gillybob
Hi Tim
My husband and I have a 10 year age gap that didn't seem to matter all those years ago when we got together.
We run our own (struggling) engineering business (employing 5 other people) and planned that he would work until he was 70 (daunting I know) until I was able to retire at 60 when we would both draw our state pensions. We knew that we would have to live a fairly frugal lifestyle but even this is looking impossible as goal posts have been changed dramatically now and it appears that I will be at least 67 before I can draw my pension. Fools that we are, we have ploughed everything we have into the business, downsized our home etc. and exhausted all other options. There is no way on this earth my husband could keep up this level of work until he is 77 years old but we have a mortgage and bills to pay.
I know I am probably asking the impossible but wonder if you can offer any advice whatsoever.
Hi gillybob
That’s a cracker of a question!
My book in fact deals with areas like what I called Enlightened Thrift, but you seem to be dealing with Enforced Thrift! Big time.
But the same rules apply. However difficult things are – and you look be operating at a level that is little short of heroic – always remember that all the important things in life have no monetary value.
Friendship, love, caring, kindness, humour, going for walks, music, generosity, courage, enthusiasm – all have a human, rather than a financial value. They are what is important in life. Remember Dorothy Parker’s telling phrase, “you can tell what God thinks of money by the people he gives it to”. I don’t underestimate the pain that a shortage of money brings – I have had the odd challenge myself – but I do know keeping a perspective of what true poverty is in the grand scheme of things is important.
I also understand the responsibility you feel not just to each other, but your five employees. Again, I’ve been there. However it ends up, the crucial thing to remember in the years ahead, is that you acted honourably. Hopefully, whatever happens, you both have decades of life ahead of you, and it is crucial that these years are blessed with a feeling of pride in having done the right things, rather than shame in not having done so.
And please don’t regret remortgaging your house (you call yourself fools for having done so). It was a brave act, and could have come off, and has provided you both, and your five staff, with meaningful employment. Engineering is something the country needs more of, in terms of skills and experience, and as such is a very worthwhile industry to work in.
With the age gap between you and your husband, the changes in government pension policy have obviously conspired against you. Your husband is presumably already, or near to, drawing his pension (for what it’s worth in the context you are operating in).
You will no doubt have gone through all the changes you can make to how you operate your business to make it more profitable. But it may still be worth getting a fresh pair of eyes in to take a look. Talking to someone at Business in the Community may lead to a free mentor – a retired engineer in your area of work, for example, who could give a fresh perspective, and perhaps some useful contacts, or people to talk to. If they can’t help, ask them if they know anyone who could. Most people are only too keen to help and support, given the chance.
Importantly, you and your husband will need to be open to advice. In your position it is all too easy to believe you have already explored all possible avenues of action, and there are no solutions out there. This is very understandable, but you both may need to steel yourself to listen. There may be something that helps improve your situation – even if it is just introducing you to a potential client, who may be looking for just what you have to offer.
It is crucial not to let go of hope. There may be things you can do to improve things – even if it is just putting your home on Airbnb to help pay the mortgage, or hiring your engineering works out as a film set from time to time.
Go for it, and very good luck.