Racist friends

That's your problem Minty, not mine.

Whatever EV. I can't see what you don't write. Boulder off elsewhere luv.

I thought that FarNorth. Weird. Given that one of them used to know my daughter well.

Gee thanks, and here's me thinking you were well educated. That's blown that right out of the water hasn't it ?

I would let it blow over. If they were terrorists or child molesters best to drop them.

You can revise your opinions of your friends while forgiving their intellectual shortcomings.

As if I'm worried what you think! Manners cost nothing as I'm sure your mother told you. No need to be rude to Ooopminty either.

If you're rude to people, they will respond in kind.

Being racist is now an “intellectual shortcoming”?

I guess it is really though Summerlove. It's nonsensical, thinking a bit of melanin can cause major inferiorities.

I found that comment very crass too EV and you can't very well say "it doesn't matter what colour people are" and then "I have a black friend" without sounding a bit daft honestly. Also, not a nice tone in general with no understanding for a very upsetting problem.

Gagajo, I guess I’d have described it more as a moral short coming.

You can’t choose your intelligence, you can choose to act morally

So many on here seem so quick to take offence.
Jeez.

"I a black friend" ...and?? What is your point?

"It doesn't matter what colour you are!!"...well it does if the colour of your skin/the sound of your name statistically makes you less likely to get interviewed/appointed to a job than an equally qualified/experienced white person (just one example).

Plus a persons skin colour is part of them; how rude to just ignore it!!!!

I see you’ve already responded to them but I was going to suggest you reply with ‘Did you mean to send me racist emails?’ or maybe ‘Has your account been hacked, I’ve had some racist emails from your address?’

I suppose you have to wait and see what their reply to you is, whether they’re prepared to learn from this or whether you think they’re beyond redemption. If they’re unapologetic, then I don’t see that you can continue having any meaningful relationship. It’ll always be the elephant in the room.

Oh he saw my reply. I said 'Why are you sending me this racist rubbish?' He read it and didn't reply.

The other was was also a bloke (both older men). He's ex military but is quite left wing, veggie etc, so I was shocked. I responded in more detail to him, making clear I support his viewpoint of military veterans etc. He also hasn't replied.

I can tell you now that there's none better than an educated black person. I've met them and they're a pleasure to be with and certainly not ignorant in any way. Chinese, Japanese the same, a delight.

EllenVannin, I'm sure you mean well, but this statement directly contradicts the one where you claim to see people as people, rather than representatives of a race. You are grouping people together on racial grounds, and it is palpable nonsense. Not all people from any 'race', or background are going to be 'a delight' - people are, as you say, people with all their foibles, regardless of race. Some will be delightful, and others ignorant, whatever their ethnic origin.

Gagajo, I don't think I could continue to be friends with people if I knew them to be racist. It's not so much a difference of opinion as a difference of morality (I think that may be a quote from something, but it sums up my point of view).

I can be friends with people who vote differently, who practice religions of all kinds (I don't), and who have different lifestyles from mine, but I draw the line at bigotry and discrimination of all kinds. I just couldn't respect someone who was racist, and if I didn't respect them I couldn't be a friend.

I might not cut them out altogether if we'd been friends for years, but it would be an 'occasional coffee' type of relationship where we talked about trivialities, rather than a genuinely friendly one with real conversations.

What I would like to know for sure is IF the sad case of George Floyd was actually racist OR just an evil policeman who would have done the same no matter what the race? How do we know?

Am not in favour of mass hysterical protests without knowing the full facts. Yes you will all shout me down but not convinced this is purely racist. I stand to be corrected but there are a thousands of police officers in america of all different colours and nationalities. Lots of different colours in positions of authority? Yes, in years gone by America WAS very prejudiced but not so sure it still holds now? The officers involved with the sad death of George Floyd should be prosecuted and rightly so but ...was it just because he was black? That is what I can't accept. They were just bastards.

Have a look at the statistics about black men in the US in this BBC article and then think about whether they are treated equally Valerie. www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-52877678

If no contrition is forthcoming, Gagjo I think they need to be off your Xmas card and every other list.

ValerieF I can’t believe your post
* Yes, in years gone by America WAS very prejudiced but not so sure it still holds now? *

I can’t answer you I get so cross at such pure ignorance of facts
HE WAS KILLED BECAUSE. HE WAS BLACK AS ARE THOUSANDS OF OTHERS ( and this goes for U.K. too)

Please start reading some accounts, start watching some programmes Please please start to educate yourself on this subject because your statement is one of the most shocking
I ve heard for a long time

I notice the colour of people’s skin. I notice if people are fat, thin, beautiful , ugly, tall and small, happy, sad... I could go on and on.

Just because one notices it doesn’t mean one is racist, thinnest or fattest. It just means one is observant.

If your friends knew about your family for years and had a good relationship with you and your family , how can they be rascist? I am not rascist but do not agree with the demonstrations or the title BLM. All lives matter, I also do not agree with the demo as too many people gathered in a pandemic, it turned violent, what right have they to throw statues into the water. So if someone has to agree with something they think wrong you are better off going your own way, I was surprised at one friend turning on me because of these demo's I won't ever see her again, because I feel she is the rascist one, she wants everything destroyed, yo erase all trace. What next protests against the properties of mill owners that sent little children under looms at 4/5. Children up chimneys? Slavery was a disgusting thing to happen no one could ever condone such barbarity, it was then not now. Many, many awful things have happened in the past but we learn and move on. After these statues that are considered offensive, what next, the properties connected with them. What about the persecution of Catholics, their homes were taken should those there now give them back? What about churches and cathedrals? So yes, if you believe in all that, perhaps you were never friends.

This is a complex subject. It's perfectly possible to accept people for who they are, whatever their race; and yet still have political views which are regarded as racist.

With regard to the question raised by ValerieF as to whether the death of George Floyd was racist or not, here’s an article from CNN www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/06/08/us/us-police-floyd-protests-country-comparisons-intl/index.html
It shows that compared to other similarly developed countries, the USA has far higher rates of arrest, imprisonment, deaths in custody, shootings of suspects etc. African Americans are disproportionately affected by all these things.

So yes it is a racism problem, but it’s also a police brutality problem.

Sorry, but how on earth can you remain friends with people who do not share your political leanings or views on race? Surely these two aspects of their personalilties are too important for you to gloss over?

We had a very racist friend, who's " jokes" and remarks over time got more and more vile. I couldn't tolerate it. I used to challenge him, but he couldn't enter into debate and just became obnoxious. In the end, I wondered why we were "friends" at all and we distanced ourselves and eventually dropped him. We have a multiracial family now, and he showed no respect for that or any one else down our road. Much as he had many other great traits, it was the one thing I couldn't put up with.

It's taught.
When my daughter was at nursery, she was trying to describe one of the little girls in her class who was her friend. Everything from her hair, her pretty bracelet, the colour of her coat etc. In desperation, I said just point her out tomorrow. The little girl was the only coloured child at the nursery!
This tells me all I need to know.

People who are racist are usually bigoted in other ways. It is extremely unlikely that they will see your point of view, so you either accept that's how they are, or move on.