What happened to simple kindness?

What an awful experience Lucky, I am so sorry.

I would write to the Practice Manager and explain what happened- not for the woman to be sacked, but for her to be made aware of the effect she had on you, and probably many others.

I don't know my mobile number by heart either, and I often (most of the time) do not have it with me either. No wonder you were upset hugs

On the other hand, and this is NOT excusing her- being a doctor's receptionist is a thankless task. We do not know what had happened to her that day, she might have been abused and shouted/sworn at all day- as I know for a fact it happens that way round too.

But the Practice Manager will hopefully deal with this, and make her see the error of her ways. Maybe very grateful for your letter that will give her/him the chance to give her an official warning (as probably aware there is a problem there, but needed the evidence).

xxx

rafichagran, sorry if you think my post was snobbish and patronising. I can see how that would come across, but can assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. I have working class roots. In fact, my mum was a receptionist in many different places, most of her working life. I can’t imagine her ever talking to someone like this, even on a bad day. I get tired of bad behaviour being excused/ explained away. I also don’t like seeing people, especially vulnerable ones, being put down. There was a school secretary in my kids primary school, who was the most vicious person you could ever meet. She undermined everyone, including the Head. Was she simply having a bad day? If she was, then it was every day for ten years! I would be like you, and give as good as I get, normally. However, if I was recently widowed, I may not. I would bet that Luckygirl, wasn’t the first patient this woman has been rude to, and won’t be the last, no matter how much ‘ re training’ she has. It’s most likely just her. Hopefully one day, she’ll meet someone like her, perhaps that’ll change her.

welbeck

on my mobile i have entered my own number without a name and it comes up first in the list of contacts.
which makes it easier to find and show someone who needs it.
if your phone demands a name in order to save a contact, try entering the number in the name field as well as the number field.
sorry you came up against that sort of person. they are a minority, but little things make a big difference.
really their supervisors should be arranging for more training and bringing it up in appraisals.
also i think when selecting staff in heath settings more thought should be given to this aspect.

This is such a good idea welbeck! I also have difficulty remembering my number and have now done exactly this. I think some younger people don't realise how older people's phones are not necessarily the way we organise ourselves. My daughter got very worried and angry when she couldn't contact me by mobile (justifiably as I had taken my granddaughter out for an adventure!). My phone had run out of charge, I didn't have a charger, trains had been cancelled and I couldn't find out how to get back. She couldn't understand how I could possibly have gone out without a charger.
That sounds like a horrible experience Luckygirl. I hope that this member of staff was only rude under extreme stress and not like that all the time.

Should everyone be sacked who has a bad day at work?

Of course not, but perhaps some more training or support is required.
The receptionist should leave personal problems behind when he or she arrives at work in a patient-facing role. Her/his own problems should in no way impact on the way she or he does the job and on the patients.

Chewbacca sensible post.

geekesse

Most people in most jobs have times when they ‘should be more professional’. This is a horrible, stressful time for everyone. Should everyone be sacked who has a bad day at work?

No geekesse, they shouldn't be sacked. But they should be made aware that their attitude is neither acceptable nor professional and shouldn't happen again. If they are having personal difficulties, that are impacting their ability to perform their role properly, they need to get support from their line manager so that their own personal problems aren't projected onto patients who have come to them for help. That's why PALS needs to know about this incident; they can offer support to the receptionist if she's struggling and therefore perform her job more professionally.

geekesse

Most people in most jobs have times when they ‘should be more professional’. This is a horrible, stressful time for everyone. Should everyone be sacked who has a bad day at work?

I worked alongside receptionists that were unpleasant to patients. I was pleased when patients made official complaints because their unprofessional attitude made it difficult for the rest of us to work alongside them. However, we must all remember to thank people that do a good job as well.

I`m sorry you had such an awfull experiance Luckygirl,but i would honestly have given her a mouthfull no holds barred.
I suggest you write a letter of complaint to the relevens sources and tell them exactly how you were treated.
Honestly,if that was me on reception i would have to hold back my tears on hearing the news about you`r dh.
There are some horrible people out there but thank goodness they are few and far between.
Hope your results come back fine Luckygirl.

Most people in most jobs have times when they ‘should be more professional’. This is a horrible, stressful time for everyone. Should everyone be sacked who has a bad day at work?

Sorry, but she should be more professional than that, geekesse, especially if working in a hospital clinic.

May I just invite you to consider (with kindness?) the receptionist? There’s a consensus here that she was cruel, and from the OP’s account, that’s how it looks. But has anyone considered any of the following:
- She may have been forced to work in a patient-facing position in a hospital when she had a vulnerable Mum / child / spouse at home and she was permanently worried about taking the virus home.
- She may have spent a couple of hours before coming into work dealing with home-schooling kids who were being difficult.
- She may have been worrying about a family member or friend who was seriously ill with Covid.
- She may have just come back to work after the death of a loved one.
- She may have been at work on her day off because the hospital was short-staffed because of Covid.

People don’t generally set out to be unkind, but sometimes their own stress, grief or fear leads them to miss cues that extra kindness may be necessary. I worry that if we start to think “I’m entitled to kindness from others because of my circumstances” we may fail to think kindly of others.

This is so wrong. Front of house is a very important role and it sounds as though she is in the wrong job! I would definitely speak to someone or even write in to the personnel manager. I would be very surprised if complaints about her haven’t been received already. It is not acceptable.

I am so sorry you had to go through that kind of behaviour, how rude is she, unbelievable! I’d certainly report her to pals Luckygirl, and I hope you are ok now

I feel for Lucky and feel she should report the incident. Please do not refer to people doing lesser jobs Disco, everyone's job is important and the hospital cannot function without them. That comment makes you sound as bad as the receptionist, it is snobbish and patronising.
I have had trouble with receptionists myself being rude, I just ask them to not take that tone with me. It has worked in most cases. I do not wish they would lose there jobs though.

I worked as a ward clerk for the NHS for many years. Sounds like she could do with attending one of the NHS courses on dealing with the public. Calmness, patience and a smile can help most situations, I always found. Even when faced with an abusive person those 3 things worked. In your shoes I would write to the hospital. I know the NHS is under pressure but kindness costs nothing.

What an awful experience Luckygirl. You have been through so much recently, you don't need this kind of attitude.

I’m more worried about how nasty this woman was to Luckygirl. There are so many people out there struggling with jobs and money at the moment. It’s those I have compassion for.

It's quite nasty to hope someone will lose their job disco.
A report leading to retraining and an improved attitude would be a good outcome.

Have you told your daughters? I’d have been livid if someone had spoken to my mum like that. I’ve noticed over the last few years....that people in the lesser roles shall we say, so mainly receptionists, seem to take on the authority of their employer, and not in a nice way. I’ve seen it in schools, hospitals, hotels, etc. I don’t know who they think they are a lot of the time. I agree with posters who say to report this nasty woman. Hopefully she’ll lose her job and someone more deserving will get it.?

It's not as bad as your experience, Luckygirl, but I was once asked at the gynaecologist'when my last period was, although I had had a hysterectomy a couple of years previously. It could easily have been upsetting for another patient.

I think I even suggested that they put a coloured sticker on the outside of the file so that they didn't ask the wrong people the wrong questions.

It sounds like receptionists all need better training.

How horrible for you. In these strange times we need people to be aware of all the stresses and worries we're going through. That person was insensitive and probably not suited to her job. I had to attend two hospital appointments over the last six months and what a contrast between two people. One was lovely and the other really perfunctory - no reassuring 'bedside manner' at all. It leaves a nasty taste doesn't it? Hope you're feeling better OP.

I have mine written on a sticky label on the back of the phone. I also have a little star stuck on near the charger hole so that I don't pick the phone up the wrong way and decline a call by mistake. Probably not a good idea regarding security but saves a lot of grief!

Absolutely report this to the PALS team at your hospital. I have just retired from a 3 year spell of working at our hospital in an admin role that was non clinical and not 'patient facing'
Every one had to do an induction course of several hours, which included how to be sensitive to visitors to the hospital who may be distressed ( for whatever reason)
I am horrified that you were treated in this way. Breast Care clinic is an ordeal enough without this odious person on reception.
I hope you are ok.

I don’t think some medical receptionists realise how important their role is. They are the first port of call for people who are already anxious about needing to see a doctor. My surgery has two receptionists and one of them is extremely rude. When I have to phone the surgery I feel my blood pressure shooting up as I make the call, in case she answers the phone.
Luckygirl?

My DIL had a similar experience last year before pandemic. She was really upset after walking out of the clinic and back to the car. She told me one member of staff was very rude and impatient and insensitive with her. This wasn’t the first time this had happened but she said nothing the last time.

I was very annoyed about this my DIL had given birth to very premature twins who where fighting for life in special care.
I went into the clinic straight away and spoke to the surgery manager and the member of staff who upset my DIL. I was assured it would not happen again.

There is a code of practice in place unfortunately not all staff comply. Surgeries have signs up informing the public their staff will not tolerate abuse. The public don’t have put up with it either it works both ways. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

That was a real rubbish thing to happen to you Lucky. Take comfort from the fact that there are far more kind people out there than the alternative. Trouble is the nasties attract more attention to themselves by their awfulness. We see it on here sometimes. I've been experiencing acts of kindness from neighbours, ex colleagues, family and friends in general so there's plenty of it out there. Hope the memory has subsided for you a bit now. ??