I was brought up with love but with definite boundaries that I knew I must not cross. Occasionally there would be a quick smack if I stepped out of line badly, but this didn't happen often. When I had my own children, I was quite strict with them. My eldest daughter has a daughter of almost 12. She's been very difficult to bring up, and I think this is mainly because too many choices were given. My daughter also didn't do much of her own parenting, returning to work very quickly after the birth and leaving the parenting to her sister and then a childminder. My son-in-law had had sons to a previous marriage, but they're now in their 20's. I feel that my granddaughter didn't know what boundaries she had. Her behaviour was terrible at times, having screaming tantrums right up until the last couple of years. This never did happen when she stayed with me, though it did when she stayed with her other grandma. One day when she was about 9, I was taking her and another little girl out in the car. She said to the other little girl, "You must sit very still and make sure that you don't touch your seatbelt buckle. This is a VERY STRICT GRANDMA!" We have a really good relationship, but she knows where she is with me!