Oldest son went missing

So sorry to hear this. What a worry for you. I hope things are more settled soon.

That must be so worrying for you - I am glad that there has been a "happy ending" and hope that the hospital will be able to settle him down and that he will be able to go back to his carers. Do we ever stop worrying about our children?

Thank you, he has always been so happy with his carer, leading a full life and having a job he enjoyed. I was wary about him being so near my mother but it has been fine until now, I have asked if all his visits to her can be supervised from now on.

He must be fond of his grandmother . I am baffled why an anti terrorist squad was involved for a missing person .

I am sorry you had so much worry

Believe me we are just as baffled, and no real anwsers from the Police either, the only reason we can think of is DS1 studied Theology in college 23 years ago for 2 years.I was asked I was very religious, I pointed out that it was a Protestant college and although I attended the COS here DS1 did not go to Church at all now, nor had since leaving.
He is a bit narsissistic and likes all the attention his grandmother gives him, male equivalent of the 'Little Princess Syndrome'.
The reason we moved north when he was small was to get as far as we could from her.

Seems these problems goes back many years and you are all affected, your son most of all , I am sorry, family rifts cause pain for all.

What a worrying time for you Felice ?I hope that your son will be back with the carer and her family soon.

What a terrible experience. You need to rest and recuperate now whilst your son is safe in hospital. Hopefully the foster family will take him back

He is back with his carer now I am on the phone to her at the moment, he is fine but my Mother really has a lot to awnser for.

Glad he's safe, felice. A very worrying time for you.

A very stressful time for you felice I am so glad his carer took him back and that he is safe now

Thinking of you felice. What a nightmare for you.

Arrgghh to top of a wonderful week DGS BF dad is on his way round with some chairs for me, they have moved to Luxembourg.
DGS is here, wants to make cookies, toys everywhere, and he is in a mood as he did not know what was going on last week so no idea why DD and i were stressed out.
Friend is probably the fussiest person I have ever met, makes Hyachinth Bucket look like a slob.
So between all my sewing stuff in the garden room(making aprons for the Trappist beer soc DD and SIL are members of)and not a thing done in the place since Tuesday I just need it.
Wish me luck folks, I will need a soon.
Oh I hope he doesn't want to use the toilet

It never rains but it pours, felice! Just reading your last post makes me feel exhausted! I hope you will be able to relax soon.
Your son is fortunate to have such wonderful carers!

My son has no idea how lucky he is, his care is a wonderful woman, not young and has dealt with a lot from him over 17 years.
Yet when I was talking to her earlier she was laughing, as DS1 had gone for milk and popped into the local pub on his way home, just to say hello.
She has the patience of a saint, and gets paid less than £60 a week for everything.
An unsung hero if ever there was one, I am going to try and arrange some flowers for her, and a nice bottle of wine too.

Ok another thing done, and just made cookie dough with DGS, sorry i seem to be using GN to chat to today, helping a stressed out DooDoon get through the day.
Roll on bedtime, mine!!!

No need to apologize, felice! What a week you've had! How frightening to have DS disappear like that! Glad he was found and was okay though. All's well that ends well.

I agree with the idea of visits with your mum being supervised though. Hope you can work that out.

felice looking back on your week you must feel you have been on a surreal rollercoaster ride

Glad your DS is back in the family/carer fold

Your DGS is keeping you all grounded.

Even with what you have been through I detect a sense of humour

wish it could be from a RL bottle.!

Oh dear felice, what a worry. It does sound as if the police over-reacted totally in the way they treated his carer and made the situation worse. I'm glad he was found safe and sound.

Let's hope he settles down again with reassurances and your mother doesn't upset the applecart again.

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Felice. I have just seen this post, and my stomach turned over. I cannot begin to imagine how terrible this must have been for you.I am so pleased it seems to have reached a happy conclusion. Get yourself some rest. [flowes]

felice Glad things have worked out well and that your son is safe . Just wondering , does your son know where you live? your post says he was on his way to Portugal where you all used to live . I have never heard of the arrangement he has re living with a carer as part of a family ,( I was a PSYchiatric nurse btw)so just interested . When Thatcher shut down all the Psychiatric hospitals - there were 1.000 beds in my local hospital - not really sure what happened to most of the patients who were quite happy and institutionalised living in the hospital . It was what we used to call a Total institution , everything from work to leisure provided and most of the patients had full and reasonably happy lives without the stresses of the outside world .

I too am so glad to hear your DS is safe and sound again. It must have been an horrendous time. Anti-terrorist squad? The carer must have been traumatised!

I worked for a mental health charity in Norfolk, f77ms and we supported some of those who would have been in a secure psychiatric hospital had one existed and been happy there. They struggled with life alone. One used to try to get himself arrested each Christmas so he could spend it with others. They were very vulnerable to being taken advantage of from being convinced they'd won a fortune with Readers Digest to having drug users taking over their accommodation. Closing those hospitals with no real alternative was a disaster.

I should have emphasised the 'some'! I do realise that a lot of people who would have been "put away" then are more than capable of coping in the big wide world especially now there is more and varied support available.

I do so agree! Our large Learning Disability hospital was also closed or 'reprovided' as it was called. This meant that people were scattered to so called 'care in the community' which turned out to be a ragbag of small flats with intermittent visits from ever changing 'carers' and the poor souls on high doses of anti depressants to help them cope. All very well meaning of course but extremely sad for people. I used to work across settings and I would often be asked 'how is so and so'? People completely lost touch with others they'd lived with all their lives and all in the name of progress.
There was undoubtedly abuse in the old days but there was also excellent care and the potential to live happy fulfilled lives. In stamping out the potential for abuse a huge amount of good caring practice was lost. and