What would YOU do?

Do the Mums on Mumsnet agonise about the relationships that there are between their DCs and their DPs or DPILs? Somehow I doubt it. I do think Facebook is a danger zone from what I've heard. I have a rule to go on line only with a pot of tea at my side or a bottle of wine at hand.

Maxgran I did not want to fall out with my daughter and I didn't. I just removed myself emotionally from her verbal barbs and put up a wall between us until such time as she could learn to conduct herself in a manner conducive to harmony and respect. The way she behaved towards other people in fact, but seemed to think it was OK to treat her mother differently.
As I said, it has worked. Throughout it I continued to love her, but there had come a point where I didn't actually like her very much.

Thank you - sorry you saw it as whining J08 - needed to get it off my chest - I'll work it out - haven't experienced anything like this before and wasn't sure how to handle it...............for the kind comments - I thank you. For J08 - I will leave this forum so as not to bother you again with my whines!

Ladyblue Please don't leave. Most of us are very supportive to other members.

JO8 is our resident sprite.

Sprite or Spite - not my sort of person I'm afraid!

j08 perhaps you could tell us all why you find it necessary to be so spiteful to a new poster?

Ladyblue just wanted to say have read the thread and absolutely don't think you are whining at all, we have all used GN as a sounding board for problems we have had from time to time. Two very good reasons for logging on to GN, to get problems off our chests and secondly to draw on others' experience with similar situations.

I kind of agree with JO8 about Facebook, possibly this is a bit old fashioned in this day and age, but having seen some of the rubbish that "the younger generation" put out there for public consumption, I rather feel ignorance is bliss. I perceive many of that generation tend to live in the "now" more than we do and don't always give a lot of thought to just what they fire off and how it will be received.

Ladyblue. I have only just read this thread and J08's comments are obviously not what you wanted to read. If you leave the thread you are just demonstrating to those who have offered you support that you are easily riled. There are two sides to every story and maybe your family are not wholly to blame for the unpleasantness.

Does flouncing off ever get anyone anywhere?

Ladyblue, you are right to be disgusted by that comment. I am too and I'm sure that most people on this forum would agree with me.

Unkind, spiteful comments such as that give a totally false impression of members here, sadly, they appear when least expected. Please ignore it and do stay.

Jingle, I find your reply rude, unwelcoming, cruel and offensive.
Please don't leave, Ladyblue - most of us are kind and supportive.
Merlot, you are wrong. There are not always two sides to every question and I think it is unfair to suggest that there are.

Ladyblue please don't leave because of one person. The majority of posters are kind and supportive, Gnet is a comforting place when needed.

It can be difficult to ignore unkindness in real life and on here. Please stay

How is your other problem going ladylike? The one in your other post on Gransnet. In January.

Please don't go. The forum would be dull without you. Obviously.

Ladyblue not ladylike. Sodding fire

I wish we had a 'like' button Greatnan because I agree with everything you have just said. for you Ladyblue

Ladyblue I'm curious as to why you are judging the forum by the one narky response - J08 was outnumbered by about 20/1. You seem to easily take umbrage.

It seems we are expected to be saints on Gransnet and keep our true feelings bottled up.

That is not for me.

J08 don't go there (January)! We'll have that chap, wotsisname, you know the one who likes very old women, making an appearance

No one is expected to keep 'true feelings' bottled up. What is expected is courtesy and understanding. If a member finds those two things impossible then it's better to keep silence.

A thoughtful response to a question should be expected. Insults and spite are quite out of order, here or in any civilised discourse.

I do not appreciate being contacted by moderators who obviously go only on reports by a few posters. Perhaps if they took the time and trouble to read a few more of my posts, they might get a more balanced and fairer view.

I resent being told that Facebook is only for teenagers - it enables me to keep in daily touch with my far-flung family and friends.
Several of us have had major or minor estrangements or misunderstandings with family members (even you, jingle, I think) and it is quite wrong to suggest that all those affected have somehow failed in their parenting skills.
There seems to be a habit amongst some members to blame anybody who is bullied or mistreated in any way and insist it must be partly their own fault. This is the way bullying was treated when I was a child and the way some judges treat victims of abuse.

I imagine that there are a number of members who 'do not appreciate' being the target of spiteful and unkind comments.

But maybe the moderators have read a few more of your posts. Jingle?

I THOROUGHLY OBJECT TO YOUR USE OF THE WORD "SPITEFUL". I HAVE NEVER BEEN A SPITEFUL PERSON AND NEVER WILL BE. PERHAPS SOME PROJECTION GOING ON THERE?

Yes, of course they have. The ones mean minded posters reported.