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Xmas and sister

(7 Posts)
Jette Tue 01-Jan-19 12:23:10

At the Xmas after my husband died my sister said I am not part of her family.Since she lives 200 miles away and I have mobility problems I could not have gone but this year she was with her son and family 20 miles away but I was not invited even for a cup of tea
We spoke on the phone and when I said I was sad she sait that was normal.She obviously did not see her rejection as unusual.So she and her husband and 3 of her children were together plus 2 grandchilden.Is it sibling rivalry [I have no children] or what reason her makes sense.If it were she who was alone I could not leave her out

mumofmadboys Tue 01-Jan-19 12:49:01

That is very harsh Jette. She sounds very thoughtless and lacking in Christmas goodwill. Try to put it behind you and try not to brood on it.

sodapop Tue 01-Jan-19 12:52:10

I agree with momb it's your sister's loss Jette but I know it must make you sad.

mumofmadboys Tue 01-Jan-19 15:28:27

You could write to her and say it would be lovely to resume a sisterly relationship and you would really appreciate that. If she ignores your letter , you have done your bit to try and repair things and you will have to let it go. If you feel you may have hurt her in some way you could apologise. But it's no good spending months or years brooding over something if she has no desire to meet you halfway. I wish you well.

Anja Tue 01-Jan-19 15:32:57

Or you could just not contact her at all and see how long it takes her to get in touch. Be prepared for the worst and rebuild your own life.

You say you have mobility problems. Do you still manage to get out and about and meet up with friends etc.?

Telly Tue 01-Jan-19 16:31:49

I would just concentrate on building your own life. It does seem as if your sister has not the empathy to be able to act in a caring way. I would imagine that this has always been a trait of hers, but your current situation has brought it to the fore. Some things have to be accepted, sad as it may be.

crazyH Tue 01-Jan-19 21:45:51

You can choose your friends but not your family.
I have a brother who is 91 years old.(5 hour drive away). I wanted to visit him and asked him to suggest a weekend. I said I would stay in a hotel. He was not at all keen on the idea. Obviously not keen to see me ...no fall out, nothing. But I suppose the sibling love is not there. Sad, but that's how it goes. My 3 AC live in the same town, but it's very rare that they meet up. Fact of life in some families.