Grandchild name

Ermintrude, I am sorry but I find your attitude completely unreasonable. As grandparents it is absolutely nothing to do with us what our children decide to name their children. It was our choice when we came to name our own children, now it their time. It does not matter how outrageous the name may seem to you, we are a different generation and will have our own ideas. Don't you love your son unconditionally, don't you support his right to make his own decisions, don't you want the birth of his child to be the most amazingly, magical time? Don't you want just to share in the joy of his son's birth, don't you just feel love and pride?

Mostly though I just cannot understand why you would want to cause a rift at this, the most precious of times. Having a grandchild is the most wonderful thing in the world, and our 'job' is to support whatever our children decide, not just on a name but on any decision they make. I just cannot understand why you would fall out with your son at the most important time of his life. I do not know if you have other grandchildren, but if so surely you would not wish to cause a rift, how can you even think of anything but the overwhelming sense of love and joy and happiness that a grandchild brings. I think you could have created a problem for yourself - I think if I were your DS or DIL I would always remember how you, at what should be the most wonderful time when your heart should be bursting with pride and joy and happiness, had instead had a disagreement. It might seem unfair but I think you may have done great harm to your relationship. Maybe I am unreasonable myself, but if I were your DS or DIL I would always remember the fly in the ointment at the time of great joy, I think that underneath I would not properly be able to forgive.

Sorry, I just think whatever the name, you are being both totally unreasonable, and on your DS and DIL's behalf I feel angry. How can you possibly do this to them? I would suggest the real problem is the money you have lent, but even so I would be completely furious you created a disagreement at this time.

I would buy the largest bouquet of flowers and beg forgiveness for being totally and completely unfair, unreasonable and unkind.

Oh and btw I am looking after my precious baby grandchild today - and he has a girl's name! I can't possibly imagine him called anything else now.

Having read your post again I see you wrote that you can only look at the baby with pity. WOW, just WOW. Pity? WOW, all I see when I look at my baby grandson is that I have never loved anyone more and he is the most precious person in all our lives. My heart practically bursts with love. I really hope your DS and DIL do not know that, because if I were one of them I would not want you to be part of my child's life.

My SIL's mother chose the birth of his son as the time to criticise him for a decision that was 100% his to make, and he was so upset and angry that she has never seen his son. Maybe at another time they could have worked things out, but feelings run so deep after the birth of his son, and he was incredulous she caused a rift at that time by daring to criticise his and my daughter's decision.

Pity - WOW!

As the really proud 'Ma' to an adorable 5 month old named Persephone, but called Persie, (who could not be called anything else now) I think you are being entirely unreasonable and you risk joining the ranks of grandparents who are banned from seeing their grandchildren. I suggest you read the many threads on here, think about the real sadness there and, as lots of people have said, buy the most enormous bouquet and grovel.

If your issue is really about the money I suggest you raise that as a separate topic.

A form of abuse? You've got to be kidding, ermintrude.

Get a grip and embrace your lovely grandson with love, not pity.

Yes, you are being unreasonable

Perhaps the money lending issue is clouding your reaction to the baby's name? I can only agree with all the other posters. Get a grip and accept.

We know someone with twin girls one of whom is called Sydney. It has never been a problem to anyone least of all to Sydney herself.

We also had neighbours called Chris and Bev. Chris was the lady and Bev (Beverley ) was the man. Again no problem.

How sad that you say you would look at this baby with pity Are you sure that there is not a control issue going on here ? and to mention money is not a good path to follow you will surely make sure that your son and DIL do not bring your DGS to visit if you do not apologise to them,we have an Ashley and an Adrian in our family and they are all fine boys and I kid you not one of DS2s friends friends at school yrs ago was called Hanibal,then I think you would have had reason to be up-set but still it's the name the parents picked and he is a fine young man.

Ermintrude,as far as I'm concerned cornishsue put it beautifully.

What your son and dil call their baby is none of your business, how would you have felt if your mother had reacted like that when you had your child?
I feel pity too, but not for the baby.

Oh dear Ermintrude I do hope it isn't ..............

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1BJfDvSITY

There was a wrestler called Shirley Crabtree aka Big Daddy!

gillybob or his real name of Marion ? then there is Big Daddy a wrestler from a while ago his name was Shirley (something) maybe Crabtree ?

I think you might be getting mucpxed ip with John Wayne glammanana I believe his real name was Marion something or other. Johnny Cash was apparently nameless and known only as JR Cash until he enlisted in the army where he was forced to put a name to the initials and became John(ny) . All fascinating stuff.

Yes, you are being totally unreasonable. Are you going to tell us what the name is ? Whatever the baby is called it seems to me that you are the first one to cause the problem that you are so 'worried' about.

Having read through this thread I have to admit to sympathy with ermintrude, not over her views on the name of the baby; IMHO it has to be the choice of the parents, but because the full weight of Gransnet Disapproval has fallen on her shoulders.

It started gently and reasonably but has built up momentum and anger until some words which I wanted to report. Poor ermintrude who appears to be a 'new member' took courage in both hands and opened her heart - this is obviously hurting her badly - has had the full weight of Gransnet thrown at her. I feel sure ermintrude is perfectly capable of sticking up for herself but personally I think everyone is GOTT

Ashley or Ashleigh
Lee or Leigh
Lesley or Leslie
Marion
Pat
Lou
Jo or Joe
Shirley
Chris
Jackie

Come on there must be more.......

Thanks gillybob I knew it was someone famous just bear with me until I have had my 3rd and the brain will kick into gear.

I have to admit I wouldn't be too happy if my baby grandson was called something really girly as it would cause confusion right through his life. Why would a parent deliberately set a child up like that?

My hippie cousin called his first born son Sunshine. they lived in a commune with babies called Daisy, Star, Moon - you can imagine. Sunny is now in his 40's, he is an accountant. At 5, he started at the village school, along with Daisy and co - but Sunny came home one day and announced he'd be called Danny, thank you very much, and so it came to pass. It's one of those things ermintrude, we don't own our children and they make their own choices. I hope the comments on here haven't been too harsh - if your post is genuine that is

Marion Morrison was better knwn by his stage name of John Wayne. Being christened 'Marion' didn't do him any harm. I think I'd have been a tad upset if my granddaughter had been called Ermintrude but would have learned to live with that too
Just wonder if we're being wound up here?

I was beginning to think the same Aka

I know 2 boys called Sunny (or it could be Sonny ) and it suits them down to the ground. My favourite is a chap I met in Mexico called Rainbow. His surname was Skye. What a lovely image and it sounds good too. Getting off the point here. Sorry.

Emintrude are you Peaches Gelfdof's mother-in-law? I believe she has named her new baby BOY Phaedra, definitely a feminine name, well it was in Greek mythology, her older boy is called Astala which ending in a also has a feminine ring about it. Allegedly her dad, Bob, has had problems getting his head around these names. Strange for a man who agreed to call his girls Fifi Trixie Belle, Peaches and Pixie. It seems, in his case anyway, what goes around comes around! Wonder if these boys will adopt David Bowie's sons approach, I believe he started life as Zowie Bowie and is now known as Duncan Jones! Emintrude, it's possible that your grandchild may change his name himself if he doesn't like it.

It feels to me as if the name of the baby is sort of a last straw for you, ermintrude? If so, that is awful, and you must feel upset, as you so obviously are.

But, and it's a big "but", I don't think anything is worth losing out on knowing a grandchild. I was with my SiL when he rang his parents to tell them of his son's birth, and all he got was a rant about the baby's name. He wouldn't speak to them for years. So do think carefully, please, for everyone's sake.

Mmmm I have been wondering if this is a little wind-up but imagine poor Ermintrude's feelings if it isn't. We all have our oddities. I was shot down myself on my first (very lighthearted) post - long time ago now and in a different incarnation but it was really hurtful. Perhaps the benefit of the doubt?

I vote for a wind-up. I can understand a grandmother being amazed and disappointed by their grandchild's name (my MiL would have liked DD1 to have the name she had chosen for the daughter she herself never had) but I don't believe any mother would fall out bigtime over it.

I am sorry, Ermintrude if the post is genuine, but if so, I think you need to untie the apron strings you would like attached to your son - and your grandson will make his own mind up about his name pretty soon.

As for the money - did you mention when they spoke about further improvements that they had not yet paid you back for the loan? That was the ideal time to raise the subject.