Depression 2

You are not being a misery at all! What are friends for if not to offload to? You have had a basinful to cope with and I just hope help, intervention and just life in general will help you to get back to your old self very soon

Mishap ((((hugs))))

Mishap The only way is up, and you will get there. Meanwhile keep unloading on here.
I don't have any helpful experience, except that my dd thought she was dying for the first couple of weeks on her anti-depressant.
((hugs))

I think Ffin is right - write it all down for the CPN - s/he will appreciate it - and your GP - and keep a copy yourself. You've been up against one hell of a lot over the last few years, it's no wonder you're a bit broke. It'll help them understand the cause of your depression and how to get you back up again.

You've been coping with a lot, mishap. A psych once told me that when we have to deal with a lot it's like shaking a bottle of lemonade. The pressure builds and builds until the bottle blows and the lemonade spurts out. The same is happening to you atm but it will settle.

Your cpn will talk to you but more importantly she'll listen.

I know you feel terrible atm but try to imagine you're in a tunnel with a bend in it. You're gradually making your way to the bend and when you get there you'll begin to see the light again.

Mishap I always feel that when someone goes through what you have recently it is like mourning for the life you had before it all happened. You really miss the life you lived before when you were fit and active and it is almost like a bereavement ,you feel you will never get it back. I hope that doesn't sound over dramatic but that is my feeling and you may have to adjust to doing things differently but you will do them. Good wishes to you for an improvement soon.

PS my DH sees a new CPN tomorrow ,we only saw the last one once. Par for the course I feel.

Thank you for your kind messages.

Yesterday was truly dreadful - I did not even get dressed. I had started the dosulepin (which I think will be the right anti-depressant as I have tolerated it before as an IBS and migraine preventer) but in conjunction with the beta-blocker it left me virtually comatose - I truly could barely stand up. I did not take it last night as I am going to the heart clinic this morning and would not have been able to get there if I was in yesterday's state. However, I am going to talk to them about some drug to control the heart without making me more depressed (which I really do think the beta-blockers are doing) or making me so drowsy when taken with the dosulepin.

My DD is coming with me and will back me up and try and get across the urgency of doing something about all this. Finding something to make me better that does no worsen the heart problem is the first step.

I am struggling so much with permanent nausea which seems to be a large feature of this illness for me - I cannot tell you how it drags me down. I need to ask them about something I might be able to take for that as well - all the drugs my GP knows say not for people with heart arrythmias. I seem to be in a catch 22 whichever way I turn; but with my DD's backing I hope to try and get some answers this morning.

I do hope they can give you hope for a resolution.

Please be open (as you have on here) and frank about how you feel to your DD and Dr. Don't hint at your feelings, tell them straight. You need them to be in no doubt how you feel so that they can appreciate he urgency.

Things WILL turn around, but you need professional help.

Same message from me, Mishap. The doctors need to weigh up the effect this is having on you. Everyone knows about the power of feeling positive in helping the body to recover. I hope today brings some better news for you.

So sorry you are feeling so bad, Mishap. I have been so concerned with my own health concerns recently that I have not been able to think of others. hope you are feeling better soon, I have no experience of depression medication but I do understand that some medicines can react with others to make you feel very ill, so maybe they can sort out something. Please try to have a lovely Christmas.

the other day I was walking in the shopping centre and met a distant cousin who was always very bouncy and full of fun, a regular comedian and I always felt a bit irritated with him, having not seen him for a year we had a little chat and I was gobsmacked to see how he had changed. He has depression and lost his job while off sick, he was dressed in an old mans type of clothes, looked a bit down and out, he has no money and spends his time trawling the bargain shops all day. He hugged me and put his head on my shoulder and he was almost in tears. I did not know what to say, he said a tearful goodbye, so if this is what depression does to people I feel so sorry for them. I felt so helpless.
Be thinking of you mishap over the coming weeks.

Mishap sorry that you're so low.

I'm currently on dosulepin too, and find it I take it at night, I feel dreadful the next day. After a while of trial and error, I found that the best time for me to take it is around 6pm.

Mr P teases me about Pavlov's dog syndrome, as the moment I hear the 6 o'clock "bongs* on Radio 4, I head straight to the cupboard.

I hope something can be sorted out for you Mishap. Sorry you are feeling so low.

-The hospital visit went well today. I had an echocardiogram which was, as I expected, normal.

I then spent some time with a very nice specialist cardiac nurse who grasped the situation straight away, realised how urgent it is to get on top of the depression and accepted the fact that I seem to be ultra-sensitive to medications of one sort or another. She demonstrated this by the fact that last night I took only the tiniest dose of beta-blocker, but my heart rate was very slow indeed.

She was reassuring about the AF, saying that it is not uncommon for the trauma of major surgery to cause this, but it is usually a one-off.
The SVT (the other funny heart rhythm) was less easy to explain, but she said it was reassuring that I am able to find ways of stopping it, even though it is a blessed nuisance when it wakes you from sleep all night. However, she thought that as it settles, I should be able to manage without the beta-blocker and that she would look at a regime of tailing that off whilst introducing the dosulepin gradually.

What was so good was that she cottoned on to the fact that I am desperate to get some ant--depressant treatment on the go - she is going to discuss it all with one of the cardiologists this afternoon and ring me back with his suggestions. I am so glad that she did not say to come back in x weeks or whatever - she realised that I need treating now.

I know that the dosulepin is likely to work for me, but had been concerned by my GP's assertion that it cannot be taken if you have an arrhythmia. It will be good to get a definitive answer to this, so that hopefully I can move forward. Your comment about dosulepin phoenix tallies with mine - I too found that taking it at night gave me side effects the next day, but that, for me, taking it at about 7 - 8pm worked out well - I seemed to sleep through the max side effect period and wake up OK.

So fingers crossed - I will wait and see what she has to say later.

Thank you for all your supportive messages; and special thanks to ethel for finding the time to help me when you have so very much on your plate at present.

You sound a lot more positive Mishap. I think sometimes we just need someone who seems to understand. Hopefully things will improve for you now.

That's really good that the hospital visit went well Mishap, and I do hope things are beginning to improve for you. ((((Hugs)))) sent your way!

Great to hear that you are getting the attention needed now. Let's hope that this is the light at the end of the tunnel. (I won't mention trains coming the other way) (DOH, I mentioned it !)

I can't comment on dosulepin (I take fluoxetine), but it not unusual to get side effects when first taking anti depressants, these ease of and disappear quite quickly. These are strong mood changing drugs, you must expect some odd effects for a while.

Is the beta blocker the first med they've tried for your AF? It think they're quite notorious for making people feel unwell, when I was first put on meds for my AF the cardiologist said that he wasn't going to use a beta blocker because it would hinder my ability to exercise. I'm on Diltiazem for rate control, and the rhythm control was Flecainide, but it's now Amiodarone. Did I see you mention that you have fibrosis, is that from Amiodarone? Have they offered you an ablation?

I have had a call back from the cardiac nurse - she has discussed it with the cardiologist and the advice is that treating the depression is the main priority at the moment and that the cardiologist is happy with the use of dosulepin. The suggestions are two; either:

- take a lower dose of the beta-blocker and gradually build up the dosulepin alongside it.
- risk not taking the beta-blocker and build up the dosulepin alone.

They suggest I try one of these options for a while and reconsider if I am getting lots of arrhythmia problems. And there does not seem to be huge concern about me getting SVT, especially as I am able to abort it pretty quickly.

At least I have a plan now - I just have to suck it and see. Fingers crossed.

Good luck Mishap I do hope whichever solution you choose, works asap!

That all sounds more positive Mishap

Hope your feeling a little better this morning mishap

I'm a bit spaced out this morning - but maybe that is not a bad place to be under the circumstances!

What I find hard is being unable to plan anything - I have just had a flier telling me that my favourite baritone Roderick Williams is coming to perform near here on 22nd January. Normally I would jump at this chance; but at present I do not feel confident that I will be well enough to go - I find this pretty tough as it is a measure of where I am at present. Do I buy a ticket as an act of faith? - or is setting targets too much pressure?