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Fear of dentist

(71 Posts)
Sheena Fri 01-Nov-19 19:57:17

I changed last year from my dentist as I hated going and had lost confidence in her. So I changed and went to a small private practice and my initial appointment went ok until she told me I had to have a tooth out. I had lost a bit of filling and thought she would patch me up ,but no... the tooth had to come out . Very traumatic as I said.. I have a complete phobia but I got through it. Took a long time to heal and ulcerated quite badly but in the end it healed. Then in June I went back as getting twinges with hot and cold in another tooth ... she said the whole filling had to come out and a new one in .. an hour.s appointment ... o m g I was terrified but yes , I got through it. BUT .. it is far worse than it was .. she put a composite filling in which feels horrid and rough .. and heavens ! The hot and cold sensations are far worse.... I am trying to hang on and not go back but it is misery ... and I now feel I’ve lost faith in her too. I thought going to a private one would give me more confidence, which it did at first, but each time I’ve seen her I’ve gone through agonies. Ok , maybe my teeth are now starting to deteriorate ... but I feel nervous to go back to her. My common sense tells me I am being foolish , but oh, I now worry I need to find another dentist . Don’t know what to do .

Anthea1948 Sat 02-Nov-19 12:28:15

I am so sorry for you, Sheena. I, too, am terrified of the dentist. I had all my teeth out when I was 32 and am grateful ever day. However, I occasionally have to have new dentures made and although I'm well aware I'm not going to be hurt I start to shake as soon as I go in the building. I think it's the evocative smell.
In other areas of pain I have a fairly high tolerance but at the dentists I was a wreck. You have my complete sympathy.
However, I believe these days there are good dentists around who will take into consideration a patient's fear and act accordingly. Maybe you could ask around, see if anyone you know knows of such a dental surgery?

Madmaggie Sat 02-Nov-19 12:28:36

I'm was scared of dentists like many others. I think it dates back to being held down in the chair and having the gas mask forced on as a child. Unnecessary fillings as back then they were paid by the nhs on number done (a British trained dentist in nz explained this) its no wonder we grew up scared. it took all my nerve to make an appointment recently when I lost half a molar, after 4yrs away I went. The dentist who I saw was a gentle giant even put the numbing gel on my gum before injecting. Told me my options & estimated cost. Discovered nerve was dead& that to avoid potential probs a root canal was best before a crown was fitted. two of the appointments were long but he explained some things and I found it easier to deal with. Its private so was expensive but necessary. Their equipment is amazing now even my crown was produced via 3D at a lab and is a perfect fit. I still go stiff at the high pitched drill. This year I had 3 sessions with a hypnotherapist to help with some other issues and did an 8 week mindfulness course and found I was using what I'd learned to cope in the chair. It really helped.

Nvella Sat 02-Nov-19 12:35:57

I hate the hygienist more than the dentist. Have to have about 6 injections for a scale and polish. Every time I go (every 3 months) I am tempted to tell them to take all my teeth out so I never have to go again!

Bluedaisy Sat 02-Nov-19 12:48:46

Try looking to see if you have a St Faith dentist in your area or a hospital consultant dentist who practice privately? I know St Faith take very nervous patients only and also do general anaesthetics if the patient needs work but is too nervous also we’ve relocated recently and was ripped off by the first private dentist we managed to sign on with but then I did some research and came across (by googling) a Consultant dentist at the local hospital who practices in a private practice in the evening and he was great, kind, quick and didn’t tell me I needed fillings etc when I really didn’t! Good luck

ayse Sat 02-Nov-19 13:01:53

I too have a fear of visiting the dentist as I suffered the same way as Madmaggie in the 1960s. I’ve always had excellent NHS dentists, so do find a different dentist. I always remind mine of my fear. It’s the fear of the pain and an injury unsympathetic dentist.

I love the idea of swishing the mouth out with olive or coconut oil.

Go with your gut feeling and find another dentist. I’ve found younger dentists are far more approachable than some of the old school

optimist Sat 02-Nov-19 13:32:14

After a lifetime of feeling scared of the dentist I went to a private dentist recommended who also employs an anaesthetist, I have had loads of work done and the only thing that hurts is my purse! Actually, I am now brave enough to remain conscious while having work done.

WOODMOUSE49 Sat 02-Nov-19 13:42:08

You can't choose which NHS dentist/practice you want in Cornwall. Don't know what it is like in other counties.

We have go on a waiting list and when a place comes up you are offered it regardless of how far you have to travel.

Know a family that have moved 3 times. The NHS practices they were with became private. They couldn't afford it. Now offered place 30 min drive away.

There are 48,000 on the waiting list for NHS dentist in Cornwall !

Camelotclub Sat 02-Nov-19 13:54:48

My dentist in the 1960s would smoke in between bouts of drilling. He'd be struck off now!

Camelotclub Sat 02-Nov-19 13:56:45

I used to hate and fear the dentist until I had a lovely one who put me at ease - mind you, he was private!

Then after breast cancer treatment I realised nothing a dentist could do to me would be worse than that and I have no fear now.

Nellie098 Sat 02-Nov-19 14:06:32

Make sure you use a toothpase for sensitive teeth. I have a sensitive top tooth but by using Sensodine (any type) twice a day I never have any problems now. It can also help short term if you just rub a little into the sensitive area now and then. Although I spend ages on thoroughly cleaning my teeth using those things for the gaps, floss etc it never seems good enough. At my last visit I was told I must use my electric toothbrush and I guess it must help. My lovely dentist left a while ago before the practice was taken over and the man I first saw managed to polish my lip instead of my tooth so I looked like I had been punched for a day or two. Obviously I asked to change to someone else and my latest dentist is a lovely lady.

grandtanteJE65 Sat 02-Nov-19 14:14:23

Phone the dentists in your area and explain that you are looking for one who is used to treating patients who are afraid of dentists and have had unpleasant experiences when having treatment.

A lot of dentists are trained to cope with this problem, which is exceedingly common - most of us dislike going to the dentist and can easily understand why others are terrified. Dentists can understand too.

It is worth taking time to find a dentist you can feel comfortable with and whom you can trust.

Jane10 Sat 02-Nov-19 14:28:05

I was lucky to have the same lovely kind lady dentist for years. She changed to being private but the Denplan scheme is very cheap for me (about £10 pcm). That covers any treatment plus 2 checkups a year and a dental hygienist session.
However, she retired suddenly last summer and now I have a young man as dentist. He's very nice but...
I had to have a complicated filling last week and really found it an ordeal. Had to have 2 injections. No pain but pressure and loud drills etc it felt quite brutal. I was amazed when it was over and tried to reach out for the cup of water that my hand was shaking uncontrollably! I felt quite shaken up all day. Over now. Phew!

B9exchange Sat 02-Nov-19 14:56:58

I've had a fear of dentists ever since I was 14 and the dentist yanked two teeth out without waiting for the anaesthetic to kick in. I went into shock and my mother was called into his room to scoop me up and take me to the doctors! As that was followed by the orthodontist using an adult sized plate for taking impressions, over filling it and forcibly holding it in my mouth whilst I choked as my airway was blocked, I think perhaps I have reason. I used to be able to conquer it for fillings, but it is getting worse now, if I needed major work I would have to be put out.

anniezzz09 Sat 02-Nov-19 16:35:16

I'm another hypnotherapy fan. I don't like the dentist but can cope but I was utterly phobic about flying. Three visits to a hypnotherapist and I am completely cured. Its been 5 years since I had the treatment and I still yawn on the way to the airport!

MooM00 Sat 02-Nov-19 17:16:07

Disgruntled, I too have gum problems with food pockets. I go to see my dentist every 6 months and a hygienist every 3 months. I now have to see in a few days time a periodontist and I can assure you I am not looking forward to it at all. I understand that they cut into your gum to do a better clean of the food pocket then they stitch the gum back. I am feeling panicky now at the very thought. I will make sure I take up your suggestion off olive oil or coconut oil in the future although it sounds rather odd. How often do you do the procedure ??.

Brigidsdaughter Sat 02-Nov-19 18:02:20

I suffered the school dentist. Now go to a lovely man in Worcester Park. Hes really good with his hands and born to be a dentist with s great manner and willing to give drugs to relax too

Carooline Sat 02-Nov-19 19:53:10

Sheena, I had composites in a few of my molars & they are fabulous. They look amazing, just like a tooth, they feel great so smooth so I'd say change your dentist! Good luck x

123kitty Sat 02-Nov-19 20:39:36

I read recently that some people have an extra nerve in their teeth, has anybody else heard.of this? Maybe it explains how my husband has fillings without being numbed and never feels a thing, whereas my mouth has to be completely numb.

tidyskatemum Sat 02-Nov-19 20:51:28

I didn’t go to the dentist for donkey’s years after several bad experiences but gave in a couple of years ago after accepting what a state my mouth was in. I went to a local private dentist who advertises being pain free and althoughI ended up having to have a complete top denture I have to say the experience was as good as it could be, right down to the dental nurse stroking my arm and making soothing noises while the dentist did his stuff!

Rich1e Sat 02-Nov-19 23:19:43

I last visited the dentist about 25 years ago. At age 70 now, my teeth are rotten. Apart from the phobia about dentists, I now have a phobia about paying for teeth out and false teeth!

sazz1 Sat 02-Nov-19 23:31:43

Worst dentist I ever saw had a new trainee dental nurse with him whilest doing my filling. He started telling her phrases in different languages like 'je t'aime amore, liebling etc telling her it meant darling I love you etc. Touching her arm saying bella. She was going really red with embarrassment. He started drilling, she was on edge, the water filled my mouth and throat and I was drowning, as she wasn't concentrating on the suction tool. He stopped as I was choking say oh madam Oh madam. He was foriegn but that is irrelevant as he knew he had upset the nurse and this is what happened. Think it shook him up. Finished the filling ok. I never went back.

zsazsa Sun 03-Nov-19 10:08:44

I really feel for anyone with dental phobia as I have been there....After suffering from a sadistic dentist in my early teens I didn't go near a dentist until my twenties and then only with a friend holding my hand to have all my front teeth out!....
Over the years I have found that self-hypnosis (deep breathing and thinking of a calming beach scene or similar) has really helped me to lower my adrenalin levels and blood pressure. For many years I put up with pain rather than have injections, but now - with deep breathing - can manage both.
I go regularly to a hygienist and look after my mouth a lot better now than I used to, which means far less treatment is needed.
I hope you can try self-hypnosis/deep breathing methods whenever you think of dentists, and especially before phoning them or attending appointments. It really does work!

floorflock Sun 03-Nov-19 19:33:16

Being needle phobic and scared of dentists I have a problem too. I pay for a private dentist because of the extra care I get. I have everything numbed thoroughly with cream before any injection so that I don't feel anything at all and even then my head seems to shake without my consent but the dentist is sympathetic and deals with me very well.
Ultimately you have to go to whoever you feel does the best for you. I hope you find someone suitable.

floorflock Sun 03-Nov-19 19:34:56

I would just add that we started at an NSH dentist but after having a different person every time we went and DH being stabbed in the leg with the inection I decided I could not return there and went private. - Had that been me they would have heard me in the next town!!

Sparklefizz Sun 03-Nov-19 20:10:40

floorflock shock