what has happened?
1) parents expressed no love when i was growing up- i was neglected and ended up being sexually abused by a stranger wheni was 5 yrsold. mum beat me regularly with a stick really hard it left a mark, never got hugged when i was a child and was lonely - i had 3 sisters.
2) i went to university but my sisters didn,t. they are all on second and third marriages now and have loads of kids.
3) my husband died suddenly with no warning and i have one son
4) middle sister has written some evil letters since i got married and so we no longer speak
5) another sister was supportive of me for 2 weeks and then she has cut me off,
i now live alone with no family- they won't support or speak to me. son is away at university.
i cry most days even though i'm on tablets. counselling hasn't helped. the counsellors say i'm too nice.
i need a job but at 60 yrs of age i can't get one so i'm struggling to pay bills and feed myself.
i'm lonely and feel as though i've done something wrong to deserve this treatment.
i've tried the Samaritans but they just listen. i have just spent 3 days in bed sleeping - to keep warm, to stop feeling lonely, andto avoid eating 3 meals a day.
my dad has died and i can't attend the funeral as i have no money - the funeral is far away. i've told my one sister and she has sent me photos of my dad dying in hospital and has now cut me off as well.
i am truely alone, ( my husband only died 3 months ago as well) .
Christmas will bean ordinary day this year and my birthday follows this. i will receive no cards for either.
what is wrong with me?
i walk by other people's houses and i see loads of cards and people in them.
any ideas?
