narcissistic man

I’d be heading for the hills, I’m afraid. He’s already shown you who he is and is unlikely ever to change.

I think you know the answer don’t you ?

The label doesn't matter.
What does is that your expectations don't match.

He sounds like a lot of older, single men, to me.

No, no, no, no, no and No.

I would not have anything more to do with him as he has shown you these unpleasant traits, very tight with money and hardly ever taking you out, still talking about his ex-wife etc. He also should have shown some concern when you weren't well so I wouldn't give him another thought to be honest.
Hope you can move on from this man and find someone you deserve, or enjoy time with friends and family instead.

In 17 months you have only been out together twice and each time you went Dutch? He’s only in it for the sex. I wonder what he does on Fridays and Saturdays? Do not go back to him. If he harasses you or stalks you call the police.

RUN! You have made the right decision to end this relationship. The sentence in your OP that says it all to me is
^ He saw nothing unusual about this^ Narcissists never do. Their needs and actions are paramount and they don't see why anyone should question that. Don't weaken because he will never change. Look after yourself instead.

I don't think 17 months is long enough to expect someone to change their life, and his sounds very comfortable, for him.

He sounds selfish though.

I don't think that this man is a narcissist but as MissAs posted labels don't matter. His apparent inability to get over his ex wife would be a big enough red flag for me.

You've ended the relationship, so leave it there.

I've been where you are now. I was an idiot and kept going back.
Please take care and stay firmly away from this man. He will not make you happy.
I hope he doesn't stalk you. If so, write each event down and then tell the police.
You deserve better than this. Move on and I hope you find happiness soon.

I've no idea what a narcissist really is/does - other than reading people's thoughts here, and I doubt most are capable to diagnose. However I know who sounds like an awful partner: this man.

Be done, a great physical relationship is not enough. Stay far away.

He sounds like a real catch faringdon59 you deserve better . Take suedonim's advice and run for the hills.

run for the hills and find a toy boy for occasional pleasure.

Read your post again it’s negative throughout so best let this man go he is not for you obviously.

What a catch !!

You’ve ended it. Stick with that decision.

I don't think he is a narcissist but he doesn't sound as if he cherishes you and wants to please you.. He sounds a bit of a user.. and clearly enjoys having his ex's in his life still.. as GSM said I wonder what he does with his time away from you..

When someone shows you who they are - believe them. Do not go back.

You do not need to label somebody just because he isn’t right for you. Move on and forget about him, it was not a happy relationship.

Let me get this straight. In seventeen months, you see one another on Sundays and Wednesdays for sex and a sleepover but have only been out in public together twice?

Do you even know where he is when he is not visiting his adult children? Have you never had a long weekend away together or a holiday? In seventeen months? What do you do on your's and his birthdays? Where does he spend Christmas and other public holidays?

I agree. Attempting amateur psychology to explain his behaviour isn’t going to provide an explanation.

Unless you are happy with the status quo, happy being his Sunday and Wednesday side-piece, (because if he is a narc, they always have one) then you need to get out permanently and close down all avenues of communication.

He won’t like it. He will come back time and time again trying to lovebomb you into getting what he wants but it’s all for his benefit. Narcs cannot be alone. They are immensely insecure and need constant attention. Cut him off permanently and he’ll be straight back to the dating site lining up his next conquest if he hasn’t already done so.

He's not narcissistic he's just not that keen I'm afraid. Move on

Leave it there, you are not missing much.

I agree with @BlueBelle. You already know the answer, Run for the hills.

Discussing previous relationships is a killer, my now husband asked me once why I divorced my ex, I replied “ I havn’t had a cuddle for 10 yrs” - “OK we can put that right”. No further discussion has taken place, that’s the way it should be, you must move on.