Well, I bit the bullet today and took a (long-overdue) trip to the Doctors. I'm so, so glad I took all your advice about doing so. He was absolutely lovely. Prescribed Citalopram (sp?) and explained about anxiety and depression being basically the same illness (as you mentioned j04). I mentioned my fears about taking seroxat and the effects it had on me last time to which he replied that he NEVER prescribes Seroxat.. Hmm? Makes me wonder just what my last Doctor was thinking?
Anyway, I have a really big weekend this weekend so he recommended that I leave it till Monday to start taking them as they can cause Nausea and an 'odd' feeling during the first few days - so I will have to hang on a little while to see if they do the trick.
I feel a bit of a failure for going onto anti-d's again - and (silly I know) for taking the day off. I probably average 1 sick day per year, so I know that this will not be an issue for my employers, but today I felt so awful I knew I had to do something or the situation was going to get out of hand. So, I got up:
Saw the Doctor
Picked up my prescription
Phoned in Sick
Crawled into bed
Spent the morning crying
After about the fifth bout of sobbing - my little dog, laying at the foot of the bed let out a huge, heartfelt sigh - as if to say 'Here she goes again!
I had to admit - that made me smile!
@ Hilda - Over the last few months I have eliminated things that I think may be triggers:
Alcohol
Caffeinne
Thinking or talking about 'trigger' subjects late at night
Soap Operas (would you believe they can even trigger anxiety?)
Late night Metformin (Doctor was NOT impressed - I knew I was being silly, but I told you I was desperate!)
I exercise daily, am reading Fifty Shades of Grey at the moment so that covers the mindless drivel/sleep inducing reading (sorry for those who think it's wonderful!),and apply for any jobs that come up. Unfortunately, I'm competing with youngsters who can be paid less than me. Not a smell of an interview so far.
My main issue is not having anyone to talk to. I am married to the loveliest man in the world, who listens to all my woes and is a real optimist. He truly is my lifesaver, but I feel guilty for burdening him with all my worries all the time, because after all, they are his worries too! He doesn't need me banging on all the time.
Hopefully this medication will work for me and if I can just come on and let off some steam or have a virtual cry on someone's shoulder I think things will be ok.
Bobbi xx