DIL needing advice off a Gran.

Yes he's had many words unfortunatly, none have helped. He's fed up too. If it was due to her being ill then i would total understand..however she's canceled as she's painting her kitchen..
We canceled a few weeks ago to due my blood pressure being too high and i was advised to stay in bed (hard few days that was! :P) and we was told that she only gets to see her once a week and she misses her..so we asked her to come down in the week instead and she 'couldnt make it'

My husband is very quiet. He doesnt like confrontation at all and would rather just let it go. He said she's allways been 'like this' and he's just use to it now.
It annoys me as i've never met a person like her before and i don't understand her.
If it was the other way round, and we canaceled alot, it would be different.

It may indeed be periods but not every month. Mine were so irregular at that time that I would have a week on and flooding (every hour is nothing. I had a caravan holiday with DH and three children and had to retire to the tiny loo three times while cooking one meal) then a week without, another week on then six weeks without. And if it is an early menopause the problems may be greater. If she is able to talk to you about periods at all surely she can take more questions about the details.

Hmm, if she's that mixed up maybe there really is a problem in her life that she's not coping with very well. If you can, I think it would be best to 'sit it out' – be as patient as you can. If she phones you to cancel, perhaps you could say you're sorry she's not feeling well and you hope she feels better soon, but don't sound upset or cross. If she's playing some game with you, your getting upset about it will only encourage her.

What about your OH? Is he involved in any of this?

She could be menopausal at 42 (I was), but it usually comes quite a bit later. Redhead is your OH able to communicate with her to tell her that you are finding things pretty difficult at the moment and would appreciate some consideration?

We arn't that close . So i think it'll be a little weird if i just bought something like that into conversation.
I can understand, but shes managed to see her step children today. I remember the 2 solid months of bleeding after having my daughter, so i do understand if it is that, but its not every month..and she does complain that she doesn't see her enough anf wants to see her more...yet cancels alot.
I just don't get it. She'll say one thing, yet does another.

We didn't tell her..then for a few weeks she came down when arranged so we started telling her...then bam, shes cancelling again.
Im just going to leave it as a 'supprise' now.

And thank you!

I guess it is possible she is in the peri-menopause and having heavy, flooding periods. Happens to a lot of us before the darn things start to wind down. For a year or so they are like niagara, having to change tampons and a mega-pad once an hour on the first day or two. Bath towel on the bed at night.
Why don't you ask her whether they are causing a problem at the moment?

PS I hope the last few weeks of your pregnancy go well, and the birth

I think it would be advisable not to tell your daughter about planned visits. Just wait till they happen, then at least the little one won't be disappointed if her gran cancels.