How to cope with not seeing grandchild during coronavirus crisis

We lived hundreds of miles away from both my parents and my husbands parents. We saw his parents twice a year, mine 4 or 5 times because they visited us.

There were only letters and weekly phone calls (long distance very expensive) in those days.

My children loved and adored all their grandparents.

Incidentally I didn’t see my birth mothers parents ( my grandparents) until I was eighteen and I absolutely loved them as much as they loved me.

It is sad not to be there for these months but it won’t make any difference to your long term relationship.

If your daughter also shows him pics and videos of "granny" then he will be able to keep you in mind too.

It's sad not to see him, but as you know, it is for the best - both for you and him.

Why not send him a video of you singing his favourite nursery rhyme, or playing with a puppet he will recognise? You are in the same position as many grandparents who have GC overseas or far away. It takes a bit of effort but is possible to keep contact going. Don't worry too much about it.

Why not use Skype to see him and talk to him, at least its some form of contact and you wont lose touch with him.

It’s awful, isn’t it? By far the worst part of this horrid situation. Can you FaceTime? Not the same I know, but at least they know you haven’t forgotten them. I saw mine last weekend but only to shout through the closed window and blow kisses and leave chocolate and a home made ‘granny pie” on the step. Sigh

I’m feeling so sad not to see my DGC. They have all stayed at mine at least once a week since they were only weeks old . My older DGC (14,12,10) understand but how can you explain to an almost 2 year old that she can’t see grandma ? It’s completely breaking my heart and I worry for my DD as she is so lonely and there’s nothing I can do about it .

I feel the same gilly.Our little granddaughter is 4 and normally stays two days a week.She has been very upset that she can’t see us,it really is so upsetting.Our grandsons are 2 and 6 months so don’t understand at all.I just hope and pray we all come out the other side of this.

My children mainly saw their grandparents once, or maybe twice, a year, if they were lucky but had perfectly normal relationships with them.

Likewise, two of my GC live in America and two in London, 500+ miles from us. We’re still their GP’s and know them well. Focus on how lucky we are to have no-cost ways to keep in touch with our GC, unlike my the generation before us when letters and occasional phone calls were the best we could do.

I had a video call with my DD and 10 month old DGS last night. The minute I spoke he crawled to the phone to see me. We intend to do this about once a week so I can get my fix of my beautiful grandson, he was happy to laugh at us in the screen just like in real life. I am missing his snot and dribble kisses though but he was happy to kiss the phone screen!!!
His daddy works away a lot so maybe he is used to contact in this way but I would definitely try a video call.

My little granddaughter was almost 18 months at the start of the Lockdown - at first she loved it when my daughter put me on Whatsapp video, saying hallo Grama and she even hugged the phone - heartbreaking.
Now 5 weeks later at 19 months she barely acknowledges me on video call and wont engage. If I try to talk to her about a game she's playing she looks and screams saying gabble and Mama.
We think she just wants Mamas attention and has learnt I'm not there to play.
What have others experienced? Im finding it very hard.

I feel your pain - I’m in almost exactly the same position: but I have a strangely coincidental story from my own childhood in the 1950s which I’d like to tell you, cos I think you might find it comforting. I had an aunt who was always special to me: I knew her as Auntie Min. I couldn’t tell you why I loved her so much: I saw her rarely and it was always the biggest treat when she came. When I was old enough to understand, I discovered why: it dated back to when I was less than a year old and my mother was diagnosed with TB. Fortunately penicillin had been discovered by then and it was treatable, but she had to go into an isolation hospital for several months - sound familiar? And guess who came to live with us to look after me and my father while she couldn’t? That’s right: her elder sister, Auntie Min. I have literally no memory I can recall of that time, but I’d obviously developed a special bond with her while she was looking after me - like the one you and I have developed with our grandchildren. It’s tough, really tough, but I keep reminding myself of Auntie Min. If my grandson feels as attached to me as I was to her, I shall be very blessed

It will all be fine.
Like Eglantine we lived a long way away from our grandparents and my children lived a long way from theirs.
We saw my GP’s about every 3 years. Loved them, they were special. My children loved and had a great relationship with theirs.
No FaceTiming then, no telephone.
I think the population is being engineered to angst about everything these days.
If some expert tells us to worry and gives out coping strategies then we think there must be a problem.
BTW, my grandson is just down the road, I haven’t seen him for 3 months now, because we went to aus for 2 months before all this started.
We are looking forward to seeing him again, we used to have him 2 days a week but life is too short to worry. He’s with his parents, perfectly happy.

I'm just really glad to be safe and well. I'll catch up with the grandchildren next year. At least I'll, hopefully, still be around to have a relationship with them - instead of being a victim.

Most of you are lucky enough to have grandchildren in this country. Mine are abroad and I don't know when I will see them again so don't complain. The woman who asked Matt Hancock when she could hug her grandchildren again is incredibly naïve and doesn't know how lucky she is.

My grandson has his first birthday in a few weeks. We are still locked down in Wales so not sure if I will see him on his birthday.
I know many of us are unhappy about not being able to see our grandchildren.
I will build up the relationship with him again when we are able to go out again.

Thank you Janpt, my thoughts entirely.
2 yr old granddaughter and 2 day old grandson both in Australia , all visits cancelled/postponed. I haven’t seen Oz family for over a year ....

I am lucky really as my GC are young men now one of 15 and the other 20. So I only get a gruff “hello nan” and a quick chat.

Distance makes absolutely no difference to how you feel about your GC
Please don’t bring in a sour note. It is hard if your children are the other side of the world, but other grans are entitled to explain how they feel.

AGAA4 You have missed the point. At least you can see him when the lockdown is over so you have far less cause to be unhappy than some of us.

I am missing mine too. Seeing them on screen just isn't the same.
The littlest one, who only lives 100 miles away, can talk now and is out of nappies. I haven't seen her since Christmas.

I can't help with how to cope. I am just commiserating.

Not sour, just sad .

I’m arranging to meet up with my grandchildren (on a rota) as part of the ‘meet up outside with one person not from your household’ allowance. Luckily the youngest is nearly 9 so that’s easier than those who are just babies or toddlers.

Janpt. The point from the OP was whether she would be able to build up the relationship with her grandchild that she had before.
I have the same fears. Read the OP.