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Please could you share your thought.....sorry this may be long.

(44 Posts)
MargaretinNorthant Wed 21-Jun-17 12:02:33

Hello all,
Last Saturday lunch time we had a call from a lady to say our cat was lying injured in the road up by the allotments. He had on a collar with his name, my phone number and the fact that he was chipped. The lady and her son had found him when out for a bike ride, so it was obviously a hit and run accident. Sasha subsequently died at the vets late that evening.
I am 80, I still have my other cat Chloe, who is 13. She is missing him, as of course am I, but should I get another one? Would it be fair to her, the incoming kitten/cat and me? Bearing in mind it might well outlive me.
Both my cats were/are purebred Asians, Chloe a Tiffanie ( long haired) and Sasha was a Burmilla, extremely active, extremely vocal! So, question two is, has anyone successfully fenced their garden to keep the cats in. I don't want to have a house cat, Chloe is used to going out, though not very far now, and Sasha could have shown Houdini a thing or two.
I live in a village, and am blaming myself for not keeping Sasha safe in the garden. I knew that road was like a race track at times, people just ignore the 30 mile an hour limit on it. Having said that my daughter had one run over outside her house by the Tesco van. But he loved it over there, was made a fuss of by all the allotment holders, paid visits to the pre-school which delighted the children and created mayhem when he decided to attend church . He was a "character" , well known and loved in the village.
What do you all think?

AsarahG Wed 21-Jun-17 12:25:47

Sorry to hear of your sad loss. If you think you can find a suitable cat/kitten that your other cat will accept, and if you can arrange for someone to take the cats if anything should happen to you, I do not see why you should not have another. Chloe is getting older and you may well outlive her and miss not having a cat around. You may have plenty of years left. I would want my pet to be left to a trusted family member though if the time came.

shysal Wed 21-Jun-17 12:35:47

If I were in your position I would offer a home to an older rescue cat. They will have details of their habits and characters. I was told by Cats' Protection that my Bugsie was a home-loving boy and that proved to be true, he rarely goes beyond my garden and the one each side.
My other cat is a pedigree, bought as a kitten, who is a completely different kettle of fish!

grannysue05 Wed 21-Jun-17 12:45:59

My thought is that Chloe would be quite disturbed by a newcomer...cat or kitten or rescue. Also the road is busy and you may always feel anxious if the cat is out. That is not the way to be feeling at our age. Also, there isn't a fence on earth that will keep pussy in. So, keep your happy and loving memories of Sacha and relax. flowers

Sparklefizz Wed 21-Jun-17 13:27:15

I have been in exactly the same position as you, MargaretinNorthant.... first of all I had Archie and Phoebe (siblings) but Archie was run over aged only 18 months. Phoebe was bereft so eventually I got another kitten as a companion and eventually Phoebe accepted her. Unfortunately only 15 months later this little companion was also run over, and I made the mistake of getting a rescue cat. I loved the rescue cat dearly but she had "issues" because of her traumatic background, and kept attacking poor Phoebe.

I have agonised for weeks over what to do and eventually had to rehome the rescue cat last week, which is heartbreaking after the tragic loss of my 2 other cats so recently, but it had to be done. Sadly poor Phoebe has been very stressed and upset by being attacked in her own home, and now I have problems with her.

I will NOT be getting another companion for her - it's too risky, you never know if they will get on together, and it's been an emotional hell for me (and for Phoebe.)

I have been looking into securing my garden to stop Phoebe getting round to the front of the house, and it is halfway done. There are a number of websites showing what can be done. I'll let you know if it's 100% successful or whether it has just been a waste of money.

Sparklefizz Wed 21-Jun-17 13:28:20

PS. I am so terribly sad and sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely cat .... sorry, I should have said that in my previous post. My heart goes out to you ... we love our pets as members of the family.

MargaretinNorthant Wed 21-Jun-17 13:58:09

Thank you all. My feeling has been that a rehomed cat would be better than a kitten, but I don't want to upset Chloe any more than she is. At the moment she is practically glued to my ankle!! The road past the allotments is half a mile away, its ironic in a way as when we bought this bungalow safety for the cats was high on the list. Then Sasha developed wander lust! He was a replacement cat for Chloe's litter brother who sadly we had to have put to sleep when they were 8 because of kidney failure. Sparklefizz that's just what I am worried about, that the new one would make life hell for Chloe. And if I can't secure the garden then I don't think I could cope with worrying about where the new one is all the time. I think on balance so far I am inclined to just keep the one, and if anything happens to her then think about getting an older rescue cat. I wouldn't have any problem if anything happened to me though, the kids would be fighting over who was to have her! I will be interested to hear if you succeed in fencing Phoebe in.

devongirl Wed 21-Jun-17 14:28:53

I wonder whether you might be able to do short-term fostering through the Cinnamon Trust or Cats Protection, with a view to adopting if the cats get on well together?

Sparklefizz Thu 22-Jun-17 07:45:56

Margaret, if you want to consider securing your garden, check out this website:
www.secur-a-cat.com/gallery
and this Youtube vid clip showing how to do it:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPioQRJfgEY

Poor little Phoebe has now got stress-related problems since her experiences with the rescue cat I got for her companion. It looks like she has developed cystitis which the vet says has been brought on by stress.

Like you, Margaret, I don't live close to a main road but cats are free spirits and the 2 who have been run over were cats with wanderlust. How I wish I'd secured the garden before their accidents, but I didn't even know it was possible. If you google "secure cat fencing" there are a number of sites, and I took suggestions from those. I am hoping, once the work is finished, that it will keep Phoebe safe.

Sparklefizz Thu 22-Jun-17 07:50:37

Rescue Centres are not always very particular in matching up their rescued animals to the right owner and household. Sometimes I think they just want to rehome the pets in their care as soon as possible. I particularly asked that the cat I adopted would be good with other cats .... the cat they recommended HATED my other cat with a vengeance, and would stalk and ambush her at every opportunity. She was a lovely little cat with me but definitely needed to be a solo cat, and the Rescue Centre's mistake has caused my cat and me a lot of trouble and heartache.

MargaretinNorthant Thu 22-Jun-17 14:04:19

I am so sorry to hear that Sparklefizz. It is exactly what I do not want happening to Chloe. She is a lovely loving little thing, and it's her home first, I don't want another upset for her......or me. I think I would have difficulty making my garden totally safe, it goes round all four sides of the house. Would probably cost a small fortune. Nothing short of putting him in a cage would have kept Sasha in.....he was like greased lightening if you opened the door and he wanted out. I'm feeling a bit better about it all today, though still missing him. He packed more into his five years than most cats do in their nine lives. Regularly visited the pre-school and attended lessons, attended morning service at Church, helped at the Church fete, gate crashed any number of garden parties. It got that the phone would ring and a voice would say....do you own a cat called Sasha? And I would say....yes, what has he done now?? Worse than the children!!
Margaret

Sparklefizz Thu 22-Jun-17 15:34:45

Oh, Margaret, Sasha sounds gorgeous and a real character. You will always miss his funny little ways. I have lost 4 cats in 3 years - 1 from a heart attack aged only 6, 2 run over and the little rescue cat having to be rehomed. It's been a grim time and it makes Phoebe even more precious. My garden is an awkward shape and it has cost me about £500 to make it as safe as I can, which I can ill afford, but what price peace of mind and less risk of heartbreak? I just hope it does the trick.

Enjoy your lovely little Chloe. I think you are wise to keep just the one. I realised with hindsight that when my little Phoebe became clingy after first her brother and then her later companion died, she didn't want another companion as such - just any cat as a companion - she pined for those particular cats she had loved and lost! She and I are still pining for them together but she has lost weight and suffered a great deal of stress from being attacked by the rescue cat, and it will take time. It makes me feel very guilty as I brought the new cat into the house with loving intentions, but it all backfired.

paddyann Thu 22-Jun-17 23:43:52

I have a friend whose cats are essentially house cats but with a huge cat run at the back of the house ,its like a conservatory but has no glass just mesh around it and large tree sections and hiding places inside it ,His cats appear to be happy and settled with it ,might be a solution to your problem

NfkDumpling Fri 23-Jun-17 07:24:33

My DD1 has two cats which are half Rag Doll and a friend also has a couple of full Rag Dolls. None of these cats like to go outside much or go far. They love company and mostly just loll around indoors or sit on the step in the sun, - in fact one of DDs comes back in to use the litter tray refusing to get earth in her paws. I don't know for sure if its a trait of the breed but it may be worth looking at the Rag Doll rescue site?

Also - we used to live on a very busy road and DC desperately wanted a cat. I got a couple of kittens free from a lady further down the road who said her cats (and she had several) never got run over as they were "born on the road". She was right.

Anya Fri 23-Jun-17 07:55:46

Tell the cat rehoming people your problem. It's hit and miss if Chloe will accept another cat, but she might. You might have to try a few first.

Re poor Sasha. It was a price he paid for a wonderful adventurous life. Sad, I know but think of all the good times he had on his wanders and the friends he made.

I won't have a cat because of the danger from cars and their wanderlust. But it's their nature.

Tegan2 Fri 23-Jun-17 09:25:15

I lost a few cats on what used to be a very busy road, so had Burmese house cats. I still regret the fact that they had limited freedom. We also had a British Shorthair, who very rarely moved from the garden. I did see a programme recently that said most cats were much happier as 'only cats'.

Sparklefizz Fri 23-Jun-17 09:41:34

Tell the cat rehoming people your problem. It's hit and miss if Chloe will accept another cat, but she might. You might have to try a few first.

Anya - the above won't be at all helpful to Chloe who will be upset and possibly traumatised by various cats coming and going, plus what about the poor little rescue cats? One can't keep "trying" rescue cats on a sale or return basis.

SunnySusie Fri 23-Jun-17 09:50:22

Sorry for your loss MargaretinNorthant, I know how it hurts from personal experience, but it sounds as if your lovely kitty had the perfect life. I have always had cats, ten over the years, and sadly at least four were run over and one just disappeared. All cats are different and have their own personalities, but I have found the girls on the whole are less prone to wandering. I also have found it easier to introduce a kitten to a female cat in residence than a rescue cat. Even neutered females seem to have a mothering instinct for a small kitten, but a fully grown cat can be instantly seen as a rival for food and affection. Having said that cats are actually fairly solitary and can be quite happy with just their humans as companions.

Cagsy Fri 23-Jun-17 10:58:31

I'm very sorry for you loss too, we're a cat family so have suffered the loss of our lovely pets over the years. We live on a very busy road but none of our cats go near it, don't like the noise of the traffic, spend all their time going between ours and neighbours gardens.
We lost our lovely old big ginger tom about 2 1/2 years ago and didn't plan to replace him for a while BUT my sister was fostering a mummy and kittens for a local charity - so of course I fell for the smallest, prettiest little girl and so she moved in just a few weeks later. She has wrecked the place! Dining chairs were only 2 years old and she uses the leather backs as scratching pads and they're like lace, likewise curtains and couch. I feel embarrassed at the state of them all but feel replacing them would be futile as I don't trust she wouldn't do it again.
If I ever get another cat it's definitely going to be a nice mature rescue cat MargaretinNorthant flowers

GrannyMac1945 Fri 23-Jun-17 11:00:34

I'm sorry to hear of your loss Margaret. I've always had a cat until a few years ago, after she died we were thinking of moving so didn't get another one. Now we are in a flat which is ours but has a long lease. This stipulates no animals. It's not sheltered housing or anything like that, just ten flats but by the nature of these flats most people are retired. I would like a cat and there's been lots of research showing the benefits of animals for older people, should I challenge the terms of the lease do you think ? Or just get one and see what happens. Would I be opening the door to others getting a huge dog ? Ha ha.

Theoddbird Fri 23-Jun-17 11:08:26

Your dear cat has flown to the Rainbow bridge...so sorry for your loss x

As suggested an older rescue cat would be a good idea. So many in need of a home and love x

sarahellenwhitney Fri 23-Jun-17 11:13:17

So sorry Margaret for your lossflowers. The loss of a pet is gut wrenching and having experienced these losses understand your 'should I'. If you decide to have another cat then go for a kitten and have your garden made secure An older cat used to freedom would fret. Your kitten would become accustomed to his/her environment.
Good luck and I hope this helps.

Whatthehellhappened Fri 23-Jun-17 13:30:50

So sorry for your loss Margaret. In my experience it will be very much hit and miss. I got a female kitten when I had two male (neutered) adult cats. There was some initial spitting but it quickly settled down and they all became very close. When the two boys died (at different times) the younger cat desperately missed them so I decided to get two more kittens as feline company for her. I thought they would bring out her maternal instincts and she would be happier. She hated them on sight and was even more miserable. So one success story and one failure - who knows what will happen, cats are such contrary creatures

Penelopebee Fri 23-Jun-17 13:52:50

I adore cats, I have two. We got Archibald when the dog died, to keep Cabbage company. Then as the years went by Cabbage passed away. After a conversation with a customer at work we rehomed a six month Albert. These two are now 7 & 5, they have a proper brotherly relationship, teasing each other for fun and rarely cuddling up. But both happy to be together with their hugely different personalities. If you want another cat, get one. It will be for you not your Chloe, she will adjust either way. Fostering sounds great, or rescue. They will understand and won't rehome to where a cat is unhappy. It all depends on their personalities. Good luck whatever you decide flowers

W11girl Fri 23-Jun-17 14:45:16

My two darlings died within 8 months of each other in 2014. Saddest year of my life. They were 17 years old, and the loves of my life. Only now do I think about getting another but my husband has put his foot down for once, for two reasons. 1. My heart will be badly broken again if anything happened and 2. The cat may outlive me and I really couldn't bear that he/she would be left alone. So personally I wouldn't have another. Neither would I have a replacement, in case the surviving cat would still be pining and would be very upset with a new face. I'm so sorry about your cat. Its heartbreaking.