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Son-in-law's behaviour in my home

(53 Posts)
cassandra264 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:12:14

I have a decent, hard-working SIL who, with my daughter, always makes me (and my partner of 12 years standing) welcome and comfortable when we visit them. This is infrequently, as we live the other side of the country; but when we do get together it is usually for several days at a time. They live near to all his family.

The problem is that when he stays with us he treats our home as his,and expects to dictate how things should be done.Without asking,he pulls up our blinds,opens and shuts windows,tells my partner what he can and cannot watch on TV with a four year old in the house (this is when the child is asleep in bed);and though they are on holiday with us, and we do everything in the kitchen/housekeeping generally to give them a break, he expects us to keep to as strict a timetable as though he was still at work and we were his employees; hassling us if we are even five minutes later than he wants leaving to visit a local park.My daughter will tell him to stop worrying on occasion; and I do not want to make waves.We want them to have a happy time, especially as his family can see so much more of my only, wonderful grandchild (they have three, and all live locally). But it is a relief when he goes! Suggestions please.

JackieBee1 Mon 05-Sep-16 17:38:47

This phrase worries me: " He also gives her equal freedom..." it's not his to give! I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is worrying. Unfortunately, as I know only too well, the offspring have to sort it out for themselves, and we have to standby and pick up the pieces as/if and when.
Stay strong and do what You want to do, don't pander to him.

Elegran Mon 05-Sep-16 19:27:39

And thinks himself very generous to be giving it, doubtless!