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AIBU I being over pics

(48 Posts)
Grumpyoldwoman Tue 23-Aug-11 12:41:33

my daughter gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl at 12.30 am. We are so thrilled.
I have looked after her other 3 children (one a 22mth old) since Sunday morning as well as my disabled husband.) I haven't slept for more than a couple of hrs in 2 nights I have been so worried about my daughter)
I also tidied their house before we left. I have made a whole weeks meals for their freezer in the past week, also hours & hours of ironing.
I also brought 6 loads of washing back with me which is all done.

so am i being too sensitive to be upset about my SIL posting the first pictures of Martha at a few minutes old on public facebook without sending them by email or private message for us to see first. I am really upset by this ...but then you don't know our SIL !!! He is a lazy, ungrateful, insensitive ass !! (the whole family think the same as do a lot of our daughters friends.

I would do anything for my D and GC but SIL seemsto think it is my 'duty'

elderflower1 Tue 23-Aug-11 22:06:33

Don't get me started on thoughtless SILs. I would have been hurt too. Congratulations on the new gd. Your son in law does not know how lucky he is to have such a fantastic MIL.

Faye Tue 23-Aug-11 23:13:18

Your SIL is thoughtless, you are a great MIL and he should be grateful. How lucky your daughter is to have you. It is nice to be appreciated but put it out of your mind and enjoy your new granddaughter.

Grumpyoldwoman Tue 23-Aug-11 23:39:33

I guessed right ..I heard they were on their way home through pic was posted of Martha in her 'ready to go home' outfit.

This was at 9pm tonight and I have heard nothing since 2pm ...tried to phone their house several times but no answer.

ah well .c'est la vie.
Hope to see them tomorrow !!!

glassortwo Tue 23-Aug-11 23:59:58

grumpy get yourself to bed you must be worn out and have a good rest and you will feel much better in the morning. You need all your strength for cuddling that gorgeous bundle.

yogagran Wed 24-Aug-11 23:16:12

Hello Grumpyoldwoman - do tell us whether you got to see them. I hope so x

maxgran Thu 25-Aug-11 14:55:20

I think I would have been upset too but at the same time know/accept it wasn't done to upset me really. You probably feel unappreciated, quite rightly so really, but seeing as your SiL is a known lazy, ungrateful,insensitive ass - just remember what you have done was invaluable for your daughter & Grandchildren.
BTW - it is definitely NOT your 'duty' - its HIS duty to take care of his wife and children,.. so make sure yu remind him - whenever you can, and often !

HildaW Thu 25-Aug-11 15:38:05

Grumpy.....think you need a big hug m'dear. All this impersonal social networking is fast taking over from proper relationships with some folks and I can see it all ending in tears. Your SIL sounds a right numpty so you'll just have to smile sweetly and bite your tongue for the moment. Dont let it spoil the happiness of a safe delivery of a granddaughter. Perhaps when the dust is settled you and your daughter can have a bit of a chat about how you feel and between you both you can draw up some basic rules about what you are happy to do. There needs be nothing unpleasant about it....she just needs reminding that Grannies run out of steam a bit....we aren't getting any younger after all. I wish you all the best.

NanaAnna Thu 25-Aug-11 16:19:32

They just make us feel unappreciated don't they? I'm currently avoiding my daughter and son-in-law as I'm SICK TO DEATH of being taken for granted. I know they want me to have the baby overnight on Sunday but it will do them good to sweat it a bit! wink Have a glass wine, put your feet up and chill.

Congrats on the new arrival incidently x

johanna Thu 25-Aug-11 20:20:58

Yes, HildaW, it WILL all end in tears.
And to Grumpy, Many Congratulations. Martha is a beautiful name.

With regard to your SIL, maybe he is not so insensitive.....after all. He is very aware of the love you have for your daughter and her children, and is using that to his advantage.
Therefore you will just have to go with the flow, because you cannot change this dynamic, unless you are suddenly going to stop loving your family.
Well, that is not going to happen is it.?
Good luck, and Congrats again.

Grumpyoldwoman Thu 25-Aug-11 20:31:59

Thank you for all your lovely comments and support.
My daughter realised on her own that he had been insensitive and was so lovely when she phoned as they got home.
I went to see wee Martha Helen yesterday afternoon and broke down when I held her ...she is the image of Maggie ( the baby who was stillborn). She is gorgeous and has her eyes open most of the time...frightened of missing anything. You would swear she has been here before !!!
SIL always has been and always will be a prat..but he is a good daddy and loves the very bones of Jane.

I don't get out much due to my husbands illness so don't get to see my friends very much...You don't know how much it means to me to have you lovely ladies to talk to and consider you my friends.
Joining GN was one of my best decisions. xxxxx
Now for a wine or maybe wine wine !!

em Thu 25-Aug-11 20:35:30

Grumpy I sense real relief in that post and am so pleased that you now sound like a happy new Gran. Off to pour a glass of Shiraz to toast you and your girls!

Grumpyoldwoman Thu 25-Aug-11 21:29:24

awww Thanks Em xxxx

GrannyTunnocks Thu 25-Aug-11 21:37:37

I also agree. Congratulations on your new gd. Young people are thoughtless and use fb for everything.

Libradi Thu 25-Aug-11 21:40:31

So pleased that you have had a cuddle with your new GD Grumpy,your SIL may be a prat but I suppose you can forgive him a bit if he loves your daughter so much and is a good daddy.

yogagran Thu 25-Aug-11 21:43:55

Gow it sounds as though you have a very thoughtful and lovely DD. Take pleasure and pride in that and enjoy your time with her and your new GD. Congratulations wine

Sbagran Thu 25-Aug-11 21:58:44

Oh Grumpy I do feel for you - it seems the more you do for the 'younguns' nowadays the more they expect! I am sure that no harm was meant but men just don't think do they. (Would help if they had a brain!)
No doubt SIL was delighted and excited after the birth and did what they all do first (before breathing I believe!) - got onto the social networking sites!
My sons both 'do' facebook and so many times I have had news of one son from the other and then discover that he only heard through facebook. What the appeal of spilling your guts on a public internet site is, is totally beyond me and it appears nothing is secret these days.
Forget what happened, have a medicinal wine, get some well deserved sleep and enjoy your darling new grandchild. Your daughter should be so grateful for your help and if she knew it had upset you would no doubt be mortified so take it with a pinch of salt and get lots of cuddles and get burping that baby! (Nobody burps a baby like us Grandmas!)
God bless you and all you family

Grumpyoldwoman Thu 25-Aug-11 22:03:46

Thank you Sbagran....

funny you should say that about burping ...thats what both my daughters with babies have said ...Nana can always get wind up.!!

Bless you lovely people xxx

jogginggirl Thu 25-Aug-11 22:11:09

Oh grumpy - I had a real lump in my throat after I read your posts x. I really hope you enjoy your lovely and precious new grand-daughter xx Men eh......?

maxgran Fri 26-Aug-11 09:38:31

I think many younger people nowadays announce everything on facebook - Its quick and it gets to lots of people. They can do it from their phone. I reckon your SiL would have done so automatically, with excitement.
I see most of whats going on in my son's life through facebook !
SO glad you were so happy to see and hold your new GD !!

If no one else treats you - go and treat yourself now - You deserve it !

afar Tue 30-Aug-11 16:35:37

Have you not seen the baby and as such not had a chance to take your own photos? I don't think its anything to get upset about - the thought probably didn't even cross his mind. Or maybe he thinks everybody should share in the joy and doest think that you should get special priority. Or maybe he thought he would cover all his bases just in case anybody got offended?What if his mom found out you got photos before her?- don't think he was doing it on purpose..

harrigran Tue 30-Aug-11 22:25:26

Sorry afar but I think he knew very well what he was doing. Pound to a penny his mother got a personal photo.

afar Wed 31-Aug-11 06:49:52

In retrospect you're probably right about a photo to his mom.....still, rather don't say anything. You don't want to jeopardize being able to see and babysit....
Enjoy your new grandbaby...