Last year I gave three rose bushes a stern warning. I would give them a lot of tlc but if I didn't get flowers this year then they were going to visit the brown bin. Two obviously didn't believe me or were too poorly despite all my care so today they've moved to the brown bin. The third took me seriously.
"Right," it thought, "You want me to grow then I'll grow."
And indeed it did. It grew taller and taller but didn't produce any flowers. So I warned it that growing wasn't sufficient. I expected flowers.
It didn't respond immediately but then suddenly started to produce buds. I thought the rose bush was behaving but it was simply leading me on because it had obviously worked out a cunning plan.
Today I realised it was mocking me.
"OK," it said. "You wanted flowers. I've given you flowers. But I've made the flowers so big and heavy that if you don't tie them up and support them they'll snap the branch. I'll give you the flowers you insist on but I'll not only cause you work in order to enjoy them but when you're tying them on, I'll make sure that I stick my thorns into you at every opportunity."
Today I tied the flowers to the support and they are indeed beautiful but now my hands look like I've been wrestling a wild cat.
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Gardening
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