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(42 Posts)
KarenR Sat 22-May-21 19:08:02

How has it been for you?
It’s been a disaster really for me. My husband put lots of pressure on me to perform and was always dissatisfied with me. It caused a huge problem in our relationship.
I’ve become aware that other people have different experiences with sex. Is it just younger men who are focused on their women? I feel so much sadness that this joy wasn’t mine.

MerylStreep Mon 03-Jan-22 17:28:37

I doubt if Karen is watching. The OP was posted in May

Hetty58 Mon 03-Jan-22 17:31:19

KarenR, I can't imagine no pleasure for 42 years - two life sentences! I've always held the view that if somebody wants sex - it's up to them to get me in the mood. Your husband is obviously rubbish at that. Time to get a decent lover?

Nannashirlz Fri 14-Jan-22 14:16:33

Well all I can say is knocking you down won’t help your sex life. I would say to him well if you were that good I’d be much better lol. Seriously thou don’t stay with someone if you not happy plenty more fish in the ocean. Just waiting for mine to bite lol

yggdrasil Fri 14-Jan-22 15:16:15

Get yourself a friend-with-benefits. No commitment, just a bit of fun.

Or tell him you have converted to polyamory grin

PinkCosmos Fri 14-Jan-22 15:27:36

I think that men (or whatever age) can become lazy and don't make the same effort once the novelty has worn off. It is easy to blame the woman when, in truth, they can't be bothered to 'make love' anymore. It just becomes a physical act then.

I would hate to feel under pressure to 'perform'. there would nothing more off putting.

I am not sure about the advice to read the Kama Sutra and play games etc. To me this would make the whole thing seemed forced and just being done for the sake of it.

Esspee Fri 14-Jan-22 15:35:11

This thread is from May last year.

Pammie1 Fri 14-Jan-22 15:37:33

It takes two to Tango, so please stop blaming yourself - some couples are just incompatible that way. You say you’ve been together 42 years - does that mean that your relationship has been successful in other ways ? Are you happy generally ?

BlueBelle Fri 14-Jan-22 16:18:58

Another OLD thread being revitalised why do people do this
NanaShirlz did you hunt for any sexual threads ???

jillold Wed 26-Jan-22 11:18:14

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

eazybee Wed 26-Jan-22 14:10:32

If you are reading this, Karen R., you need to tell him he hasn't pleased you; don't feel guilt because he tells you you haven't pleased him. How ungentlemanly.
If you are still having any sort of relationship make it clear he is responsible for this situation, and ask what is he going to do about it.
As is said: "she said I was a rotten lover. How could she tell in two minutes?"

Esspee Wed 26-Jan-22 14:15:48

This is a zombie thread.

MerylStreep Wed 26-Jan-22 14:20:25

Esspee
Let’s see how many keep posting ?

TheOtherCatsMother Sun 30-Jan-22 19:37:29

Sadly you are not alone. Did your husband satisfy you? Or on reflection do you think he was covering up for his own inadequacies?

Mine was very vanilla and I wasn't sad when it finally petered out earlier on in the marriage.

Elizabeth27 Sun 30-Jan-22 20:32:03

Why does it matter if a thread is old? Some people haven’t read an old thread or they want to talk about something that has already been spoken about.

I have seen threads about a subject where someone will post that there is already a thread about it.

Audi10 Wed 02-Feb-22 22:25:51

Your husband doesn’t sound very nice I’m afraid, and no it’s not just the younger men that focus on their women, 42 years is a very long time to be unhappy with your sex life, I think I’d have moved on from him if it was me, he’s not very respectful to your feelings

Desiree Tue 08-Feb-22 21:16:19

I am 65, married 41 years , haven’t desired sex for years
But it is high on husbands agenda
When his “performance” began to fail, about mid sixties , I said “let it go , it’s ok, we don’t need it, but he turned to viagra which dismays me
I feel such a failure that I want to leave the marriage, I don’t see what is wrong with letting sex go at 65