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cut out of thier lives 2

(1000 Posts)
Yogagirl Sat 27-Jul-13 21:54:29

Just testing to see what happens here, as it said no more messages!

Marelli Sat 27-Jul-13 22:03:13

This is such an important and, I think, necessary thread. Nanban, I'm absolutely delighted for you and your grandchildren. It gives everyone hope that nothing - but nothing - is forever. flowers xx

Yogagirl Sat 27-Jul-13 22:15:47

Hello all and thank you for your kind words

I was off to see Romeo and Juliet, open-air production on Friday, really looking forward to it and then I got the letter....It was from my s.i.l solicitor, I think they must have got them to write one more statement, as I had been told by their solicitors that they were no longer taking the case.
The letter was so terrible, really upset me, full of lies as usual, saying that I have never been in my GC lives due to a dispute with my D. If you know my story you would remember that my daughter lived with me whilst she was pregnant, I was at the birth, and they then both lived with me after, before we ever knew who Jason (to be s.i.l) was! Laila was even named after me (my first and surname after Laila) not s.i.l child.
It really knocked me for six! I felt better after I had spoken to my other daughter (who's also out) and responded to their statement, but I now don't have the confidence I had about winning visitation rights. I will be taking photo's to the court as SJP advised, to prove we were a very close and happy family.
Hope this thread is going to continue flowers

Yogagirl Sat 27-Jul-13 22:26:22

So happy for you Nanban Who would have thought a month ago that you would now be seeing your son and GC, its heart

I really can't see it happening for me now, they have painted such a dark picture of me and yet I'm a kind and gentle mother and grandmother, just wanting to give my love to my baby daughter and her little ones, my precious GC sad

Nanban Mon 29-Jul-13 14:02:58

Yogagirl, the letter sent was to do just what it is doing - upset you so very much that you don't carry on. Well, regard it as just that and you carry on best you can. You go and be heard and show your photos and only good can come of it. There is one thing that will shine through everything no matter what - and that is truth. You stick with that. I am sure you never stop thinking about it all, but before going to court rehearse what you have to say until you are word perfect, say everything which will make an impact keeping it short and to the point. If you have to write it down as an aide, do.

Ooooo, I would so like to be there.

And, how completely wonderful that this thread lives on for everyone. xxxx

Marelli Mon 29-Jul-13 14:42:37

When you started this thread, Nanban, it opened the floodgates for everyone experiencing the same difficulties. It's given so much comfort and hope to so many. I wonder, is it possible to place the original post that you made for the first thread, on here?

Nanban Mon 29-Jul-13 15:46:39

I'll give it a go - I/we felt trapped inside a nightmare and very alone, and hearing other stories didn't change our situation, didn't make everything right, but I found such comfort and friendship that is irreplaceable, and I hope others get that too.

Nanban Mon 29-Jul-13 15:51:14

I would like a day ….

I would like a day when waking up isn’t realizing it’s another day I haven’t talked to my son.
I would like a day not waking to tears.
I would like a day when I’m not missing Harry doing something new.
I would like a purely happy day.
I would like a day when we don’t wonder when it will all end.
I would like a day when we don’t wonder how it will all end.
I would like a day looking forward to seeing my boy, touching him.
I would like a day when his wife calls for a chat.
I would like a day when we share time with Harry in our home.
I would like a day just like every other grandmother.
I would like a day when I don’t miss my son.
I would like a day looking forward to tomorrow.
I would like a day that doesn’t end in tears.
I would like any day but today.

celebgran Mon 29-Jul-13 15:51:36

Agree with Nanban please stay strong yogagirl. We too received a dreadful letter from our daughter solicitor 3 years ago and itnwasnnalso full of lies saying I was intimidating my s I law and mentally I'll etc etc and had physically abused my daughter it set me very very badly. I now realise it is my daughter who has the problem and I am totally proud of all I did for her.

As I have said continually if my husband would agree I would fight to see my dear granddaughters through court.

dont Give up!! X x x

Aka Mon 29-Jul-13 16:25:36

Don't give up. Where's there's life there's hope sad

Yogagirl Mon 29-Jul-13 17:49:14

Oh I'm so pleased everyone's back on here againflowers, I looked at the other threads and didn't want to join in as there seemed to be some very unsympathetic people on there!

Thank you so much Nanban, Celebgran and Aka for your kind words and support again, it really does make a difference, getting on here to 'chat' about the things we all understand, like no one else.

I'm so sorry to here your sad attic clear out Celebgran how awful for you!
And OTW10 such a sad story, very much the same as mine.

But OMG! Looking through the court papers and statements, I discovered something quite shocking; My daughters signature on the horrible,terrible statements full of lies and deceit...are most definitely NOT hers!!
Their statements were sent signed to their solicitors, the sol. then attached their covering letter to the statements and then I and the courts got a copy. Therefore it would be my s.i.l's mother that wrote out the statements and then one of them signed as my daughter! It is totally clear that the signatures on the statements and the signature on the solicitors document saying they would no-loner represent my s.i.l were from a different person, my daughter signed the afore mentioned doc.( no more rep) so the courts have clear evidence in hand, that what I'm saying is true.

When I looked again at the statements, I thought 'hang on a minute, that is not Jenni's signature! When I read the last horrid statement, I thought at the time, that I just could not believe my daughter would sit down in a solicitors office and sign her name to such lies and deceit about her mum, but now I know she actually didn't!!

But my s.i.l and his mother are very stupid, as they didn't even try to copy my daughters signature, they just did one of their own, which looks nothing like my Jenni's.

whenim64 Mon 29-Jul-13 18:09:41

Yogagran have you thought about making up a file of all the evidence and going along to another family solicitor for a short consultation, just to get some idea of where you stand now you have discovered your daughter's signature has been falsified? What they have done is despicable. I hope some progress comes from your bad news, as they shouldn't get away with alienating you from your family like this. flowers

yogagran Mon 29-Jul-13 19:08:07

It's not me when - you meant yogagirl.

This is all very confusing when someone chooses a user name very similar to your own!

Bez Mon 29-Jul-13 19:09:21

Do CAB still get you an app with a volunteer solicitorYoga ? I went there about ten years ago about something and I was able to go back and talk to a solicitor who told me to go to a solicitor and take action - luckily nothing to do with children - my heart so goes out to you ladies dealing with these people and not being able to give the love to your DGC. That you want to. Each post I read makes me realise just how lucky I am. I DO so hope that more of you have a happy ending.

whenim64 Mon 29-Jul-13 19:24:49

Sorry yogagran I was convinced I had typed yogagirl. smile

Maniac Tue 30-Jul-13 14:46:48

Nanban I am so glad to hear that you have made contact with family
Also glad that your original poem has been restored to this thread.
It expresses so well our daily ongoing sadness .
Someone posted recently that she keeps away from these threads because they are so sad but we have to live with the despair day and night even though we try to be positive and get on with our lives.
We really appreciate the support from other GNs even if there is nothing they can do to help.
Love to all GNs denied contact with family .Maybe we can send each other a thought or light a candle at a predetermined time of day.

celebgran Tue 30-Jul-13 18:17:06

I thought I posted comment drat must lost it!

Wanted to say maniac yes I noticed that comment and it obviously must bore some people but as I said to another kind lady on here supportive comments mean so much and can actually help you through hard times.

What a lovely idea to light a candle at same time for all of us going through this hell.

KatyK Wed 31-Jul-13 09:33:22

I think the support given on these threads is wonderful. I am luck enough to see my GD regularly but I have had some issues with my DD and have been given fantastic support on here and made me realise that my situation is not nearly so bad as other folks. I think realising that you are not alone in your situation is a help in itself.

petra Wed 31-Jul-13 11:24:45

Well done yogagirl for noticing the discrepancies with the signatures.
In all your grief you must have felt elated, I know I would have done.
You now have something concrete to use in your fight with these awful people.

Nanban Wed 31-Jul-13 13:56:05

How lovely it would be if we could all back away from something too sad to bear - and how many times have I been given 'you have a lovely life, so must enjoy that and perhaps one day....'. Said with the best of intentions but from people who have no clue, and also stand in a 'that will never happen to us' place - well, it happens and no-one is safe from it happening.

How I wish there was no need for this thread and that good, kind people weren't being hurt so pointlessly, but the world is far from perfect and I am pleased that comfort is to be found amongst us. Well done lovely ladies.

annsixty Wed 31-Jul-13 16:03:28

I am also pleased that people can show so much compassion even when the sort of situations spoken of on here havn't happened to them. When my son's marriage ended someone said to me,very smugly I may add "well of course that won't happen to my children, we are Christians".

Minty Wed 31-Jul-13 16:06:50

It can and does happen to anyone.

KatyK Wed 31-Jul-13 16:13:05

annsixty. I know someone who said something similar - unfortunately for her, it did happen to one of her children

Gorki Wed 31-Jul-13 16:56:48

It makes me cross when people say such self-righteous things. I have two friends in their sixties who have recently divorced after about 30 years of marriage. They are both vicars and both lovely caring people. I believe their divorce has helped them come alongside others in their congregations who are going through similar situations. What gives others the right to be so judgemental.

whenim64 Wed 31-Jul-13 17:23:12

It does indeed happen to anyone. I never expected it to happen to me, but things changed from complete involvement in my grandson's life to being denied contact within a matter of days. A way of bringing revenge on my son and his family, for having the audacity to leave his abusive wife. It's a shock to the system from which you only recover when the nightmare ends. I was lucky because a year later the divorce settlement and court orders ensured contact was restored, and now we have the security of knowing that my grandson will and does have a say in wanting to be with us.

The ex hasn't stopped, but doesn't press our buttons now. Sadly, we have just learned that she is doing the same thing to the grandparents of the child who was born just after the divorce.

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