cut out of thier lives 2

Thank you Celebgran I can't tell you how good it is to have you and Yogagirl to unburden myself too.

Glad visit with the doctor went well. I was on beta blockers a few years ago now and they really helped. Stress is an awful thing to cope with day in and day out and manifests itself in all sorts of ways.

No need to apologise silly, I was burbling on about me before you came on line. and thanks for your kindness and support.

Sorry smiless burbling on about me so sorry you feeling low about coping on return you will I promise just hard this time year yoga giro and me here for support!
When we came back from India last Xmas I felt stronger so here's hoping you will too

Smiless the doctor was so lovely ! So kind first thing he did was shake hand and say please meet me! Amazing. He explained after examining me wait for it viral infection so no treatment! Took b pressure told him about situ ref daughter briefly he thinks stress can make me. Breathless got go back after my heart scan on 19th reckons add a beta blocker try lower blood pressure and calm me.

Suggested hubby go to a nature reserve on his own so I could have a couple of hours to myself and give myself a good talking too. We've been living with this awful sit. for over a year now, so it's not as if I don't know what we're going back to, because I do. A little stronger and calmer (most days) than I used to be so I WILL BE ABLE TO COPE. Any way, what's the alternative? . Eventually I managed to calm down; only took about 5 hours .

I'll get my hubby to go on that site and make a protest. I don't want to run the risk of seeing any awful pics.

Hope your doctors appointment goes ok Celebgran The age gap thing is a coincidence isn't it? I wonder why it never occurred to either of us to go for toy boys . Only joking of course; wouldn't swap my old man for anything.

for all of us for being so accomplished.

Going to try and enjoy may last few days, hopefully with no more panic attacks. Holiday nearly over and all good things must come to an end as they say.

Never thought that would apply to the relationship I once had with my S though

Have a good day every one

Smiless that's coincidence! Age gap thingy, Been frazzling day what with bank and ringing talk talk query on mobile grrrrrrr I was not up to it cough coughing snappy with poor husband!

Walked to shop wrapped up but did not feel good.

Glad seeing doctor Tom.

Yeah thanks yogagirl surprised myself by getting distinction in anatomy and physiology also good grades in other subjects well done smileless on ou degree reckon I would like to have done that. I only did sociology and psychology at gc se level.

Oh yogagirl have seen those o. F book horrid few weeks ago. Disgraceful.
Joined oh on f book not sure good idea!
God bless and sleep well both of you x x

Hello Girls
Well done Smileless on your degree, 5yrs is a long time to study, but good achievement and well worth all the hard work. And you Celebgran on all your studies. I too studied anatomy, physiology,nutrition, sports injuries and loads more for my Yoga Diploma, It was hard, I said at the time, if I don't pass I reckon I can go on and become a Doctor!(not really of course).
My ND is coming round in a mo. she has heard from my S, so hope its good news, fear it wont be!
I've been really upset, in fact traumatized, by the awful news about what they do in China to dogs, its beyond evil, so unbelievable cruel, I signed the petition to stop what they are doing, if you can sign it too and share, but be warned, don't look at the pics as they are sickening, the one I saw popped up on my Face Book, so I'd seen it before I had a chance to look away. The petition is on 'change.org/petition' but don't look at the pics. I've had them in my head for a week now, and it's made me feel really ill, poor little dogs, they do it to cats as well!!! Sorry to share that, but its so much on my mind this week.

Meditation sounds like a good idea Yogagirl does it help in times of stress to meditate? Obviously a lot healthier than too much coffee and the occasional cigarette! Oh, so you're not a call girl then That did make me laugh, not because I thought you were of course but because you thought that may be that's what we thought!

Relieved and pleased in equal measure that you're not leaving .

My hubby 8 years older than me Celebgran I have a degree in sociology, don't do any thing with it just wanted to see if I was clever enough to get a degree. Took 5 years of study with the OU but well worth it. Graduated with a 2.1. Occasionally think about doing a Masters but very expensive and don't know if I could be as disciplined as I used to be.

Like you, I miss regular days at work. Do the accounts for our business from home so I guess I'm semi retired although on bad days I feel as if I'm semi retarded!

Hope your appointment on Thursday goes OK.

Sleep well.

Yogagirl that sounds really interesting ! Would love to learn more about meditation hope class goes well.

Evening Girls
I'm not leaving Celebgran and Smileless just need to get a few of my mornings back to study time.
Sorry you're so unwell with flu Celebgran, at least you have a nice hubby to look after you. Sad cruise story, it happens to us all, one way or another. Good luck with your heart scan on the 19th, you can at least look forward to your buffet and Xmas day with your Son . I haven't heard from mine. He is up in Aberdeen at the mo., it's 1` up there, so I'll bet his cold.
Well you've told us what you do Celebgran so.., I'm a full time Yoga Teacher, so I like to study philosophy, mediation and of course asana most days. This whole year I haven't done much new stuff, which I need to do, so that I don't get boring and repetitive, for me as much as for my students, so Xmas I must really get some new material, to share in the New year!
I teach during the day, evening and w/e's, so that's why I sometimes say; 'I'm on here quick between my work' I was thinking 'I hope they don't think I'm a call girl or the like' lol, but then I would be a bit old for that .
Must dash, got a class in an hour. xx

Nosy me what are you studying yogagirl ? I know younsaidnself employed so wondered what you do also sorry if being too nosey!

My oh is 10 years older tha. Me so he only works one day week and I studied anatomy and physiology and trained to be massage therapist, I also did beauty therapy year this all kicked off.

Miss regular days at work as it does take your mind off other stuff!

Thanks smileless oh taken Car to work and not sure will get anti biotic but may go tomorrow if have another bad night! Have appt Thursday anyway to see unknown locum about blood pressure.

Oh got my appt for heart scan through today 19th dec. so that's good.

Of course you mustn't let any thing affect your studies Yogagirl but don't stop coming on this forum all together. AsCelebgran says we would miss you . Having so much heart ache to deal with is bound to make studying difficult, frankly I'm amased you can study at all with all you've been and are going through. Some days I just can't concentrate on any thing at all.

It's no good Celebgran, you really should see some one about that cough (nag, nag). Being unwell does make us even more weepy doesn't it; is your oh feeling any better?

It's great that your S will be with you for Christmas. I've invited my mum, bro and 3 friends round on Christmas Day and we will go to our friends on Boxing Day. Last Christmas was so awful even though we spent the day with lovely S, d.i.l. and her family. Thought that a house full and doing something totally different would make this one a bit easier.

Fingers crossed that you get a positive response from your S Yogagirl

Have a good day every one and thank you Yogagirl and Celebgran for your kind words.

Sorry yogagirl unrighteousness we do need each other more than ever. I am bit impatient and up and down think reducing hrt not helping. I do have. A very good husband can be irritating but of course so can I!! Feel awful for getting cross sat she. He has waited on me hand and foot last 2 days!

Had invite for owing day buffet get together with daughters godmother so that will be lovely and our son here Xmas day can't be bad.

Hope you get positive response from your son yogagirl.

Don't disappear yogagirl we shall miss you!

Still feeling horrid bad night. Oh work today so just surfaced to make drink he got me cereal and cuppa bless and a paper!

It was achey ness that kept me awake that and painful cough. My chest is so wheezy keeps me awake!

Oh got me paracetamol and cuppa at 5pm which did trick.

Smileless my heart too goes out to you. I have had longer and have embarrassed myself we were on cruise couple years ago lovely group on table asked usual question anyway I started to tell them we knew about 2nd babe then and the tears came. So embarrassing but they were lovely and understanding. One couple had similar thing happen to them.

Am very tearful at moment due to being ill I expect remember when daughter was pregnant with our beloved mollie she was very ill with flu and asked come stay hem with us. That made me cry thinking of it!

Smileless enjoy rest hol sadly we will have our tearful times but who knows one day it may come right it has done for one lady on here keep hope alive.

Morning Girls
Smileless my heart goes out to you, that's how I and all on here feel. Im glad you had a good time at Magic kingdom, I couldn't go, for the reason you put above.
Second year without my beloveds it's become the norm! I've invited everyone for Xmas 'Do' on the Friday after Xmas, sent a round robin, included my S, yet to check my emails to see if any response from him.
I've been trying to wean myself off coming on here every morning, but here I am . Before all this, early morning was my study time, this has effected my work, as I've hardly studied for a year now and I think it shows, so I must get back to studying in the mornings again, plan to do a lot over the Xmas lol. Pause for chat with my ND

Hope you and oh felt better by the end of the day Celebgran. We did have a lovely day all the magic was there just missing one s and one gs Coped really well until the tram ride back to car.

Two gprents, one mum a little girl got on in front of us and she was chattering away calling grandad 'papa (I didn't catch his name) and that was it. Before he was born, S, horrid d.i.l., hubby and I chose the names we wanted our gs to call us when he was older; hubby's was 'papa .....' Hit me like a train, tap was turned on and tears started to flow. Thank goodness they didn't see me or they'd have thought I was insane.

I suddenly realised that not only don't we know what he looks like now, we don't know the sound of his little voice, and he is old enough now to call us by the names the four of us had agreed on, if he'd only be given the opportunity of knowing who we are.

Hubby says the magic of 'Magic Kingdom' is he arrives with plenty of cash and it magically disappears before he leaves!

Sleep well every one

Off to the 'Magic Kingdom' today Hubby has decided not to just drop me off - didn't think he would . Going to see if dreams really do come true there; well that's what the ads. say!

Hope you're all OK and have a good day.

Sounds like your cough is getting worse Celebgran don't ignore it for too long before considering going to your doctor. Good to hear that your oh has been looking after you, bless him.

We are always bright and cheerful when we speak to our S in Aus. I sometimes wonder if we do too good a job and he wonders why we are doing as well as we appear to be. When all this started hubby told him that he didn't want them falling out over it as his bro. may need him one day.

I understand why you worry about your ND having contact with her sister Yogagirl. My S and awful d.i.l. we feel tried really hard to turn our other S to the dark side, but ultimately failed. She sounds like a very level headed and loving young lady so try not to worry. She could at least, as she says then be in a position to let your D know that despite all that has happened you are there for her, ready and waiting.

Shame you couldn't face the Xmas market but quite understandable after Friday. Sounds like the time spent with your lovely D was just what you needed. This will be our second Christmas without our S and gs. How many more will we have to endure I wonder.

to hope you feel better soon Celebgran and for you and your ND Yogagirl

Your bit about your hubby did make me laugh Smileless

Oh dear Celebgran so sorry to hear you have had a tiff with your oh, unfortunately this is going to happen as you are both emotional about your D, you must try not to let this situ. effect your marriage, you need each other more than ever now. 5th Xmas, that's terrible! I have lots of photo's up of my D + GC, it was suggested I take them down, but I wont. Hope your painful cough gets better quickly, that's the trouble with being freelance, like me, if you don't work you don't get paid, so can't be ill, especially me on my own.
This will be my second Xmas without them , I'm thinking that I will never see them again. My nice D is thinking she may try to make contact with her sister just b4 the New year, next she says she wont. she doesn't wont anything to do with him (s.i.l) or his family, so I said 'that will be difficult'. I also said, they will for sure wage a campaign to turn you away from me. So for that, I'm feeling a bit afraid if she does. But my ND says, that if she re-connects with my D, she will be able to subtly say that we are both here for her if she needs us, then if D did want to leave him, she would know she'd have us to support her, where as now she may think we wouldn't help after all that's happened.
Oh dear Smileless you too! It's bitter sweet to see video's and photo's, but you're lucky you have some video, my camcorder got sand in it just b4 Laila was born, I bought another and I took it to Laila's birth then gave it to my D to keep. Ages later, I asked my D for the camcorder so we could get the films off, she had lost all the leads in her move. I got photo's from it but can't find the video! I'll have to take it to a video shop and see if they can find it. I bought yet another one, but just after all this happened. I do waffle don't I
My nice D and I have grown closer during all this heartache (we were close b4 though), but I am aware I mustn't swamp her. I should have met up with friends after my work this morning, to go to an Xmas Market and then for lunch, but I couldn't face it after Friday, so my ND and I went to a lovely park with swans and then lunch overlooking the sea, I always feel better when I've spoken to her, so I can imagine how you must feel when You don't get through to your S to talk to him, or their too busy to chat.

So hooray smiless I can understand so much how you feel sometimes if ring. My son and he is multi tasking or one of his stepsons need him it hurts as he is all we got and is hard for them to begin put I that position.

I have horrid painful cough so oh been looking after me struggled go to carol concert rotary one annual but glad get back was worried I would go into painful coughing bout !

Does not look like will be able go to my client tomorrow. Is daughter godmother she has several treatments oh well can't be helped.

Must been painful seeing that video I still have pictures of my darling mollie on display but am unable see ones of my daughter bravely put one up of her with mollie and my late father I. Law only time she visited him but when found out about baby had to take it down!

. then smiless

Me again, sorry for abrupt end to my post but as I was typing a message came on screen that our d.i.l. in Aus. was on line skyping. Got really excited and tried to get through but the line was engaged and now they've gone off line again. They are 13 hours ahead of us when we are in Florida, time difference here is even more of a pain than it is back home. Hubby even more upset now.

Don't think our lovely s realises how imp. it is for him to keep in touch. Would have been the case any way with him on the other side of the world, but even more imp. to us as he's the only one we have left!

Don't think today is going to be a good day. Hope you all have a good one.

Sorry yesterday wasn't a good day for you Celebgran . We had a bit of a strange one too. Hubby was putting all pics. and video of our gs in to a separate file so I wouldn't come across any by mistake. He clicked on one bec. he didn't know what it was and it was a video of our s playing with our gs; he was only a couple of months old. Don't know what upset me more, seeing my s or my gs.

We got up at 7.00am to skype s in Aus. only to find an email saying he wouldn't be available as they were going out. Hubby really upset now. Lovely s not very good at keeping in touch and doesn't respond very often.

Oh smiless that's a funny story bet your oh was pleased.

We bit of black Saturday oh and I had upsetting row which always blows up over trivia then insults get hurled.

We still went outlast night but I feel unwell today got nasty chest pain and cough. Just got up to make cup tea so presume oh still sulking as he always gets up first.

We always been bit volatile but the rift with our daughter makes it worse.

Hope yr nice d did stay yogagirl and managed cheer you up.

Will be 5th Xmas without our daughter and sometimes I can't bear itj however don't have choice!

I know you'll all be sleeping as I type this but it's only 9.30pm here
and I thought I would try and get your Saturday started with a giggle . I know some of you were amused by my rice story, well girls this is even better!

Do you remember a couple of days ago I told you how my hubby fished for a compliment in the super market by saying the cart (trolley) we were using was for old people because he knew the two young ladies would be polite and say 'but you're not old'? Do you remember me then telling you that when we were out here before and he went out alone, a cashier said she thought he looked like Sylvester Stalone, and I didn't believe him? Well, we've just been to our fave. Asian restaurant and the male member of staff who came to collect our payment, bobbed down and asked my hubby if he'd ever been told that he looks like Sylvester Stylone .

Must be a set up. Worse thing though is having been tirelessly teased about the amount of rice I ordered, he is now calling me 'Adrian' Rocky Balboa's (played of course by Sylvester Stalone) wife in the 'Rocky' films.

Hello ladies. What a shame your trip to your friends exhibition upset you Yogagirl. All this Christmas stuff just makes our situations seem worse doesn't it. The wooden train sounds lovely, just like the little red fire engine I saw a few weeks ago which would have been perfect for my gs. Even though we are fortunate to be able to share our woes on this forum, in that type of environment you feel you're the only gmother in the world being deprived of your much loved gc. Enjoy your and seeing your ND.

May be a door is about to open with my S, as you say Yogagirl he doesn't sound happy, not happy at all. Isn't that amasing, a gd contacting some one on FB because she thinks she may be her gd, and it turns out that she is. It just goes to show that miracles do happen so we mustn't give up hope. Easier said than done I know, but if it can happen for one of us, why not all of us.

Sorry that you don't see much of your gs Carolann, it's awful how one divorce can affect an entire family. I hope he gets in touch with you over Christmas.

I'm with you Yogagirl TGIF so more and for us all.