mugnanny, my heart goes out to you and will find so much support coming to you from other gransnetters who've suffered the same despair. My daughter estranged herself from us for 7 years, and although she just lived around the corner, it was as if she lived on the other side of the world. She didn't stop her girls coming to see me, and I think they would have come anyway, because they were 11 and 12 at the time. I still don't really know why she felt as she did, but over the weeks prior to the estrangement, she became cooler towards me, then one day she came to the door, yelled at me that I was 'No mother', slapped me and stormed off. All at the front door. It took 7 years of trying to get her back in my life, and during this time, I had to give up for a while, as I knew I was making things worse. Eventually, once she'd had her own grandchild, things softened, and now I visit her. It's still quite fragile and I'm very, very careful not to push myself onto her. I still sent cards to her during this time, though I don't know what happened to them. I can't advise you what to do, but even by sending cards to her and the children with vouchers or something in them will keep you in touch just that wee bit? Be kind to yourself, too. xx