Is the grass always greener?

When we came we knew we would not be able to afford to change our minds and go back. We didn’t visit our parents or the UK for ten long years which was hard and I couldn’t believe the lovely green fields when we did visit. We had 4 children by the time we could afford to visit but after a couple of weeks I got incredibly homesick for Australia because it was a very different way of life then. Not so much now.

Aussiegran - such a lovely post ! I have friends who went to Australia years ago, around the same time I came here to England/Wales. Except for the damp, rainy weather, I love it here - the people are the best part of it. So friendly, pop-in for coffee at any time. No appointments needed between friends. Take me as I am, sort of attitude.
The UK has history and that is what attracts tourists. And keeps the coffers topped up.

I think a lot of British people of our age ,lived their childhood with parents who had travelled the world whilst in the forces during WW2 a lot came back with itchy feet. My father was always talking about emigrating and quoting people who had. Maybe it was the product of the uncertain life they had led during that time.
Most of my reli's in Australia were £5 pound poms. My parents visited quite a few times but in the end, never emigrated.
Britain today is an unsettled country again and I think this is where the idea comes from. We mainly hear of the ones who stay but I do know ones who came on holiday and never went back.

I've got friends in Australia who love it there, although they tell me it's not perfect. When I visited I found the people so friendly and open.
However, my heart is in this lovely part of Devon not that far from where I was born , and I couldn't live anywhere else.
I'm so lucky to live in this beautiful place.

I have written about this on another thread, but will reiterate here. My daughter and her family moved to New Zealand some eighteen months ago. Her husband had wanted her to relocate ever since they married but she always refused. Anyway they are both doctors and worked very long hours throughout Covid, whilst simultaneously being told by the media/patients that GPs were seeing no patients and hiding behind locked surgery doors. So she finally agreed to go to New Zealand where GPs work 9-5 for four days a week and get the same pay as the very long hours earned in England. We have just returned from a two months visit (we stayed in rentals) where we helped our daughter pack up and move house because her marriage has broken down, and then we did the childcare during the long summer holidays whilst she worked.

So, what are the advantages? She works fewer hours for the same pay.

The disadvantages in my opinion; firstly that she is so far away from her family and it is an extremely long and expensive journey in order to see them. Then the the expense as food is at least one and a half times as expensive as England, everything else, all goods and services are far more expensive, there is far less choice available in the supermarkets, everyone seems to drive rather old cars, including her, many NZ citizens cannot afford to travel abroad, or buy decent cars or houses. Services are slow, so if there is a problem people shrug their shoulders and say ‘it’s New Zealand.’ You would be surprised how many times we heard that. For example, although my daughter signed and started paying for an internet connection immediately on taking her new house in December, it’s only just been connected last week, despite numerous calls and emails. Additionally everyone pays to see a GP (perhaps that’s why she can work fewer hours) and the cost ranges from about £25 up to about £80 or more. If a person needs surgery they can only be put on the waiting list if it is open. Frequently waiting lists are simply closed, no chance of treatment unless you pay. GPs cannot prescribe the best drug for the patient unless the patient can afford to pay the full cost of the drug because the drugs available via the state system are limited to the cheapest. Patients pay for all their drugs unless they are fourteen years old or under.
The outdoor life style? What? My daughter runs, she ran in England and she runs in New Zealand. Her children take part in a lot of sports, they did in England too. We managed a total of two barbecues whilst we were there.
The education system is apparently poor and so my grandchildren attend an English style independent school. There are apparently nine universities in New Zealand but I’m told they are not of the same standard as English or American universities. I don’t know whether they are or not, but that’s what I’m told.
In New Zealand people go to work, go to the supermarket, wash the car, do the garden just the same as they do in England or elsewhere. No, the grass is not greener, but it seems to be something of a fashion for people to imagine that it is. My daughter wondered if we’d like to go to live in New Zealand. Absolutely not, I love living here in England. I’ll stick to visiting them.

A friend of mine who moved to the south coast from Birmingham has some very strange ideas about Birmingham. She had told me that she feels sorry for us being 'stuck here'. She wonders if we are afraid living here with 'all those immigrants.' Such nonsense. She also asked me if I could get her some Asian jewellery from 'one of those stalls or markets.' I hadn't a clue what she was talking about.

We've been to Australia once to see our son and daughter-in-law who live in the Northern Beaches area of Sydney.

We had a wonderful holiday, seeing the sights, experiencing the lovely weather (January), just doing things we wouldn't be able to do at home.

However, I realised that was all it was - a fantastic holiday - it is far too expensive a place for us to be able to live there. We wouldn't be able to afford healthcare nor anywhere nice to live.

I wish my son didn't live so far away, but we are planning to go back there this June to see our first grandson and are sure to have yet another wonderful holiday.

Kate1949

I think most places we go on holiday, particularly places like fabulous Venice and hundreds of places at home and abroad we think 'Oh how lovely to live here'. We are realistic enough to realise that it's not always as it seems.
We are in Birmingham, which is not everyone's idea of paradise! I love it with all its faults. I wouldn't live anywhere else.

Another West Midlander here and we wouldn't be anywhere else.

It's so easy to get to most places in England and Wales; Scotland and NI are do-able but more of a stretch of course.

We're on the western edge of the conurbation with borders with Shropshire, North Worcestershire and South Staffs. The Cotswolds and the Peak District are an hour or so's drive.

As a forces child, I lived in Yorkshire, Hampshire and with BAOR in Western Germany. All lovely places in their own way, but I always longed to come 'back home' to the Black Country.

I suppose it depends on whether you are a born Australian or have emigrated. All my cousins went to live in Australia and seem to have good lives apart from the one where the fires of a couple of years ago came close to where they live. That was scary. They have always asked me to go out there for a holiday but the long flight puts me off and I tend to like to wander around castles, old churches and museums so really are an English country girl from Gloucestershire. I love the English country village way of life and the changing seasons.

My DD went on a 3 week netball trip to Australia with the school when she was 15. When she came home she said that sitting on the coach on the return trip from the airport to home on the way back she realised just how much she had missed the green, and above all else the historic buildings: the churches and barns and manor houses that flashed past the window. I thought it was an interesting observation from a teenager.

Sounds like your family may well return here maddyone as they will surely realise the disadvantages about NZ given time.

Yes indeed Blinko. We are in easy
reach of lots of lovely places.

That was insightful Luckygirl. I believe if you walk cheerfully through the world you can find happiness anywhere, meet the most interesting people whether it's on a windswept hilltop, a bus stop or admiring flowers in the park. that's my favourite

My story is complicated. I was born in England but taken to NZ as a baby by my DP who were embarking on a happy life away from war-torn London. My DF was. 3rd generation NZer so he was going home
Sadly he died when I was a child so DM sold up and moved back to London where I spent the next 10 years apart from a couple of years in Birmingham (yes I loved it) and boarding school in York also loved it)
I met my Scottish DH in England and we lived there for a few years before we moved to Scotland where I have lived ever since
Together we went to NZ several times to see our DS and his family and catch up with cousins
I think NZ, at least the cities are far more cosmopolitan than they were in the 1950s but even then, Wellington had a thriving art world and beatnik coffee shops. My DM missed the culture of Britain and when DS chose to move there she could not understand it!

Another thing is, like the UK, where you actually live within a country differs. Australia is huge and there are parts where I would never dream of living. The temperatures vary from tropical up in the north to quite cool down in Tasmania. Every state has a different ‘feel’ and people travel much larger distances without thinking anything of it. When they turn 18, most kids get a car because you really have to - the public transport when you get out of the cities isn’t there.

DD, married to an Australian, has lived over there for the last 21 years, happened to mention one day that she tries to watch ‘Midsomer Murders’ - “Just to see the English countryside”.

I could have cried.

My widowed cousin moved to Sydney with her 3 young children many years ago as she had dual nationality. she married an American with several children, Now all her adult children live in the UK because they prefer the culture here.. she is always torn about returning and all her blood grandchildren are in the UK but she also feels responsibilities to her blended family.and husband... impossible decision really

I have never lived more than 20 miles from where I was born.Have never wanted to .I have friends all over the world some I grew up with some I met while on holiday and I wouldn't swap places with them for all the gold in the world.Maddyone like your daughter we dont have a new car,we've only bought one new car in our lives ,not because we cant afford it its just not important to us.Maybe your daughter feels the same .
THINGS really dont matter when you're living a happy life.Be grateful your family is happy and dont hope it goes sour for them just because its not your idea of how their life should be

We moved to France when we retired. Not such a big change as Australia or New Zealand apart from the language. The weather in SW France is similar to that in UK but more so. Hotter in the summer and colder in the winter. We had to adapt to a different lifestyle, shops closed over lunchtime ( not so much now) 2 hour lunches. No take aways, etc. A much less stressful life though, very little traffic in our area, no keeping up with Jones's, very friendly people always someone to help in the village if needed. Health care is good but we do pay health insurance for hospitalisation. Not the life for everyone but we like it.

Food for thought, AussieGran

It's swings and roundabouts.

We've visited Australia regularly for many years but we know not to come at Christmas, more's the pity. It is stinking hot and very humid in Queensland and there's the risk of cyclones. Everything gets damp and there is a constant fight against mould.
Then again, winter weather is absolutely lovely and, if you like an outdoor life, there's more opportunity for that.
Wide open spaces, a smaller population means traffic jams are a rarity outside the cities, travel by road is more of a pleasure. It's become unnerving here, wuth so much traffic.

Most Australians I know work extremely hard, it's no easier a life than in the UK. House prices have surged over there too, as has food, just like the UK.

I think if you emigrate and leave family behind, you're always torn.

And then there are the Sunday roasts and fish and chips?
Not unheard of in Australia 😀

the public transport when you get out of the cities isn’t there.

It's pretty rubbish here, too, nanna8
At least your school bus system is excellent!

I think you’ve misunderstood Paddyanne. My daughter’s marriage has broken down. In any language that’s not happy. As for my comment about new/newer cars, I was using cars as an example of how expensive everything is in NZ and the majority of the population are it seems unable to afford newer cars, holidays abroad and so on. Please do not be so judgemental towards me just because I offered an opinion based on my experiences.
New Zealand doesn’t have the weather extremes found in Australia, although it can be very hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Nonetheless it seems to be a more temperate climate.

Regarding cars, secondhand cars are expensive in Australia, they hold their price unlike in the UK. That might be the same in NZ.

I hope your daughter is ok, madddyone, it must be traumatic, emigrating then going through a marital breakdown.
The job sounds less stressful but it's hard coping on your own without the support of family. 💐

My parents emigrated to Australia on the £10 Pom scheme fairly soon after WW2. I was only three so remember very little. We went to Sydney where my aunt lived with her Australian husband. Unfortunately my mother was not happy there. Our garden led down to the Georges River which meant there were snakes, there were possums on the roof at night and I suffered badly from hives and so we returned to England fairly soon after my fifth birthday.Three of my cousins and their children and grandchildren still live in various beautiful parts of NSW but I have never felt any urge to return.

In my view, there is no place like home ( UK )

My son ( lives in Canada ) has approached the subject of me living there, I stayed that no way will I leave my home, 1 of the reasons is, I relay on the NHS with my health issues.

The grass is greener to some but not others, each to their own, but not for me.

😃

I have really enjoyed reading all these posts. So many members of Gransnet in different parts of the world, and the pros and cons of living there are so balanced. My three children all live in different countries. Very upsetting when they moved there, but I have had many visits and treasure all the memories. I am too old to visit now, but we have emails and Zoom, and they visit whenever they can.