Heartache grandparents denied contact

Of course you do, you must be distraught. Carrying this sort of pain for so long is a heavy burden and will take its toll on you and your health. I know for some it's a dirty word but have you had any counselling. It can be helpful. Having a 'safe, place to let it all out with someone who's detached can be really helpful. It doesn't solve the problem but it can clear your thinking and help you find away of coping and accepting the pain and move forward. I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for managing for so long grappling every day with this type of heartbreak is terrible. I really hope that things can be resolved in the future. I wish I had a magic wand

Well yogagirl and all rest of us suffering this heartbreak of no contact!
My dear husband went to see my daughters yesterday.
We now have another granddaughter Lola - my daughter wanted to speak to her dad usual husband screaming get out or will call police!

My daughter tried hard to persuade him to let her dad see little ones, he got glimpse of one we not seen .

Where do we go from here? She is being controlled by pig of a husband.

At least I know baby no 3 arrived safely.

Been emotional day.

))))))))))) big hug(((((((((((( must have been a really rotten day and you must feel rung out all that desperate emotion. My thoughts are with you and your husband

Thank you Kiora, in some ways it was positive that daughter wanted to speak to her Dad, and we found out about new baby direct from her.

My husband most definitely now thinks that her husband is the problem!

Feel more relaxed today, it was more emotional upheaval than anything as in some ways it is a tiny step forward.

OMG Celebgran sounds like you have the same pig s.i.l as I. Funny your new GD is Lola, and mine is Laila, similar names! You and I wont see our daughters and GC till they are no-longer with their controlling H, I'm sure, I pray every day that this will happen soon and then I think it may never happen! I've posted on 'cutout' as well. - you need it!

Kiora I read your story with interest, sounds like same rotten s.i.l situation.
So pleased to hear you have reconnected with your DD, your story gives us all hope

I have to agree with you hebrideanlady, some people are like this. I have a situation with my DD. I am new to this site and after reading all the heartbreaking stories, can identify with all the pain and grief behind all the sad stories. My D has turned into a monster, I don't know who she is anymore. We were once very close, I even delivered her first baby GS, with whom I have a very special bond and with whom I have seen through two major heart surgeries,one at 11 days old the second at 6 months old. My daughter's partner was no where to be seen when she needed him and she constantly made excuses for his behavior, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces (mainly me). During the last few years while my GS has been ticking over, she has become more and more distant towards me. She has a habit of pushing and pulling me when it suits. She excludes me from any family events and only contacts me when she wants me to do something for her, if I cannot be at her beck and call I suffer the consequences badly, both with physical and verbal abuse. I am a mother and a nanny without any of the fringe benefits. I do not know her anymore, she makes cruel comments to me and my husband (her stepfather) who has been a rock when she needed him, he has had to put up with the same abuse from her also. She does not allow us to see our GC that often without a hitch or an ulterior motive and always on her terms I am never allowed to speak with my GS on the phone, she deliberately excludes us from knowing anything about his hospital appointments, his nativity plays or any special events. My heart is breaking I cannot sleep thinking about him because when he is allowed to speak with me he tells me he loves me and misses me (he is just 4 years old) I am a broken women with all this emotional blackmail and stress from my daughter. My GS is due to have another very serious heart operation soon and she constantly keeps me out of the loop when I ask her. She has becoming controlling, manipulating and a compulsive liar and I am now afraid to stand up to her in case she doesn't let me seem him in the hospital. My doctor has told me it is time to take care of myself and has kindly given me some medication to help me through my bad days. My daughter is unaware of the any of this and the fact that we are still making sacrifices unknown to her to remain in the country to support her when he has his next operation. She would only tell me well I didn't ask you to and if I need you I will tell you where and when and just mocks me and calls me dramatic. She has grown so jealous of my relationship with my GS and will do anything to keep us apart and for him to feel that I do not love him anymore. I have literally put my life on hold for a just in case moment. I cannot let him down because he would not understand why nanny was not there. So sorry for the long story but I needed to get this off my chest. I do not know what advice anyone can give to me that I have not tried -thank you for listening.

Sabies23. No need to opologise for the long post. I could cry for you. Just keep posting as much as you want. I don't think I could cope with what some of you ladies are going through.

sabies23 I would imagine that you cried when you wrote your post, I know I did when I wrote mine, If I knew any words to console you believe me I would. my DD1 is 50 next year, since she left home 2 weeks after her 16th birthday because I would not let her sleep with her most recent boyfriend in the bedroom next to her 2 younger sisters. She has used her children as weapons nearly all my life it seems. Your pain must be very great because your GS is so little and he has horrendous problems. Like your self I was grateful for anything, any crumb of love, tiptoeing all the time just to have any contact. But please, please if you believe anything, you must take care of your self, you must try no matter how difficult it seems, to try and sort it in your head, you must stay strong for that little boy. I know all this is just words from someone you don't know, but please believe I will think of you

Hello sabies - what heartbreak. Sounds like you are getting the anger that cannot be directed at fate, for giving her a child with a heart problem? Your doctor is right, that you need to start looking after yourself. There is always a "listening ear" on GN and seeking support like you have just done is a good way of starting to care for yourself.

Dear Sabies,
Look after yourself . Cry ,we all do but start each day with a vow to make the most of that day , for your own sake. Your story is so sad and I agree , it sounds as though your DD like mine and so many others have not yet ditched their teenage requirement for parents to be completely wrong about everything !
Wishing you sleep and peace

Dear Sabies another terribly sad story, my heart goes out to you. Seems our D are all very cruel to their devoted mothers, no matter what we do and no matter how much love an support we give. I wish I could give you some advise, but Im in the same boat as you and have no answers. I went to court three times to see my beloved GC, thinking this would then contect me with my D too, lost the case, and now I really wish I hadn't gone down that road, made it thousand times worse! I will not see my D and GC till my D splits with her nasty,cruel H now, for sure. I wish I had just kept totally quiet and waited, but at the time I was so traumatised, it was like I was drowning and thrashing around for air! as I sit here now, with a clearer head, I would not have gone to court. But then there's dear Celebran 5yrs of keeping quiet and still no joy, so damed if you do, damed if you dont!

I can't read these threads often as they are so terribly upsetting. My heart goes out to you all

Quite true yogagirl I now regret not going court. But then a friend who has has no relationship with her daughter so you can't win.

Cruel horrid we must on take need of otw and enjoy each day. Best we can
Thinking of you yogagirl

hope you find the support from others helpful Sabies. Otw puts it well I think - it seems some of the daughter's talked about in this way are stuck in their teenage years. It is so sad for everyone concerned.

Thank you Celebran thinking of you too
Can we all get on the same page, as at the mo there is two pages on the same subject. So how about after this message we all get onto 'cut out of thier lives 2'

hi there new to this but have been through what you all have but come out the other side took our daughter to court and won it was very hard for us as she was such a loving daughter until she met her partner have a wonderful relationship with our eldest granddaughter our daughters from her marriage, thought it would be the same when the youngest one was born but that didn't happen it affects all the family as my daughter has a lovely nephew my sons child but will never see him as my son fell out with his sister when she got involved with her partner they where very close and she did not even attend his wedding a few years ago, all because her partner did not want us to have contact with his child.

surprised I have no replies maybe because I see my grandchildren, but know what you are all going through as have been there, don't give up on them have any of you tried mediation that's the first step although my daughter did not want to do that, so court was the only answer and have never regretted it even though I have lost my daughter through it, lost her anyway when he came on the scene, we were lucky we got legal aid had a good solicitor and barrister, and super judges your stories are very sad I feel for you all, have been on TV in the paper and also on radio to talk about it. The other sad thing with me is when I was 19 had a baby had to have her adopted so feel I have lost 2 daughters through no fault of my own. hope someone replies to my messages. thank you.

tibbs sometimes posts get missed, specially if they are late at night, so please don't feel you are being ignored.

Yogagirl suggested everyone moved on to a different thread tibbs so this may be why you have not had replies. It certainly sounds as though you have managed this dreadful situation well. You must have lived through an horrendous time. Up to now I have been lucky but there have been times when I was frightened of the outcome, still am if I am honest but possibly now for different reasons

Just bumped the thread you created tibbs. It was under Grandparenting - Denied Access - you have some replies.