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A quick bit of advice please!

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Semiruralgirl Thu 26-Dec-19 17:58:16

I find Gransnet very helpful, and comforting- good to know there is lots of support out there.
Tomorrow, we are expecting my DH sons and their partners. I get on with them all ok. One son has 3 children, 14 thro’ to 11, another has a 2 and half year old, the other none yet. There will be 14 of us for lunch/tea etc. The 3 children are a bit of an ‘onslaught’, lively and a bit out of control. At meal times they don’t sit down but roam around, are on iPads/games etc. They graze....the parents say ‘sit down’ or that’s a ‘1’, ‘’2’ etc - but it doesn’t make much difference. They will then go through to the sitting room, which is a comfortable room, with a tv, but sometimes they go a bit wild, throwing g cushions around, and I think they should stay in the dining room while we are there - there is a tv there. I would like to contain all the children with us in the dining room while we are eating, and then get them to wash their hands afterwards so that they don’t leave greasy, jammy hands over everything. I know they will get bored while the adults are still eating, and get up, wander off etc. However if I say anything it will be me being a bit of a spoil sport, and I will start to feel really annoyed. DH won’t say anything, but look on benignly. Any tips please?

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Hithere Fri 27-Dec-19 09:37:56

I think we all forget how boring is for kids to follow all these formal Christmas sit down meals and chit chat.

They are also with their cousins and of course they want to play together.

Now - There are rules of civility. Washing your hands after eating is basic so you do not get everything dirty.
The parents can bring toys for the kids so they do not destroy grandma's house.

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shysal Fri 27-Dec-19 10:12:32

Cover any non- washable furniture with sheets or throws, then you might not feel so stressed. You can always whip them off when you and their parents join them after the meal.
I hope you manage to enjoy a stress-free day. Let us know how it goes.

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EthelJ Fri 27-Dec-19 10:34:24

To be honest once my grandkids have finished eating I am happy for them to leave the table as they just get bored and fidgety and it means we can (try) have a chat in peace. They are younget than yours though age range 6 to 1.
If you want them to stay at the table you will need to engage them in the conversation or maybe do a quiz. You could start by asking one person on the table a question, if they get it right they get to ask the person of their choice a question etc. This worked for a while with my GC who enjoyed it.

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Lovetopaint037 Fri 27-Dec-19 11:51:44

Sympathy in cart loads. First for the numbers you are hosting and then for the lack of discipline that the children appear to not have. I would say what you want them to do in a firm but pleasant fashion. At that point the parents should back you up. If not relax about the whole thing. As for organising games in the middle of all that work, well that would be up to the parents bringing games etc with them.

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Esther1 Fri 27-Dec-19 22:58:19

Parents who allow their children to behave like this are not doing them any favours. For the sake of harmony I guess there is not much you can do about it all now apart from grit your teeth - but I am appalled that the children behave so disrespectfully. My GC are much younger but understand basic table manners.

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