inheritance

Short answer - what’s his is also hers, now or when they divorce, unless they come to some agreement.

Would you like her to have some? In which case, just give them half each. Otherwise, I’d talk to a solicitor. She may have a claim even after divorce, if the Will was dated before, but don’t know for sure.

Toadinthehole. We did give them a lump sum for their wedding so I am feeling disinclined to let half of it go to her. Also my son doesn't have much so would like to help him. I am thinking that we could stop this inheritance, (it is only a deed of variation as I said not something written into the will) and give him some money at a later date? I can't see how she could claim any of that if they are not together. I wish non of it was happening, but in the circumstances I look to my son's welfare as paramount.

Keep hold of the money for now? See how thing's develop?

I'd hang onto the money for now.

As the last 2 posters have said - keep the money. Give it to your son later on, after he divorces his wife.

But she could still have a claim on anything you give to him, even if it’s not written in the Will, at any point. I really would get advice. Citizens Advice would help you.

"But she could still have a claim on anything you give to him, even if it’s not written in the Will, at any point"

Not after a divorce.

The default path of the money was to your husband...so under the circumstances I would stick with that and reconsider when / if things change, e.g divorce.

Are there any grandchildren?

Yes, hang on to your money because if it goes into his or their joint bank account, it will be shared in any divorce settlement. Sounds harsh but its the only way, unless you can somehow give him the money and 'hide it'.

I believe you have up to 2 years after death to apply a deed of variation. Wait until your son's situation has stabilised before giving him any money. Wife will definitely be entitled to half at the moment and maybe even after any divorce. Seek legal advice.

You can give him some but it needs to be ringfenced so that it is not included in any financial results if they go on to get divorced. You can do this but only through a solicitor

Let him have some money now if he needs it, but if anyone asks, it is a loan from you.

good one phloembundle.

I simply wish you'd not bail him out and use the money for yourselves.

Make sure everything is legally watertight. My husband's ex-wife came to him THIRTEEN YEARS after SHE left HIM for another man, wanted half of what the house they had shared was worth. It had tripled in value since she left! We were due to get married and if they hadn't settled before our wedding, she would have been able to claim half my money too. She was actually dragging her heels so she could do this! They finally settled but she got such a sizeable sum that my husband had to take out a mortgage to pay it, which resulted another sixteen years of scraping to pay the monthly payments and not being able to retire until recently, aged 69. So please, make sure things are legally binding for your Son, and not his wife!

I’d def. wait until after the divorce.
An aunt of dh cut one of his brothers out of her will because she thought his wife was appallingly extravagant (she was) and didn’t want her having any of her money to waste.

However by the time she died, BiL was divorced and the other brothers made a deed of variation to reinstate him.

I strongly suggest they try a counsellor. My son & his wife did this- they did have to pay but it wasn't a lot & it saved their friendship. The marriage was over but they finished up very good friends- sharing childcare for their 3 & they are the best of friends now. They take the children out together & have even holidayed together. They both lead their own lives happily & the children are 100% happy.
I wish it had been around when my own marriage split up- although we get on OK now.

Make sure you get legal advice - a lady I know inherited a piece of land via her mum, from an uncle.
She wanted to sell the land to the family that had been using it as an allotment for many years (not really worth much as no easy access to it so can't be used for building) then she found out that if she did, because she was still married to her ex husband at the time the land was gifted to her by her mum, her husband would be entitled to 50% of the money!

I would wait until after the divorce

You husband has inherited the money. Not your son.
I would wait and see what happens between him and his wife.
Keep the money back and gift it in the future when you know what is happening. I don’t see why his wife would then be entitled to anything.

Legal advice needed.

Presumably he will finish up supporting his wife in some way re mortgage etc.

Is there something you could pay for him directly, like rent perhaps?

They haven't given the marriage long, what went wrong? Marriage Counselling, worth a go?

Yes, consult a solicitor.