relative of my late mother turned up at her father-in-law’s funeral in a red sexy dress! This was intended to be rude as she felt her in laws had helped her ex husband conceal his affair!

MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 13:36:27

Are we talking women? If not then NO and are we talking chest cleavage? again if not then definitely NO hahahaha!! grin

Sing19 Wed 12-Aug-20 07:08:59

A relative wore a white dress with blue and red flowers and red strappy sandals to her very elderly mother's funeral. I wondered if the DM had liked her in it, but no, it was purchased especially for the occasion.

Whilst she looked very nice in it, it would have been more appropriate as a wedding dress or for a formal garden party.

It did get her noticed, which I suspect was the plan ?

Grandmafrench Mon 10-Aug-20 18:39:38

lemongrove spangler. I so agree. Some years ago I grew so tired of seeing women and girls' bare middles, especially the very pregnant ones. Bored with it, I hoped that clothes which covered more would come back into fashion. Since then, and much worse, we are regularly treated to nothing more than bits of dental floss which pass as beach wear and endless, endless, huge, in-your-face, false boobage which either can look totally out of proportion, very ageing and matronly - or even comical. Bring back the days when all the goods don't have to be in the shop window at once!! As for funerals - or even weddings for that matter - how about wearing something pretty, smart, subtle, appropriate even. Something which doesn't shout "look at me", something which doesn't involve dressing up body parts which often would look so much better covered up. Just for a change, show some respect!

MissAdventure Mon 10-Aug-20 18:21:17

All of it, or just parts? smile

Spangler Mon 10-Aug-20 14:21:36

"lemongrove Sat 08-Aug-20 12:13:06"

"Tbh I don’t think any man ( apart from the vicar/priest/ celebrant maybe?) wouldn’t enjoy seeing cleavage ....but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to do it at a funeral.Apart from anything else it screams ‘look at me!’"

That is so true, Lemongrove.

Glorybee Mon 10-Aug-20 11:24:46

Bbbface

I wonder if Jesus Christ would have had a problem with a guest attending a funeral displaying cleavage

I suspect not

I suspect his attention would be more focussed on the gransnetter judging her

Although he’d be aware of all that was going on at the funeral as he’s omniscient, his focus would most likely be on the heartbroken.

Anne107 Mon 10-Aug-20 09:26:57

Lol would really depend! I personally feel it is disrespectful but that’s me.

Rosalyn69 Sat 08-Aug-20 14:27:35

I’m not sure it matters. It’s not going to offend the deceased.

lemongrove Sat 08-Aug-20 12:13:06

We will never know Bbb but women attending funerals in Palestine two thousand years ago would be covered up.
Tbh I don’t think any man ( apart from the vicar/priest/ celebrant maybe?) wouldn’t enjoy seeing cleavage ....but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to do it at a funeral.Apart from anything else it screams ‘look at me!’

Bbbface Sat 08-Aug-20 11:12:55

I wonder if Jesus Christ would have had a problem with a guest attending a funeral displaying cleavage

I suspect not

I suspect his attention would be more focussed on the gransnetter judging her

Alexa Sat 08-Aug-20 10:21:04

Mill Adventure: "over the top" [smile[ smile smile

grannylyn65 Sat 08-Aug-20 04:22:25

Why you even asking

moonbeames Sat 08-Aug-20 03:17:56

No.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 07-Aug-20 20:14:16

Totally agree MissAdventure the days when everyone had a funeral outfit sitting in their wardrobe ready and waiting are long gone.

MissAdventure Fri 07-Aug-20 19:55:47

Ah, I don't think it matters that much.
Even if someone is over the top (in more ways than one) they've still gone to the effort of going to pay their respects, dressed in what, for them, is smart attire.

Juneandarchie1 Fri 07-Aug-20 18:44:13

Personally I find cleavage and light coloured clothes at a funeral disrespectful. Your are there to mourn that person. A celebration of life comes after a funeral

Alexa Fri 07-Aug-20 11:15:42

Some newly bereaved are more traditional about rituals such as funerals.

Did anyone watch 'What We Did in the Holidays" last night on television BBC4?

NannyG123 Fri 07-Aug-20 10:48:25

I went to a friend's funeral as a woman was wearing jeans with holes, and a t shirt. And trainers.When I first saw her I thought she was someone who worked in the grounds. But I have worn a blue blouse to a funeral once as he was a Chelsea supporter, and his wife asked to wear something blue.

Spangler Fri 07-Aug-20 07:32:40

Baggs

In fact, how can you judge a person you don't even know? You can't. But you can judge their style of attire.

Chances are my attire is often judged. You don't see that many sports jackets, collar & tie, trousers with turn ups and two tone shoes.

I'm probably on social media under the heading: What a Plonker!"

There is one type of appearance that I loathe, not that it harms me, it just looks so slovenly, and that's when you see someone in the supermarket in their pyjamas and slippers.

Marydoll Fri 07-Aug-20 07:25:46

I'm not bothered what people wear to funerals, as I feel just by turning up, they are showing respect for the deceased and their family.
However, on trying to listen to PC Harper's widow's statement, I was distracted by the cleavage on show and I'm sure, I wasn't the only one. It is not a crticism of the family, just an observation, as I'm sure they had more important matters on their mind.

JonesKpj000 Fri 07-Aug-20 00:44:45

I personally never notice what mourners are wearing at funerals, it's more important surely to be there for the family regardless of what you are wearing. Not everyone has something suitable to wear and may not have the spare cash to go out and buy something new for the occasion. By turning up for the funeral they are paying their respects to the deceased and their loved ones. Having said that, I always prefer to wear black myself and am well covered up. As it was later mentioned, the poster was also referring to the scenes of the widow of the murdered PC outside of the courts during the trial. I'm sure, as we all are, that she would of been too distressed to care what her family and friends were wearing, Instead, she would have been grateful for their support. It was heart breaking to hear her testimony about losing the man she loved and taken from her in such a cruel way. Let's all remember her and his mother and the grief they must be going through and the sacrifice this young man made in the line of duty.

Neva2bananna Fri 07-Aug-20 00:17:09

Really I think I’d be too immersed in the emotion of the event to be watching the heaving bosoms or otherwise that were also attending.
If it were my own funeral I wouldn’t care what anyone wore as long as they were comfortable, relaxed and prepared not to mourn but to truly ‘celebrate the life..........’ with memories and enjoyment.
If by chance a romance began at the event between two of my ‘mourners’ however inappropriately dressed - I hope that I would be able to see it and smile!