Gransnet forums


hello .. and help!

(97 Posts)
bobbi Sat 30-Jun-12 15:39:51

Hello I'm new to this site, so please forgive me if I'm posting in the wrong forum.
Does anyone now of a site I can access for advice on anxiety, stress, loneliness etc?
I feel that I'm going to burst if I don't talk to someone soon.

Sorry to be a misery on my first post - but I'm feeling really out of sorts at the moment. sad

whenim64 Fri 06-Jul-12 07:14:07

Oh dear, seems Jen is muscling in on threads to promote this.

JessM Fri 06-Jul-12 08:02:09

flagged up to GNQ to monitor. Could get boring. Start your own thread Jen28 this is not well placed. We are talking about stress and anxiety here, not feeling grumpy about the TV

Greatnan Fri 06-Jul-12 08:07:11

I don't suffer from clinical depression, but obviously my daughter's decision to cut me out of her life made me very sad and for several weeks I hardly slept. My way of coping was walking - the sheer physical effort of climbing very steep paths for several hours left me tired enough to sleep - not always at night. The beauty of the views, which stretch for tens of miles from the mountains, is very soothing and somehow makes my own anxieties seem less important.
My other strategy was simply to accept that there is nothing I can do to heal my daughter's drug-damaged mind and to concentrate on my relationships with the rest of my large family and my many friends.
I was depressed after my second baby was born - I don't think it was post-natal, it was just a normal reaction to depressing circumstances. We had moved from Lancashire, where I had a good support network of mother, sister and friends, to Surrey, where I knew nobody and found the locals unfriendly and cliquish. Our mortgage had tripled and we were very hard up. My husband was often away with his work and I had a lively 18-month old and a new baby that cried all the time. I felt I was just getting through each day, rather than enjoying my children. I have never worked out whether my new baby's failure to settle was the cause or the result of my unhappiness. She remained a difficult child who did not make friends. Naturally,being a mother I feel guilty that I might not have paid her enough attention when I was feeling so bad myself.
After 10 months, we moved back to Lancashire and my depression disappeared.
I still remember that awful feeling when I woke with the black cloud over me and how it felt like walking across a ploughed field in gum boots, just to get through the day.
If I ever became clinically depressed, I would not hesitate to ask for medical help even though I am very aware of the dangers of addiction. It took only a couple of days on tramadol for my daughter to become hopelessly addicted, but she had a previous history of amphetamine abuse and bulimia.
Is there such a thing as an addictive personality - the jury seems to be out on that one?

JessM Fri 06-Jul-12 08:10:02

OK - how to find a hypnotherapist. Avoid the people who advertise that they will stop you smoking etc, in the press.
I got mine via personal recommendation


You will see my man in Leighton Buzzard there - he gives you a free hour to decide whether you want to go ahead. Then only a few sessions. (Unlike counselling which can go on a long time)

You might find someone with dual training on: lists people with good counselling training

glammanana Fri 06-Jul-12 09:31:36

Have I not seen jens post somewhere else ?

whenim64 Fri 06-Jul-12 09:34:26

Yes, glamma

j04 Fri 06-Jul-12 09:47:39

Greatnan you are so right about walking being helpful. In the absence of the courage to venture far off the beaten track on my own (I think you are very brave), I make do with urban walking, and my exercise bike.

I know what you mean about waking up under a cloud in the mornings. With me it is a horrible feeling of 'butterflies' all over my chest and stomach!

Luckily the ssri anti-depressants are not addictive in any physical way. I think that is the beauty of them. smile

j04 Fri 06-Jul-12 09:52:24

jen28. Bad idea. hmm

jeni Fri 06-Jul-12 10:31:08

Alternatively contact the British society of medical hypnotherapists

AlisonMA Fri 06-Jul-12 11:29:56

bobbi perhaps you could delete anything from your CV which indicates your age? You don't have to put your age on your CV and if you are old enough to have taken O levels leave that off too. They are not allowed to discriminate on age but they do! Most of what you need to say should be on the front page and you can fudge anything over 10 years ago as it really is not relevant. If you would like to PM me your CV I would be happy to edit it for you and try to make you as saleable as possible.

You are getting masses of help and understanding here but remember it is your depression, not ours and each of us is different. It is useful to hear what others have been through but do remember you are unique!

janerowena Mon 22-Jun-15 12:14:43

DBH has just been prescribed Citalopram, I had a feeling he was due a bout of something. He didn't go to work today, he went straight to the Drs, which is a huge improvement as he has always fought very hard against taking anything. I felt very proud of him. Now I just wanted to be aware of any adverse effects they may have on him before they are fully effective. Nausea... I seem to remember that was what stopped him from taking something years ago. Fingers crossed, though.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Jun-15 12:39:09

He might feel a bit jittery for a week or two, before they have chance to fully start working. If he finds this, encourage him to stick with them. They will help. I don't think he will have much else with them.

Poor old your DH. flowers for him.

annodomini Mon 22-Jun-15 13:20:41

How did this thread get re-opened after three years? There are names here that have been changed perhaps several times and at least one friend no longer with us.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Jun-15 13:36:55

grin I suppose it was easier than starting another thread. No harm done.

janerowena Mon 22-Jun-15 14:52:22

It was the first thread I found when I did a search that had DBH's drug mentioned, with various side effects described. It seemed logical at the time, rather than start a new thread and risk having no-one on the board taking the drug!

He went back to bed when he got home, slept and has now stirred himself to go shopping for nice plant pots, as he received several plants yesterday.

Thanks jings, further up the thread someone mentioned the jittery thing, so I have 'encouraged' him to cut back on his caffeine intake so that caffeine jitters are not confused for anxiety jitters.

If a topic is still relevant to someone, why should it not be re-opened? confused

loopylou Mon 22-Jun-15 16:59:02

I took the same antidepressant at night janer because they made me feel a bit sick if I took them in the morning, it stops once your body gets used to them.
I hope he starts feeling better soon, and glad you posted here as it may help others x

janerowena Mon 22-Jun-15 20:35:31

Thanks lou, if he starts to feel sick I shall suggest that. I have managed to get him off his beloved caffeine and onto decaff - baby steps! grin

It's only taken him fifteen years to realise he needs help. hmm

mrshat Mon 22-Jun-15 20:41:49

I have been taking Citalopram for quite some time now and after an initial 'settling in' period (2-3 weeks) have never had any problems with it. It certainly does the trick! Good luck to your DBH

loopylou Mon 22-Jun-15 20:51:37

It probably took me that long too, the first time. Because no one likes to admit to not coping, we leave it until it becomes overwhelming, sadly.

I've had a couple of less serious bouts since caused by severe stress but, by recognising soon on that I need help, they've resolved quickly with an understanding GP and a course of medication.

He may need to look at what is causing it (if anything) and address that. Mine was work pressures and workplace bullying as well as thinking I was invincible and should be able to cope! grin

Deedaa Mon 22-Jun-15 21:47:10

DH has been on Citalopram for the last 5 years ever since he had a stem cell transplant. He's been on quite a cocktail of drugs since then but the Citalopram doesn't seem to have had any side effects at all.

janerowena Mon 22-Jun-15 23:11:26

I have to say, it does sound good, I do hope it works because he felt like a zombie the first couple he tried, which was why he wouldn't take anything for so many years. Yes, stressful job and taking on too much, getting up at 4.30am in order to catch up with work most mornings yet not able to get to sleep at night because his head was buzzing. Not helped by over 6 of our friends dying over the past 4 years and now MiL and DD are having serious health problems, and FiL grumping over the phone about MiL once or twice a week. You know - the usual family problems just when you have your own!

Lou I think it helps to se so many facebook statuses about depression, in his case. It's given him permission to be ill. It doesn't have the stigma it had not all that many years ago.