Are you married but living separately?

I'm sorry that I don't but I wish you all the happiness in the world . If it's meant to happen it will.
I just hope for the same for my D some day.

boheminan sounds perfect, if it works for both of you why shouldnt it continue. There is no legal reason why a couple shouldnt live in seperate abodes. I am sure there will be many Gnetters who will be a tad envious

I'm in similar circumstances Bohemian . My DH and I have maintained entirely separate homes for over 14 years, they're not even in the same county. We are perfectly amicable, get on well, spend time together as a family and are there for each other in time of need. We just don't want to live together. There have been no issues legally because we pay our own taxes and bills and we have our own bank accounts. At first, there were some raised eyebrows but, as DH says "there are a million ways of living a life; you just have to find one". And this way works very well indeed for us.

I am in a similiar situation, under "new partner in later life" we have known each other for about 12 months but recently got together as a couple, we met through our dogs really, while out walking,
I hope it works out well for you,
Having lived alone for a very long time, i am not sure i could live with anyone else, so i am happy at the moment anyway living seperately

Thank you.

What I'm pondering is how we'd stand financially? eg: would being married but living in different homes affect our pensions,tax, etc. I fear we could fall into a cesspit of bureaucratic red tape, unwittingly confusing authorities by our having two addresses.

I know from experience that cohabiting can bring its own set of problems, but this is slightly different and potentially more confusing. I persoanlly don't know of anyone in a similar situation - eg: being married but choosing to live apart.

Another route would be to have a Humanist wedding. I did that once before and it was a wonderful ceremony, but it doesn't settle our feelings of wanting a full legal as well as loving responsibility to each other.

Something to mull over on a beautiful sunny day. - I'm off down to the boat to breakfast with old man river....

Charles and Camilla regularly live in separate houses i believe, as does my daughter's in-laws. Just makes more expense thats all.

Wish i had a narrowboat[jealous]

Whatever floats your boat Wishing you every happiness however you decide to live your lives, sounds like you have the best of both worlds.

It does sound as though it could be a bit of a cesspit. You seem to have the ideal arrangement at the moment so why rock the boat? I would love to be in your position, best of both worlds!

Sounds perfect. I live on a narrow boat and my ideal would to meet a guy who has his on boat...he could moor next to me...mine would be the one with the fairy lights and bunting

It's my understanding that if you each have a home, then you marry, that you have a period of time (a year?) in which to sell either (or both) homes without paying any tax. After that, you need to designate one of the homes as your "main residence "and the other, if ever sold, will incur capital gain tax charges. This is only my understanding - but worth checking?

Hi , you will decide what's right for you. I wonder at the need to get married though when you have both been married before. If things didn't turn out well you would have to go through a divorce and all the difficulties that entails. When married legally I know you will be well aware that you are entitled to half of what he's got and he is entitled to half of what you have. My partner and I have been together for 11 years and have lived together for 6 of them.We love each other but having both been through divorces we have no intention of getting married.We have sensibly draw not up a living together agreement ( see the LT website) . Whether married or not , living together or not it's sensible , well I believe to discuss all things including money, property and paying bills openly and as soon as possible. I know I am very practicable but experience on the divorce front has helped! It has helped us to be clear about the way we live together. Good luck

Sorry typo sentence should read WE HAVE DRAWN UP A LIVING TOGTHER AGREEMENT, see the LT website it's really good!

I can't foresee any legal problems, you would be responsible for your property, registered for Council Tax & to vote. You are responsible for your own Income Tax & Utility bills.

Inheritance is simplified if you are married whether you live together or not.

I worked with a lady who married later in life for reasons of simplifying inheritance, she maintained a flat in London & he had a house in Suffolk, they mostly met up at weekends, worked well for them. Good luck on your decision

Bo, all the luck in the world to you! You deserve it!
Why not make your own ceremony?

If the houseboat is,nt too far away from where your cottage is it sounds ideal keeping both if it's financially possible.....sounds lovely.....best of both worlds. I don,t think there"s any legal reasons why you can"t do this. Regarding red- tape and complications if there are any that is...could one address be the main postal address with the other one just having its utility bills sent there ...a bit like a holiday home I suppose.I love houseboats so I,de be torn as well.

boheminan, I draw your attention to what David1968 said further up, in case it disappears from view - if he is right, then as far as I know that is the only beaurocratic problem you will have.

I know two couples who have married for second time in later life and who have each kept their own homes in different parts of the country. They spend some weeks together in one place then go to the other one for a while and ccasionally stay apart for a short ime. It would not be for me but seems to work for them. They seem very happy!

That sounds great to me polly! Having just embarked on a late-life relationship I find despite the initial enthusiasm for being together all the time, I'm glad we still live separately and I have no wish to change that. I remember Peter Cook once said that the reason his marriage was so happy was because he and his wife lived in different houses (in the same lane, I believe).

Do remember if you get married it changes your Next of Kin. If you have family this ought to be discussed with them.

Whilst it would not suit everyone I can certainly see the plus sides,the houseboat living and the tranquility of a cottage and your own company when you want it as I am a firm believer in having your own space I'm sure many people would relish this style of relationship if they could afford to run two homes specially one of them being a houseboat

Prue Leith and her newish husband live in separate houses, can't see a problem as long as you both make very specific wills. Possibly get some legal/financial advice as to the best way round things like inheritance tax etc?

When I met my 2nd husband we'd both been divorced for ages and were both dead set against marrying again, but it just seemed the right thing for us and we do live together in "our" house bought by each selling our previous homes. I love my solitude and wondered how I'd cope but we both have lots of interests that take us out of the house separately, so I always seem to have time to myself. And actually, there's no-one I'd rather spend time with than DH anyway.

Where and how you live should be your own business, but if I were you I would ask the citizens' advice bureau or a solicitor whether there are any legal drawbacks - you don't want to be had up for defrauding the Inland revenue at some point in the future.

I'm assuming that neither of you have children, as you don't mention any, but whether you marry or not and whether you decide to live on board his houseboat or in your house, or turn and turn about, please avoid difficulties in the future by making wills (dreary task, I know) and check with your banks what happens with bank accounts, here even if you are married, you cannot access a spouse's bank account either during their lifetime or if you are left as a widow or widower. I know many people who discovered that sad fact too late! You need a power of attorney unless you have a joint account. This kind of thing is easier to discuss while you are both healthy than later on, if one of you is seriously ill.