Sis - in - law

Could you say you are going to be out?
Or if you really can’t stop her coming arrange for a friend to ring/drop round/pick you up after a minimum acceptable time (to you)-OK 45 seconds!
Other than that I would let your DH cope with her on his own and if he can’t stand her either he might back you up next time!

Your husband should be tackling this as it’s his sister. But maybe Coronavirus will bring about a remedy.

Thankyou @ MawB! Great suggestion. I will definitely use that, I think. However, I don’t really want her in my home if I’m not there.

Ha ha @SueDonim! ?? Although I don’t wish her any ill.

My husband won’t tackle it. He’s a bit of a woose.

The very best thing about my divorce was losing my sister-in-law! OK, it’s a bit drastic, but ........

Please don’t put up with this. Show her and your husband this post. If your husband finds it hard to deal with, he’ll probably be grateful you do. You’re just enabling her, and it’s not fair on on any of you. Good luck?

If she is rude to your face try the 'Pardon?' technique and make her repeat the rude comment and once you have made her repeat it twice say'that's what I thought you said but I assumed I'd misheard' and smile sweetly. Disarm her. Dont worry what she says to others they will know what she is like.

Life is just too short to tolerate people like this who make you feel angry, upset etc If your husband won’t deal with her, tell him you will. It’s irrelevant if she is family or not, she just has no right to inflict her nastiness on you. Your life is a garden, start weeding, and tell her the reasons why you will no longer tolerate her behaviour.

When I feel my darling family have stayed long enough after lunch I say I have to take the dog out. It gives me some peace and quiet and when I return they are usually packing to go.

I echo endlesstrife. A reasonable and sensible first step.
If she contacts you again after that, cough and snuffle a lot and use this appalling virus as an excuse to keep her at bay for a while. Even if she is brick thick, she surely would not want to chance catching it......
Thereafter, just say NO!!

Be upfront and tell her she is not welcome at your home and ask your dh to stand by your decision .
I had a sil and did just that.
She apologised many years later but I still don`t bother with her.

I despair,, dh deal with your sister.. or else!

Presumably you let them in to your home? Firstly you must prep DH & if she turns up uninvited at your door waiting to come in, you both are ready with these strategies: you are just going out (shopping, cinema, going for drive/walk to blow cobwebs away); you or DH have awful headaches; stomach upset; feel sick; both got temperatures ..... etc. etc. The key to these sorts of people is to stop them in their tracks with your changed behaviour/tactics/strategies. It may take a couple of goes, but once you’ve done it, you will gain confidence to kick her into touch. Deep breath and get the equilibrium back in your life. It’s in your hands. Good luck.

I agree with others. If your SiL (and family) turn up unannounced, do not let them in. Be going out, sick, etc, as advised by GNs here. Or could you simply not answer the door?

Not sure how old you are or whether you are in a 'vulnerable' category with regard sto Corona virus but this could be a very good reason for not wanting anyone in your house - not even family! You could ring them and let them know before the next visit and say you have a 'self-imposed isolation strategy. Have you tried speaking with your brother about this?

Your SiL is a bully. I think it's time to take the gloves off (pardon the topical pun) and perhaps have a quiet but forceful word with her on your own. Using all the other tactics isn't working and if she's going to be around for the rest of your lives, time to take action before the situation begins to affect your health. Why is it proving difficult to distance yourself? This means you're letting her control you. Take back control. It's your life and as we are all aware at this moment in time, it can be very,very short indeed. Happy Sunday.

Have your coat on ready to be out of the house---even if you pop on a bus to the next stop or brusquely jump into the car and start the engine, move and leave her standing there.

I do this when/if JW's knock. ( Jehova's Witnesses )
I had the Mormons last week, so was stumped

I like Anrol 's comment. If that is beyond you - what would she find totally boring/enraging - take it up as a hobby activity and insist on getting her actively involved! She will soon stop enjoying your company. I'm just astounded by her brass neck!!!

EllanVannin ‘the coat’ is a tactic my mother deployed when I was a child. If there was an unexpected knock at the door my mother would pop her coat on to answer it; if the caller was welcome my mother had ‘just got home’, if not she would smile and say, ‘sorry, I’m just on my way out’.

Londonwifi, life is too short to have nasty, scheming, unpleasant, fake, gossipy (your words) people in it.
Stop allowing this person to affect your life so much, stop being so polite, if that is what is stopping you.
Ring her up and tell her that you have decided that you really don't have a lot in common and quite honestly, you don't particularly like her, so not to bother calling again, as you won't be allowing her in.
Don't wait for an answer, just put phone down, leaving her mouth agape.
Tell husband he can do what he wants but she's never allowed near you, ever again.
Just do it and breathe a sigh of relief.

I do like the sound of the coat technique - just brilliant!
Why do you have to see this horrible person, relative or not? Does your DH love her?

I have known plenty of people who remove themselves from a scene they don't enjoy. It is far more honest IMO.
DH will quietly remove himself, if the person who calls is not to his liking. I sometimes have to go in search of him when it's time to say goodbye.

Have something imperative to do, at all times, so you don't have to be part of the scene. An urgent phone call, a neighbour who needs you urgently. Tell them where the kettle is.

Use the CV virus as an excuse. Anything until they get the message.

If I was in your position, if she turned up I’d say no you are not coming in my home, you show me no respect, spreading lies, why would you even think you are welcome in my home, I do think your DH should also say the same thing, it sounds as though she’s a very unhappy person and obviously has issues! She has no regard for you and sounds horrendous, you don’t need it and nor should you entertain any of this, it doesn’t matter wether family or not, you are the weakest link goodbye!!!!

Print out this post and send it first class to her. See how she likes it.
Oh and before you do that ensure your OH reads it.