Gransnet forums

Relationships

OH objects to my smartphone

(67 Posts)
SandraF Tue 14-Aug-18 14:08:25

What do you do about your OH objecting to you using your smartphone?

Last night my OH was watching yet again a WW2 film whilst I caught up with friends and family, my phone was on silent. After the film finished he said he would like to throw the phone in the bin.

However, he has no objection to the phone when he wants to know the football scores or use maps, google, etc !

Needless to say he won't use a phone which can cause some difficult situations when he's out on his own.

janeainsworth Tue 14-Aug-18 14:12:32

Sandra MrA only stopped objecting to my smartphone when he got one himself.
You will just have to work out a cunning plan to make him think he needs one too. Presumably he has a mobile of some sort?

Luckygirl Tue 14-Aug-18 14:13:50

Tell him to take a hike!

MiniMoon Tue 14-Aug-18 14:17:44

My OH used to object to my use of a tablet, saying it was a time waster. That was, until he got a Kindle fire for Christmas. He now sees what a useful thing it is. He does online banking, unheard of before! Listens to audio books, Google's any amount of stuff.
He doesn't say anything to me about mine now.

rubytut Tue 14-Aug-18 14:22:29

I use a smart phone but not when I am with somebody, I have several friends that when using their phones,not making calls, seem to lose the ability to hear. I do not see your OHs problem if he was watching TV unless he had been speaking to you and you were not responding.

OldMeg Tue 14-Aug-18 14:24:17

I’d threaten to ram it up his .....

muffinthemoo Tue 14-Aug-18 14:26:10

So he’s happily watching a film you have no interest in, and he objects to you silently entertaining yourself?

Forgive me if this comes across rudely, but what exactly is his problem?

You have every right not to be made to sit through a film or similar entertainment in which you have no interest. You were making no noise or suchlike that could have disturbed his viewing. I assume you were not in the cinema and therefore the screen glow was not an issue.

Genuinely, what is his complaint?

Madgran77 Tue 14-Aug-18 14:29:05

Um I think he needs to be quiet before you complain that you would like to throw the TV in the bin rather than watch yet another film you are not interested in!! And maybe the phone battery could be flat when he wants to check football scores! If you want a smart phone, if he doesn't want one that's his business! If you were on it in the middle of a conversation there might be some validity in his comment but otherwise ...!!!!!

Scribbles Tue 14-Aug-18 14:56:54

Use the smartphone to Google divorce lawyers.

SandraF Tue 14-Aug-18 15:21:47

I was sitting on the settee last night and he was in the armchair at the side whilst watching his film. He wasn't speaking to me at any time, so I wasn't ignoring him. Will have to try the tv in the bin threat next time.

Bathsheba Tue 14-Aug-18 15:27:35

Sorry, but I'm bewildered by his attitude. So you use a device, quietly and unobtrusively, while he watches his choice of TV (which I'm guessing he knows is not your choice). What exactly is he objecting to?

Like muffin, this is a genuine question - I'm struggling to think of a possible reason to object.

I was chortling to myself interested to read he experiences difficulties when out alone due to his refusal to have a phone.

mumofmadboys Tue 14-Aug-18 15:28:30

Perhaps you should go and sit in another room and see what he says.

ginny Tue 14-Aug-18 15:31:44

Agree with previous posters.

FlexibleFriend Tue 14-Aug-18 15:37:28

Oh minor irritations like that disappeared when the OH slung his hook.

bikergran Tue 14-Aug-18 15:39:32

I rem when I first acquired my own computer.. it was in the spare bedroom, so....when the news came on (normally about 3 times a day) I would go upstairs and play on computer(was one of those BIG monitors and separate keyboard, you rem the ones) OH seems to get jealous I was up there and not sat with him watching the news.
He would say to people ohhh she 's up there with Mr Computer! hmm lol.

He was same when I got a mobile, I used to have to txt in secret and on silent a it seem to irritate him if it was pinging! but I put it down to him beeing pretty poorly and just couldn't stand things pinging etc think if their not involved in everything then they can perform "sulks" when needed.

BlueBelle Tue 14-Aug-18 15:47:07

There are times when I read these posts about selfish or thoughtless mates that I realise there’s a reason I m alone ???

Lazigirl Tue 14-Aug-18 15:53:45

Scribbles gringrin

M0nica Tue 14-Aug-18 16:29:38

He is not a child, why on earth does he need you devotedly sitting at his feet looking at him adoringly, while he takes no notice of you as he watches his program. Does he throw you doggiechocs as well?

If I am not interested in a program DH is watching I go somewhere else in the house and do something different (and vice versa, if he is not interested in something I am watching).

In fact we are often in the house together but in different parts doing different things. We even both have our own cars so that we can have independent lives. We have just genuinely celebrated 50 years of marriage so being independent isn't a sign of a failing marriage.

Any man who expected me to give them my full undivided attention all the time they were not working wouldn't have got past the second date - and several didn't.

Riverwalk Tue 14-Aug-18 16:46:38

What exactly is it he objects to? Would it be OK if you sat there reading, or knitting?

MissAdventure Tue 14-Aug-18 16:48:40

Well, I can sort of see his point.
People on phones often seem to go off into a totally different dimension; completely oblivious to their surroundings..
Maybe he is like that with watching films though.

glammanana Tue 14-Aug-18 16:58:03

My OH could object all he likes (which he never would) it would get him nowhere its my choice what I use and when the same as when he uses his smartphone I would never object,we are not joined at the hip,by the way if my OH wants to watch football etc he will remove himself to the TV in the bedroom and I watch the lounge TV.

oldbatty Tue 14-Aug-18 17:02:37

Sandra, I would suggest you have a chat with him about how the two of you spend your time and see if you can come to some sort of compromise.

If he is interested in War films, that fine ,but you dont need to tag along. You can go in another room or go out?

Baggs Tue 14-Aug-18 17:21:55

Ask him to wear headphones when he's watching a film you don't want to watch, then it won't disturb what you, quietly, want to do on your phone.

He's the one with the noisy gadget, not you. Perhaps point that out to him. TVs are much more intrusive than smart phones.

grandtanteJE65 Tue 14-Aug-18 17:39:44

If you were texting then your OH is out of line, but if you were talking on the phone while he was watching TV I do understand his irritation. If that was the case, could you not sit in another room?

War films drive me batty too, so if DH wants to watch one I go somewhere else in the house. But perhaps you only have one sitting room?

midgey Tue 14-Aug-18 18:00:46

You do know that lots of smartphones are compatible with the tv......and you can change channels or even turn the b****y thing offgrin