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hello .. and help!

(97 Posts)
bobbi Sat 30-Jun-12 15:39:51

Hello I'm new to this site, so please forgive me if I'm posting in the wrong forum.
Does anyone now of a site I can access for advice on anxiety, stress, loneliness etc?
I feel that I'm going to burst if I don't talk to someone soon.

Sorry to be a misery on my first post - but I'm feeling really out of sorts at the moment. sad

jeni Sun 01-Jul-12 22:08:26

Go and talk to GP. This is sounding on what you are saying like an anxiety state.
Easily treated with CBT or some people use medication.
Go to your doc.
Don't try self medication

Annika Sun 01-Jul-12 22:18:24

bobb As someone who has been through the menopause I some times felt as if I were 'going bonkers' . Added to this my DH had been made reduntant and then two days later my dad passed away.
I thought I would never get my life back on track, indeed some days I did not want to get up in the morning.
But just as each day seemed like one hard struggle, things got a little better.
What I am trying to say is , you are not alone with this , we are always here for you.
We all understand the menopause ( well perhaps not all I believe we have some younger ones on here and that includes you !) and most of us knows about empty nest syndrome sad.
You are not going bonkers !!!! Its just life , it doesn't come with a rule book so we have to make it up as we go along. smile

j04 Sun 01-Jul-12 22:20:17

Sorry, I have to disagree about Bach Flower remedies. There is NOTHING in them that can have any effect whatsoever. They are a huge con. You will be wasting your money.

I would advise talking to your doctor. A short course of fluoxetine could possibly help you over this 'patch'.

whenim64 Sun 01-Jul-12 22:22:04

Do listen to jeni' please bobbi. What you describe can be helped very easily, and when your anxiety is under control, you'll be in a better place for reflecting on what you need to talk through with friends, a counsellor, or whomever you feel can be helpful smile

jeni Sun 01-Jul-12 22:27:37

Well said!

Annika Sun 01-Jul-12 22:39:55

Yes bobbi I word to your GP is the right way to start to get your life back.

j04 Sun 01-Jul-12 22:45:49

Depression and anxiety often go hand in hand.

bikergran Sun 01-Jul-12 22:58:13

bobbi just spotted your thread before I flop into bed..
hello and welcome to gransnet, I can only repeat what others have said and once you have entered gransnet you will feel a warmth like a big soft fluffy blanket being wrapped around you by people who you may never meet but are very very caring smile don't be afraid of offending anyone , we have big ears and broad shoulders smile take care.

glassortwo Sun 01-Jul-12 23:16:39

Hello bobbi welcome to GN, always someone about if you want to pop in and have a chat.

You come on here and have a winge if you want, its does help, not one person on here would criticise you. I am in my 50's and going through the menopause and at times I also feel as if I am loosing my marbles or going bonkers and that I have turned into a someone else, so I know some of what your feeling!! If you feel it would help and want to chat please pm me. flowers

shysal Mon 02-Jul-12 09:30:12

bobbi I advise you to take notice of jeni, she is a doctor. My daughter suffered severe anxiety at this time last year and at first struggled on with over-the-counter remedies. Eventually she saw her GP who was wonderful, putting her on medication for quick relief of symptoms as well as for long term benefit. She still takes a low dose of anti-depressant which, apart from an odd wobble, has worked wonders. Councelling was immediately offered and she does meditation when she feels the need. She likes to know there is action she can take for herself, so that she is in control.
Gransnetters were a great support to me when I posted to ask for advice on how to help.
Take care of yourself, hope to hear you are feeling more positive soon. flowers sunshine

Ella46 Mon 02-Jul-12 09:46:42

I agree that Flower remedies are not helpful but jeni is right. You have nothing to lose by seeing your GP again. That is what they are there for,to help you feel better.
smile We are all bonkers on here grin

AlisonMA Mon 02-Jul-12 09:53:09

bobbi stop that Kalms please. Some people are very susceptable to even a small amount of some drugs and it sounds as if you have already discovered the link here.

I suspect your MOT at the docs did not include any thyroid investigations and, if they didn't, perhaps you could go back and ask for one. As when says, you do seem to have some of the sympoms of hyperthyroidism which can be very distressing. Doctors often prescribe antidepressants to people who have unrecognised thyroid problems which of course don't work

Do feel you can whinge as much as you like on here, you will not be alone and it seems to be a good release for some so go for it.

Elegran Mon 02-Jul-12 10:08:33

bobbi Kalmsmay have "only natural herbs" but herbs can be very potent. Before modern drugs, herbs were used as narcotics, stimulants, abortifacients, everything. I believe Herr Hitler took a lot of Valerian, to the point of addiction, and look what it did to him!

nanaej Mon 02-Jul-12 10:39:09

Hello bobbi just read the thread. Everyone on on here will be rooting for you to feel well again and be working to make you feel better. Visit the GP and hopefully you will soon be feeling less unhappy. I suffered from various vague symptoms and thought I was going potty too because none appeared serious and so I thought I was creating them. Discovered I was not and symptoms are now under control ... but I may still be a bit crazy..but that's normal isn't it? grin Good Luck bobbi

HildaW Mon 02-Jul-12 12:21:19

My anxiety levels get very high and I too felt the old 'wanting to run down the road screaming' feeling ironically coupled with the old menopause linked touch of 'not wanting to leave the house' feeling. Its a real paradox and so many of them can be put down to the body trying to cope with all the changes we go through. My Doctor suggested a course of Stress coping sessions that have helped a little. The main way being that so many of the sensations can be explained by such things as adrenaline levels (fight or flight) feelings. I think I sort of knew this deep down but when its all spelt out it does help it.

You touch on the empty nest syndrone which I found to be a real problem and it strangley does not go away. My girls have been out in the world for a while but I miss their physical prescence so much. I have found that if I can do something useful for someone else - though on low days it can be an effort to do - it really helps. Putting someone else first is so good for the soul. Finding a little pleasure in simple things is also great. We aquired a mad dog who needs long runs in the neighbouring fields. I have to push myself out the door but once dressed suitably I can really feel the benefit when the winds in her ears ans shes chasing invisible rabbits etc etc. Her joy is somehow quite infectious. Am glad you are here bobbi, its miserable thinking what you are going through is just you...its not. So much rubbish is written about menopause in magazines, they all seem to just bang on about hot flushes, when in fact its a whole lot more complicated and so much more individual.

Annobel Mon 02-Jul-12 13:05:08

There are so many things that could explain your symptoms, bobbi that you are sure to find someone on here who can share your concerns or who has overcome them. You evidently haven't been through the menopause yet, so that might be your first suspect; thyroid, since you've already had what you describe as a 'flutter' should be another possibility. In the meantime, I suggest that you avoid anything containing caffeine like the plague because that can magnify sleep problems and anxiety.

Nanban Mon 02-Jul-12 13:12:44

Bobbi - forget how you might seem to the rest of us - let loose and talk away, blow air through your problems the very best of medicines.

bobbi Mon 02-Jul-12 18:59:10

Well, a lot to think about since I last posted.

I think I am going to avoid the Kalms for a while, I was quite sceptical about them working at all but they really knocked me out - so it isn't unrealistic to believe that they are causing the side effects I mentioned either.

I am avoiding going to the Doctors because, although I know it is the right thing to do, I dread going back onto antidepressants again. I know that they can be lifesavers - they certainly were for me in the past - but they turned me into a bit of a zombie, I tried several different types, think the last ones were seroxat, but I was on them for too long, I couldn't function. The problem is I'm beginning to 'not function' now without them. I know the reason for feeling this way is stress as over the last/next few months I have/am/will be going through:

(in no particular order)

moving (Workplace) - fish out of water

Two members of family serving in Afghanistan

DS wedding

Financial difficulties

Empty Nest

Job threatened due to funding issues

M-I-L's long term illness and hospitalisation.

I feel that I have come a long, long way in the last five years - I don't cope with stress very well and I'm scared that I'm going to slip back to where I was before.

I was going to go to the Doctor's today but I just couldn't face the Monday morning crowd of people waiting for their sick notes.

Feel a bit better now I've offloaded a bit.

j04 Mon 02-Jul-12 19:34:58

That's a lot of problems to deal with bobbi. sad I guess a pill from the doc can't work miracles. I have found that my 20 mgs of fluoxetine helps to keep my natural nervousness down, but I don't have the problems to cope with that you do.

Didn't seroxat have a lot of bad press a little while back? I wouldn't want to take anything stronger than the fluoxetine. I used Kalms for sleeping for a while. They helped me to get off to sleep but were useless for staying asleep. My in-ear radio and the World Service works best for that! The worst side effects I got from them was bad dreams.

I hope things look up for you. Don't rule out going back to doc's for something mild. smile

kittylester Mon 02-Jul-12 19:55:28

My son is on long term, low dose Citilopram (sp??) which has helped him come to terms with having a stroke, his wife leaving him and having to live with us but he functions as normal in his circumstances. Please don't dismiss having some help! flowers

whenim64 Mon 02-Jul-12 20:22:15

Citalopram is pretty reliable and commonly prescribed. It can make all the difference, without turning you into a zombie or having nasty side effects. I know quite a few people on Citalopram and they are all pleased at how helpful it has been for them.

Mishap Mon 02-Jul-12 20:24:26

I really do agree that your best bet is to see the doc.
Yo do not have to start on a huge dose of anything - you can start small and build up if GP thinks that medication is right for you.
I live with a man who is very anxious and it is just bad luck - nothing to feel embarrassed about. GP will see this problem all the time and will look at what might best suit you. My OH always starts on a small dose (he is very underweight), gets used to that then adds in some more. And CBT can really be very powerful so do not dismiss this.
Good luck to you - you have a lot on your plate just now and I am not surprised that you are starting to droop a bit. Take all the help on offer.

greenmossgiel Mon 02-Jul-12 20:24:32

bobbi, could you go to your GP and ask to be referred for counselling, perhaps? There are so many worries that are piling up for you, that being able to talk them through with a professional might help you so much. I know that it can take a while to be able to get a referral, but if you could make that first move towards it, then that would be a start?
Kalms did nothing for me when I needed a bit of help that way - and neither did Bach remedies. I had a good few family problems and felt as if I was losing the plot. I wasn't able to concentrate while driving, and had a few near misses. I'd had to keep many of the family problems to myself and this caused me to suffer terrible panic attacks. I wasn't depressed, but I was frantic with anxiety. Being able to talk these problems through with a counsellor really helped me. In the meantime, whatever you decide to do, we'll be here to help in whatever way we can. flowers

nelliedeane Mon 02-Jul-12 21:12:53

bobbi escitoloporam is the anti depressant that I have taken for the last 4 years I function with no problem to my everyday tasks and can say only that I have benefited from taking them and no doubt will be on them permanently as I have suffered from depression for years not knowing what was wrong.

Anagram Mon 02-Jul-12 21:38:12

I suffered badly from panic attacks when my first marriage broke down in the 80s - of course the doc prescribed Valium, at a doseage which made me feel and look like a zombie! I soon realised that I didn't need to take them every day, twice a day - only on the occasions when my anxiety threatened to take control. I found that if a panic attack started, just the act of chewing a valium stopped it in its tracks - how's that for mind over matter?

I think the present-day anti-depressants are much better, but you have to find the right one for you, and that can be a case of trial and error.

BTW I have a similar sleep problem, J04 - dropping off isn't usually too bad, but staying asleep, and getting back to sleep having woken at 4 or 5 a.m. is another matter! sad