Where is he?

Ann and anya - as I'm ten years older than my husband and already have mild cognitive impairment I fear the shoe may well end up on the other foot and I will be the needy one eventually.

I've just completed a course on dementia and also through my work as a chaplain I see how difficult life can be for carers, however patient and compassionate you are.

DH and I know exactly where the other one is, he lets me know even if he is just going out to clean the car. We lived apart for 16 years and only met up at weekends so we are now enjoying each other's company.

I know where my ex husband is - with his second wife!

But when I was married to him and with my ex boyfriend, I did know where they were, the ex boyfriend was with me most of the time anyway, enjoying every second together until he cheated on me the second time, then it was over.

Only since he has a cardiac arrest 4 years ago. It's nice to be in contact. It's only polite to say where one is going surely.

DH not ready to retire yet, at 72, and won't give up our 'tied' house, so I travel off to our retirement home from May to October. It's 400 miles away. He visits me about 4 times in that period, and I visit him at home once. I enjoy being with my different grandchildren who live near our holiday house and I like being independent for at least part of the year.....

flower I think GA meant "all the time". As I said, I mostly know where my husband is, but he doesn't check in all the time.

The flipside is (and of course discounting people who aren't able to be left alone) having to listen to my Sister-IL constantly being hysterical and making endless phone calls because her husband has gone AWOL for a couple of hours, her reason being that he is 84 (he is nearly 20 years older than her). Drives me crazy, I want to brain her. She is forever demanding that he tell her what he's up to when he leaves the house.

My husband and I both have mobile phones and we usually (although not always) can contact the other if we're wondering where they are - I don't very often call him though and he very (very!!!) rarely calls me. I have occasionally asked him if he wondered where I was when I've been out and the answer is always no, If he'd wanted to know where I was he'd have called me! Fortunately when we get together we do like to chat about where we've been and what we've been up to. He just called me now to explain he's cycling home from work so will be at least another hour and a half and asked what I've been up to. I told him (virtuously) that I've cleaned out the allotment shed today and in response I got a text a few minutes later saying, 'I love you'. Awww.

Venn diagram here, with the help of notes and phones, as PPs have said.

IMO, each couple is different and has to do what works for them.

My OH does not always take his mobile with him and if he does he rarely switches it on. He usually turns up eventually.
To be a little but fair he does play a lot of music and it's not done to have your mobile on in rehearsals.