Baby name difficulty

Got to work it out themselves nothing anyone else can do
Sounds as if he was just a sperm donor anyway he should have used birth control until the relationship was on a firm footing as you say a brief relationship
Sounds like the child's name is the very least of their problems
No sympathy sorry

His first suggestion that she can choose from a list of names that he likes got him off to a bad start!

He's being a bit unreasonable to make an issue of things at this stage - be better to let things cool for now.

But it is his child and he has just been used as a sperm donor by a rather controlling and manipulative female. Cut the lad some slack.

He's been used. Led into this by his nose (or another part of his anatomy) and she will quite likely control his access to this child when it suits her.

This is a no win situation with baby caught in the middle

Oh goodness poor baby having parents like this, they seem as if they are so far apart ,what effect will this have on a child growing up when they cant even sit down and discuss a child name !!!

I don`t think he need worry about the child being teased at school - there are so many weird names now, he won`t be the only child with one!

Maybe his surname could be the baby's middle name?

If you know him I'd advise him to take her compromise.
As she is an unwed mother she legally has 100% control over the name.
At a later date he will be able to petition the courts to add his surname.
But as far as first and middle names go she doesn't actually have to let him chose.

I agree totally with Anya

Let her choose the name, she's the one who'll probably have most of the care and has to go through the birth and was the one to actually decide on having the child. As has been said he was obviously just the sperm donor and ultimately she does have control. He can always have a special pet name for the boy. Perhaps a nickname made from this horrible name.

Well if his main concern was the child being teased with a horrid firstname, how does his later suggested compromise of having the child take his surname help with that? Sounds to me like it's not about the child's future wellbeing but all about point scoring.

What a mess! Not even born yet and poor baby is already caught in the middle! Hope it won't always be this way! Bloke should have used condoms.

Anyway, I like the nickname idea. Also, I think he should accept the mum's compromise and choose the middle name. Preferably something strong, solid and conventional or popular, so boy can use it, eventually, if he doesn't like his first name.

This sounds like Tom and Kirsty meets Rob and Helen.

Her baby, her choice of name.
IF she wants to involve him in co-parenting then perhaps they should talk about it, but it doesn't sound promising does it.

That's why having a child when you are married is the best for everyone, including and especially for, the child.
She sounds like a piece of work.

He needs to visit Glastonbury where the kids have wacky names and no one bats an eyelid........'Lumnious' for a girl and 'Sterling Oak' for a boy...........and loads of Merlins and Litlliths, Geronimo......look at what the celebs call their kids.

If the boy himself doesn't like it he will change it when he is able.

Nick names exist to accommodate this. I sat up at nights with a 'Name Your Baby' book and none of my kids are known by the names I have them.......none of that matters.

I am more concerned that your son has been used as a sperm donor and what hurts may lie a head from him if she is from abroad and he becomes attached to his boy.

Get the legal stuff sorted soon as possible.

radicalnan..... it is not the OP's son.

John Wayne was named Marion! Can't be worse than that!

My mother hated her first name Eleanor and everybody called her by her 2nd name Margaret...am sure if this boy hates the first name he will ask people to call him the other onev

Grannyactivist.
How sad and sick
The child has yet to come into this world and already in the middle of a battle.
I fear for its future.

I'm afraid that this situation seems to be becoming common. Sadly, I don't think he's got a leg to stand on. I believe, as they are unmarried, the mother will have full control of the situation - someone correct me if I'm wrong. Even if he doesn't get a say in naming the child, which I think is terrible, he should make sure that he's present when the birth is registered, to ensure that he is named as the father. I believe the mother doesn't have to put his name on the birth cert if they are unmarried, and he cannot register the birth without the mother present, unless the mother gives permission via some kind of legal doc.

You're correct Kitspurr. However he could be stood there at the office in front of the registrar and unless she gives permission to be on it he won't be put down.
Being on the BC gives him PR. He can go to court to obtain these even without being on the BC.

I agree with Anya.

Poor child...with such parents!

I agree with rosesarered. Really, I suppose that we all have children for selfish reasons, but at least those kids with two parents who (presumably) can co-operate with each other have a better chance in life. These two sound like a disaster!

A middle name is the best he can hope for, legally no standing. May husband is always known by his middle name. The child can always change name by deed poll later in life. There are a great many unusual names now so he won't be that different. My son in law to be has a Christian name chosen by his foreign father and he took his mothers scottish surname when his father died. He still considers deed poll but not until his mother passes away, he doesn't want to upset her. As Shakespear said " what s in a name?" .