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He's gone and i'm lost

(81 Posts)
Sheridan112 Sat 14-Nov-15 19:35:27

I'm doing what I do every Saturday, I'm counting the hours down until a particular time on a Saturday night. It's the time my partner died. It's been a some months now but I can't stop doing it. I can't get past the fact that he knew he was dying and could do nothing about it. He must have thought off these days when he would not be here and I am now living them. I have really tried to remember the wonderful times and there were so many years of them but I can't get past the months of watching him die and being bloody angry it. The family have been great, keeping me busy with grandchildren and the like but when asked how I am I can't keeping saying no, I'm lost and without him by my side life has lost sparkle.

millymouge Thu 29-Sep-16 15:37:56

I am in tears sitting here and reading what some of you have gone through and how incredibly brave you are. I always pray that when the time comes DH goes before me because I couldn't bear to think of him being on his own, I know the children would look after him but it's just not the same. We will have been married for 52 years next month. I'm now going to give him a cuddle and tell him how incredibly lucky I am to have him. I send love to you all.

Penstemmon Thu 29-Sep-16 16:20:34

Sheridan please accept my condolences. You are quite understandably in the midst of huge grief. I hope that you find some support , maybe through CRUSE or other counselling, to help you manage you loss. it is dreadful to watch a deterioration of a loved one and OK to be sad and angry about what has happened. You will never 'get over' your loss and I think it is OK to say that to family. You will always miss him dreadfully but you know eventually the loss won't be as raw as it is now. Take care flowers

Barmyoldbat Thu 29-Sep-16 17:34:07

Sheridan and Ana, I am so sorry for your loss, I can't give any advice as I don't know how I would cope if it was me.

Crafting Thu 29-Sep-16 20:38:03

sheridan and pam so very sorry for you both and all who are grieving ((huggs))

grannypiper Fri 30-Sep-16 15:31:06

Sheridan, whatever you do is NORMAL, please remember that, Im sure it will get a bit easier every week, instead of dreading Saturdays, why dont you pour yourself a cuppa and sit down at "the time" and say hello our remember a moment of your life together, enjoy your tea and tell your DH "same time next week darling" and make it your moment.Will be thinking about you tomorrow and i will raise a cup of tea to you both.