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Own room for grandaughter at our house.

(52 Posts)
justrolljanet Sun 29-Apr-12 10:48:46

We are fortunate to be able to look after our grandaughter for 1 day a week while her mum goes to work, am I being unreasonableto think that it is ok for her to have her own room here with toys, travel cot and some emergency spare clothes etc

MrsJamJam Sun 29-Apr-12 10:54:29

I would have thought that was entirely sensible. Our GC don't come so often but we have a big box of toys (charity shops are good for these), high chair, baby dishes and cutlery, cot, car seat etc.etc. Saves the parents having to cart so much stuff about.

justrolljanet Sun 29-Apr-12 11:01:44

that is what I thought Mrsjamjam, it seems though that one of her parents isn't happy about it, I have now thought myself into thinking I must be some kind of fruitcake...........wanders of and sits in a corner with the good granny guide sad

glammanana Sun 29-Apr-12 11:01:57

When we lived in the big family house we always had a room for the DGCs with a cot (then a bed) all the other bits and bobs that come with little ones a baby box full of creams and calpol etc.We even brought out the family pram and had a shed load of garden toys when they got a bit bigger,mr.glamma used to say "how much stuff does one little person need" but I enjoyed the time as they grow up so so fast.

Mishap Sun 29-Apr-12 11:11:06

We have all the kit for wee ones here - from a cot to nappy cream; and a spare pushchair to baby food; high chair to nappies - only makes sense, as they are here so often.
WE do not have a room dedicated to the babes, but the spare room has the cot etc in it.
It sounds to me as if there is another agenda here, as the practical aspects are indisputable. Maybe the parent with the problem is afraid of you "taking over" - I am sure you wouldn't, but maybe you need to take every opportunity to make sure that this misunderstanding cannot arise, by praising their parenting etc.

Annobel Sun 29-Apr-12 11:16:09

Surely if they trust you to take care of their daughter for one day a week, they should trust your judgement in giving her her own space for that day. Some jealousy there, I suspect.

Notsogrand Sun 29-Apr-12 11:16:34

I have all the bits and bobs here for visiting just makes sense.

justrolljanet Sun 29-Apr-12 11:18:02

Thank you mishap you share my thoughts, I do try my hardest to make sure they know I am to old and decrepid to do the wonderful fulltime job of babycare these days, it takes me and Mrjustroll to look after her for one day and it still leaves us shattered smile, They go to work and bring up a beautiful baby, something that I never had to do, I dont know where they get the energy !

imjingl Sun 29-Apr-12 11:32:24

"wanders of and sits in a corner with the good granny guide sad" Lol grin

Don't bother with that. wink

gracesmum Sun 29-Apr-12 11:38:34

I often wonder how DD and SIL have the energy to do what they do then I remember they are 24+ years younger than me and actually, all those years ago (with three) I was similarly always on the go. I was also 3 stone lighter, there a connection?hmm

Re the "room"- excellent idea, lots of GPs I know including DD's MIL have the same arrangement (in her case for her own DDs daughters who used to spend every Tueday with her before they went to scchool ) Not sure where the parents is coming from on this. We have the high chair and one travel cot plus the beginnings of a toy and book collection, in little bedroom, but I think your GD would love having her own "room" at Granny's

whenim64 Sun 29-Apr-12 11:54:11

It all depends on how much they are at your own house. I have two sets of twin grandchildren, so it's often easier for me to go there. However, the other grandmother is just a few doors away and she intends to look after our baby grandaughters for 3 days a week when my daughter finishes maternity leave, so she's busy gathering equipment (I help out) and my daughter and SIL can easily whizz over there without taking loads of stuff along.

When my older grandchildren visit, I have a toy drawer, another cupboard with a huge variety of toys and games for all ages, a dog (most important!) and spare beds.

If tiny children were in my sole care for a full day a week, I would have plenty of equipment here to save it all being ferried up and down.

harrigran Sun 29-Apr-12 12:20:56

I have a bedroom for GD too complete with blackout curtains and Princess duvet. I have cot sides for the bed too so that younger ones feel safe. We have crates of toys in the bedroom but a favourite cuddly usually arrives with them.

tanith Sun 29-Apr-12 13:07:34

I've never had specific equipment in the house for the grands, and if they sleepover they use the spare room. I have craft items, games and books but as for giving them a room of their own , no that's not necessary in my opinion if its only for one day a week or the occasional sleepover.. but each to their own if you feel its necessary and have a room you can dedicate to them then its not unreasonable... Perhaps the parent that's not keen thinks you are expecting more time than they are prepared to give with the grandchild. If its going to cause bad feeling then I'd take a step back and not make a big fuss about 'the room' there's nothing stopping you having clothes, equipment etc just don't make a great big deal about it.

Sbagran Sun 29-Apr-12 13:57:12

I have two GC belonging to DD who are now 14 and 8 - and I still have their 'emergency box' of spare clothes plus sleeping bags for when they stay over.
DS has now given us two GDs (2yrs and a baby 6m).
They haven't stayed over yet but came to stay with me for the day when Mummy and Daddy moved house - Mummy and Daddy had packed the double buggy (silly Mummy and Daddy!) sad so we couldn't go walkabout and when 2yr old had a little accident as she needed a wee at the very same moment that I was nappy changing baby, I discovered that there were no spare pants or clothing in the bag!
I now have an emergency box for these two as well and both sets of parents are delighted that they don't have to bring a trailer load of equipment - they can just dump them! They all love the different toys that we keep here.
I even got a double buggy from a lovely lady on Ebay! We haven't got a spare room but it would be great if we did!
Justroll I feel the parents should be grateful for the efforts you are making to keep their child safe and happy and I hope it can be sorted for you.

kittylester Sun 29-Apr-12 14:30:22

When I two youngest daughters presented us with grandchildren #5 & #6 we knocked two ingle rooms into one and put in 2 single beds, 2 rollaway beds and a travelcot. Luckily we haven't had them all full at any one time yet! We have a couple of shelves of children's books in there and two plastic boxes of toys with plenty more in the roof to come yet! We have stair gates, a high chair, cups plates and special cutlery too! It makes coming to stay with Ma and Pa an adventure so they are quite happy to come.

I suggest you give it time, they will see the sense in your method eventually!

Anagram Sun 29-Apr-12 14:39:22

I agree. In a year or two they'll be so glad she's got her own room at your house, janet!

goldengirl Sun 29-Apr-12 14:48:13

My GD considers our 'dumping ground' to be her room and goes there when she wants to be on her own away from her brother. It has a bed settee which she uses when she comes to stay. It doesn't bother her that it has other uses. Our dining room has been taken over by toys and my hope of having it solely as a dining room have long gone to pot. I feel proud that she and her brother feel at home with us. Go for it.
We do have clothes but looking at them recently they're must too small now for the older ones! We also have a chair so the babies can join us at the table and a travel cot. In fact I think we've got as much stuff as the parents grin

POGS Sun 29-Apr-12 15:46:48

I think it is absolutely fine. I don't understand why it would not be. All you are doing is providing love and showing her she is cared for. It also makes sense if you have the space to provide a room as I am sure you will have sleepovers. Your granddaughter is lucky to have such a caring nanny and grandpy and I think you are probably getting a lot of love back from her.

The time will soon come when you don't see her because she has grown up. I bet she will always look back and remember when she was given so much love and affection from you and HER bedroom will hopefully hold many happy memories.

Charlotta Sun 29-Apr-12 16:05:32

Of course its alright for the GCs to have a room at Nan's. I have room with twin beds for mine and there are a few well-loved dolls and Teddies there including the ancient one MIL had for my girls. Then for the older ones boxes of Playmobil and Lego. It could be that your GD says she is looking forward to going and the parents got a bit jealous.
If she is to come one day a week then where would she have a nap?

jack Sun 29-Apr-12 16:52:31

Life was all over the place for our grandson when he was tiny as his parents had a volatile relationship and DD frequently ended up asking us to look after him - and often sought refuge with us as well.

We responded by turning one spare room into a nursery, complete with jolly glowing stickers on the walls, a nightlight, a travel cot (and later a single bed) and child-friendly duvet covers and matching curtains. At one stage (when things had gone from bad to very bad) we turned the dining room into a sitting room for DGS and DD and reinstated the latter in her old bedroom.

Mercifully the marriage did not last, although DD tried to make it work by having a second child (!), but this has always been a second home for our daughter and the grandchildren and when the GCs are here and we have visitors they always insist on showing people "their" rooms - even though the stickers and nightlights have gone and everything's now very Farrow & Ball and two of our spare bedrooms have become serious studies, complete with favourite teddies!

Thank goodness we didn't downsize. If you can afford to maintain a flexible house long after the children have left home it can be a lifeline both for them and their children - so don't buy that two bedroom "luxury" flat just yet.

Ariadne Sun 29-Apr-12 18:03:17

My GC all live at some distance from us. Our smallest spare room is hot pink, with bunk beds, Polly Pockets, Barbies, spare pants and so on. We have 3 grand daughters, 6, 8, and 16 and it is still referred to by the younger ones as "Poppy's room". (She is the much admired 16 year old cousin of the other two.)

And she insists it is hers too, while quite happy for the littlies to share it.

DGS has another spare room, which is not pink, but he thinks of it as his.

And as I have been decluttering, I have been stopped in my tracks by "Nannie, where are the bunnies that always live on my bookshelf?" (Bunnies quickly retrieved from charity bag!)

Now that we are moving "Nannie, what will my room be like?"

So for them it is a given, but they don't live down the road. Nevertheless, I think it is practical and rather lovely for GC, no matter where they live, to have another place where they feel totally secure. And where better than at GPs

PatB Sun 29-Apr-12 18:58:44

I'm with almost everyone else here.

My granddaughters are 3, 2 and 8 months (the 2 year old is the cousin of the other 2, who are sisters) and only visit about 6 times a year but we have always had stuff for them here (including travel cot, high chair, buggie, spare clothes, nappies (and now potty and toilet seat!), toys and even a "microwave" sterilizer, bottles and baby milk) and are constantly aquiring loads of age-appropriate toys and books (thanks mostly to Freecycle, car boot sales and charity shops). Even though our spare room is tiny (it just takes a full size single bed) we've been trying to work out how to get bunk beds plus a fold up bed in so they can all stay at the same time when the eldest can go in a top bunk!

Having another "home" is great for everyone. Heaven forbid it ever being necessary but in an emergency a second real home could be a lifesaver for both parents and children.

jack Sun 29-Apr-12 19:01:38

Where better indeed, Ariadne? It's the secure safety blanket that grandparents can provide that is so reassuring for children. I hope you'll be able to give the GCs a special little corner when you move. Good luck. smile

artygran Sun 29-Apr-12 19:01:48

Our 5 year old GS got quite upset that we were selling our house, so we promised him that when we moved that he could have his own bedroom and gave him a packing box to put some of his toys in for the removal men to take. He shows visitors "his room". I love his sense of ownership - I just wish he was a bit tidier!

Ariadne Sun 29-Apr-12 19:24:04

Oh yes, jack! We're not downsizing.

Grandpa (DH) has been heard to remark, grinning, ""it is ridiculous to take the needs of an 8 year old into account when we're house hunting. But we have to, a bit, don't we?" Bless him.