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'Me time'

(84 Posts)
Gally Thu 19-Sep-13 03:52:48

i find this article unbelievable - I am, for once, speechless

petra Thu 19-Sep-13 08:56:58

I can understand how someone could find this upsetting. My DD has two very demanding intelligent children, and it's exhausting. I see my DGC most days so I see this first hand. Just two examples of the youngest yesterday. She came out of pre school and had a necklace hidden in her mouth. When my DD noticed, she said: where did that come from! Then they came to me. She loves going through my drawers in the bedroom. When they were going and I was putting her shoes on I noticed that she had put one of my rings on her toe and put her sock back on.LOL
So when you have this demanding behaviour day in, day out, it's understandable that some mums welcome the children going to school.

annsixty Thu 19-Sep-13 09:14:33

Who benefits here? It doesn't seem to be the child. Just a few months could make all the difference and in the long term it is such a short time, and as for saying we had another child so that I could be a stay at home Mum, that didn't last long. Self interest springs to my mind.

Elegran Thu 19-Sep-13 09:25:02

Poor little mite.

Mummy wanted a dolly that she could play with when it suited her and put back in the box when it didn't.

whenim64 Thu 19-Sep-13 09:37:49

What will this child think when she's a little older and sees what her mother has said about her in a national newspaper? At least she'll be justified in having a clear conscience when her needy mother is dumped on the care home steps at the first sign of her needing a little extra support from her daughter!

annodomini Thu 19-Sep-13 10:32:00

Surely this little girl is in the foundation stage in her school which is pretty much the same as nursery education, though no nursery I know of - and not many state schools - would impose a blazer on a four-year-old. It sounds like a private establishment to me.
Two of my grandsons have been among the youngest in their classes, being July and August babies respectively and thus starting school when only just 4. The first one already had a sister in the school and knew many children with whom he'd attended nursery. He is also big for his age and held his own so well that he's now his class (Year 5) representative on School Council. The other is more reserved and I think he could have done with another year in nursery.
As for giving a red card to a small child? What kind of institution is this?

whenim64 Thu 19-Sep-13 10:55:09

anno I was surprised to learn that the little church school my four year old grandsons started at, a week after their 4th birthday on 30th August, operates a traffic light system for minor misdemeanours and mischief. In the first week, these little 4 year olds came runnng out of school to announce they were both on red!

I struggle with the notion of children starting school so early, although they do enjoy going - they get very tired still, a year on. It took them a few months to learn the new rules, like not pretending to be Batman and Robin when you are in the queue to go in the hall, and facing forward when you are walking in a line back to the classroom - they got amber and red for these behaviours! All a bit over the top for such little children.

Reminds me of Strangeways prison, where one hungry man received an adjudication for 'concealing a sausage under a plate!'

Grannyeggs Thu 19-Sep-13 11:02:59

Gally I too am shocked by this. I view this as totally selfish behaviour, that child is way too young for school. My GS was the same age when he started and he was so overwhelmed by it that they could hardly get a word out of him. A year on he's fine, but definitely a bit behind those in his year who are not far off a year older. I agree with When about the Mother, I would have kept quiet if. I felt like that, not put myself ou there in a National newspaper.

Gally Thu 19-Sep-13 12:03:45

I couldn't believe this woman was putting this out in the press and seemed to be so proud of it, despite claiming she knew the child was too young to start school but, obviously her own needs and feelings came first. I know all children when they start school are tired, but to send her off in the early morning until 4pm and then on to an afterschool club so that she is so tired she sleeps on her return home, is to me unforgiveable. DD2 started school at 41/2. She was tiny and probably not ready, but she was home by 12 for the first term and by 3 after that. With hindsight, I would have kept her back until she was 51/2. As it was, she left school at 17 and had graduated by 20, but I always feel she suffered because of her too early start. Some children are ready, some are not and little Dolly is probably not.
Perhaps this mother should rethink her priorities and put a little more effort into the needs of her youngest and last child.

harrigran Thu 19-Sep-13 12:18:19

Did she think we would empathise with her ? She has kept the child a baby and now that it suits her she wants her in full time education. Unbelievable.

vampirequeen Thu 19-Sep-13 13:50:17

I have no words to describe my feelings about this woman.....well I do but I think they may break Gransnet rules.

FlicketyB Thu 19-Sep-13 13:50:42

This woman is always writing shock horror stories for the DM, I think they keep half a dozen of them in a hole in the ground somewhere and yank them out every so often and demand them to write a suitable story. It then enables them to yank her out a little bit later to write another story about how bitchy other mothers are about her and ostracise her bcause she is so 'honest' about her feelings for her daughter.

Never mind Nemesis will find her when her poor ignored neglected daughter becomes a rebellious and truly uncontrollable teenager.

Frankly, after this story I think Social Services should be on her doorstep.

maxgran Thu 19-Sep-13 14:00:56

Why does this woman have children?

She sounds totally selfish and self centred.

Why is her Daughter still wearing a nappy at night? Because her mother is too lazy to teach her to be dry at night? Can't stand the thought of the odd wet bed?
As for the dummy!.. She is 4 years old!

The mother just sounds like a lazy cannot be bothered with her kids development Mum!

felice Thu 19-Sep-13 14:06:27

Friend of my DD has a little girl who at nearly 4 is still in nappies all the time, Mum says it is because when my DGS was born she wanted to be a baby too, mmmmm, here they go to Maternal at 2 1/2 if you want them to, then school at 6, leaving at 18. seems to work very well.
I am just so shocked at this woman even putting up photographs of the poor wee mite, hope the child grows up ok then tells her Mother to get lost.

sunseeker Thu 19-Sep-13 14:07:54

I don't have children so maybe shouldn't be commenting on this thread but I know my friends have always treasured every tiring moment they had with their children before they started school. They would be worn out in the evenings but always said they wouldn't change a thing.

I would occasionally take the children off for an afternoon to give Mum a break but when I returned them Mum always gave them a great big hug and told them how much she missed them!

petallus Thu 19-Sep-13 14:09:29

I'm amazed anyone is taking this article seriously. It is obviously intentionally provocative.

Having said that, I do understand how women can become desperate for some time to themselves. Not only that but four is old enough to go to school. My grandson started school when he was four and six weeks old, because his birthday was in July. Many women put their children into creches when they are babies don't they?

Eloethan Thu 19-Sep-13 14:13:35

I expect many of us can recall at times feeling exhausted and exasperated by the demands of looking after young children - and I certainly wouldn't blame anyone for needing a little "me time". But I would have thought that, after having three children, this person would be aware of what parenting involves - and "me time" is usually in short supply. If this person had felt it unduly demanding of her time and energy (and could not enlist more help from the father who doesn't appear to be mentioned in the article), it might have been better to have limited her family, rather than make a conscious decision to add to it.

This little girl has just turned four, is still in nappies and needs the comfort of a dummy. Some children may be ready for full-time school at this age but it seems that this little girl isn't.

Let's hope this child never reads the article when she is older. Apart from it being, I think, rather hurtful it will provide her with ready-made ammunition (which it may be difficult for her parents to defend themselves against) for any wayward teenage behaviour.

Tegan Thu 19-Sep-13 14:14:36

If she wanted to spend time with her elder children maybe she should have only had a couple of children and not paid for a private education for them [that way she wouldn't have needed to carry on working; how much does it cost to privately educate 4 children these days?]. Probably thinks that she's being clever by penning such a controversial article but I'd rather hope it means she'll be out of a job in the near future. What a cow angry.

Anne58 Thu 19-Sep-13 14:19:36

I can't seem to find the article, when I click on the link I get a page of photos confused

Ana Thu 19-Sep-13 14:58:07

Not only allowing photos of the poor child, but agreeing to have her posing in her school uniform sucking a dummy.....! angry

Anne58 Thu 19-Sep-13 15:48:02

Finally managed to read it and now I'm angry

Totally agree with some of the comments beneath the article.

Hunt Thu 19-Sep-13 16:12:22

Children are not all the same. One size doesn't fit all. I can remember my Mum saying, in later years, that she couldn't wait for me to start school and that I was really ready at the age of 41/2 but had to wait until I was well over 5. This poor little might is obviously not ready and certainly not for all the extra stuff like the after school clubs! 8.30 - 5.00 ! Unbelievable! It's longer than some people's working day. Perhaps there will be another article soon headed' only joking!'

Stansgran Thu 19-Sep-13 16:56:46

And she's not a very good writer.

Gally Thu 19-Sep-13 17:11:52

Petallus I have no doubt that this piece was written in order to agitate, but to use an innocent child in order to do so, to make money through airing it in a tabloid, certainly warrants it being taken seriously.

vampirequeen Thu 19-Sep-13 17:30:57

It's not just going to school though is it. She dumps the poor little mite into the playground at 8.30am and leaves her standing alone then doesn't bother to collect her until 5pm. No wonder the child is exhausted. Then she tells the world that she still wears nappies and has a dummy.....well that's ammunition for the playground bully.