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To get a wee bit bored with my DDs conversation at times

(35 Posts)
felice Mon 27-Jan-14 14:43:14

Feeling a bit guilty, as some of you know I live in the granny flat in DD and Sils house, very cheap rent and they are very good to me. If we are not going out I go upstairs for a cup of tea morning, And today went up after SO had been for lunch, always when invited, just spent 30 mins hearing about Xbox One, ummmmmm, tried to sound interested but just failed,,,,!!
DD is an intelligent young woman but yes her hobby is gaming, hubby works away a lot and i know she enjoys playing the games in the evenings, but i really havn't got a clue what she is talking about., Now feel a bit guilty about doing a runner.

rosesarered Mon 27-Jan-14 14:50:57

That's ok, you can't be blamed for not being interested! Just pretend to be interested, that's what most of us do. if your SIL is away a lot, can't you go out shopping or visit somewhere with DD?Sounds as if she is bored.

felice Mon 27-Jan-14 14:54:44

We go out a lot, walk for hours and have some lovely galleries and places around here where we walk regularily, she never seems to be bored, but I am. She just thinks Mum is always interested in the same things as she is, perhaps I took too much interest when she was a child lol.

Tegan Mon 27-Jan-14 14:56:41

I have a placque hanging on my living room wall that says 'I know I look interested but I'm not'. No one seems to have noticed it, though. So I just carry on listening wink.

soop Mon 27-Jan-14 16:06:01

grin Tegan

JessM Mon 27-Jan-14 16:13:06

Oh dear we were a generation of child focussed parents weren't we, where we hung onto their every word. sad

Aka Mon 27-Jan-14 16:49:40

Start collecting Dr Who Alien Attax cards and take them up with you when you next visit. You can show them to her and rave on about having the 50th anniversary, limited edition Tardis. That'll show her grin

Or just lie back and think of England.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 27-Jan-14 17:28:52

I like that Tegan. I want a plaque like that. More for DH' s sake than the kids tbh.

KatyK Mon 27-Jan-14 17:42:54

When people used to come up to my desk at work and bore me silly about their lives but never ask about mine, I used to smile and nod and feel like saying 'you are mistaking me for someone who gives a damn'.

petra Mon 27-Jan-14 18:18:29

Know exactly what you mean, Felice. I love talking about Politics and world events. My DD doesn't give a stuff about either.
Other than the children and her husband its usually some tripe about her boring friends. I know that's a bit harsh, but it's true.

felice Mon 27-Jan-14 19:54:45

We don't live in Uk and Dr Who not really our thing, so I would not be able to talk much about it since i watched it as a child. DD watches local TV except for satirical comedy on BBC.
I think it is just me who is bored, it is cold and damp here and my Arthritis is keeping me in the house, and this time of year just gets me down a bit. I am probably annoying DD as much as she is me, but she is too polite to say so, lol.
Too much to think about in Scotland just now to make it very relaxing and as I don't have a say in it as not a resident now not much point really AKA.
Ah well a nice glass of wine I think and feet up on the sofa for the rest of the evening, have a good evening all of you.

sunseeker Mon 27-Jan-14 21:18:08

I was at a dinner party once and was sat next to someone I didn't know, making conversation I asked if he had any hobbies - I then spent the next 2 1/2 hours listening to the details of his successes and failures in archery competitions.

I must be a better actress than I thought because when we said goodbye at the end of the evening, he said how nice it was to talk to someone so interested in his hobby!!

MamaCaz Tue 28-Jan-14 16:06:55

Felice. This idea might be a bit radical I know, but could you start faking a really big interest in her gaming? Keep pestering her to let you have a go, and if you can play act well enough she might become worried that you are going to want to play on her Xbox One (whatever that is!!!) all the time. This fear might prompt her to start avoiding the subject when she sees you. smile Either that, or you might find that it is genuinely more fun than sitting there bored, in which case you will have a new pastime!

But I suppose there is the danger that it could backfire - it might just encourage her to talk about gaming even more than she does now! hmm

JessM Tue 28-Jan-14 16:27:09

You are obviously a good listener sunseeker.
OP reminds me of my son, at 12, when space invaders was the latest thing. After a long day teaching 12 year olds, I was of course, riveted, to hear all about this exciting new form of play. hmm
Suggest you point out gently that you are happy she is enjoying her new hobby, but it is not a suitable topic of conversation when addressing adults who are not similarly enthralled. It's your duty as a mother to stop her boring the *s off her DH, the people in the supermarket queue and any other adult she wishes to relate to, however briefly grin
Perhaps you could take up a new interest together as she is not out at work? Widen her horizons a bit, bless her?

janerowena Tue 28-Jan-14 19:44:38

I think I would give the xbox a go. I did, just for my SIL's sake, it just wasn't my thing but I think, at least I tried. DBH bores me rigid at times, I did try to get involved with and be excited by the world of bogeys and shunts, but in the end I just had to say to him it's the equivalent of me reading him out loud to him the first twelve rows of a fairisle knitting pattern. Now he keeps it shorter and to the point.

felice Tue 28-Jan-14 23:13:57

DD knows I hate the bloody thing, but she talks to her wee half-brother through it,,yes yes,,,
I actually have used it and had fun playing some of the building games at times. That is the problem, I enjoyed it, now I get lectures on it, ummmmm
She doesn't bore her DH as she doesn't play it when he is at home.She is actually very up on local and european politics, we do like to have a laugh at Ukip, especially when we see them in the bar across the road!!!
it has been raining here all day, I wonder who is to blame for that,,,hehe.
Sorry had an old friend round for dinner tonight, and 2 glasses of wine make me a bit facetious.
On another trend watching what I think would be a good detective movie if i could actually make out what they are saying!!!!

rosesarered Wed 29-Jan-14 12:22:56

Thats the wine Felice [or are they REALLY speaking in French or whatever they speak where you live?]

felice Wed 29-Jan-14 13:16:04

Dutch, French and in some areas German although at the moment there is a bill going through the parliaments, we have two of them !! to make English the fourth official language.

kalexie Mon 03-Feb-14 15:47:04

I have to admit to the (very) occasional pang of guilt over being bored to oblivion when my DH embarks on a detailed comparison of the virtues of one diesel engine over another diesel engine (mega YAWN) he being a motor mechanic for the last 40 odd years. And you can bet your bottom dollar it will happen at a crucial point in the middle of Columbo or Midsomer Murders!!!!!

As we live in France, I'm sometimes tempted to ask him how interested he would be if I endeavoured to explain to him the intricacies of using the french subjunctive and all it's conjugations. Mmmmm, is that a bit naughty?

Tegan Mon 03-Feb-14 18:34:51

I phoned my daughter up a few days ago to tell her something that I found quite important, but she was tied up with something. Thought she might phone me back at some point to talk about it but, thus far haven't heard from her. I feel that my life is of no interest to her sad, even though I seem to do far more than she does. My ex, whenever we set off on holiday would straight away start telling me what work needed doing on the car; I was a captive audience confused.

maxgran Wed 05-Feb-14 15:57:41

My daughter phones me regularly.
I can be on the phone for half an hour without saying hardly anything at all.
She rabbits on about her job and about the kids and her friends problems....

I have to 'switch off' Its like listening to a machine gun going off!

My OH often looks across to see if I have fallen asleep!

KatyK Wed 05-Feb-14 16:07:46

I feel as you do Tegan. My life is of no interest to my DD at all. DH and I have been to so many fantastic places, and done so much 'stuff' but it is of little interest. She is most impressed by her friend's mum and dad as I have harped on abut on GN before. If I am out with her and she meets someone she knows, she never introduces me, I just lurk about in the background. I rang her once at work (the only time I have ever done so) to tell her that I had been nominated by my workplace to go to a garden party at Buckingham Palace. I was really excited. She was slightly irritated that I had phoned her. Now I just go with the flow. I listen to her but don't expect to be asked about my life. Most mums I speak to have the same problem. Hey ho.

janerowena Wed 05-Feb-14 17:41:55

I found that it was better to keep quiet about any nice things I got up to, as DD's life is all work and very little play and she gets a tad jealous. We just stick to the GCs and family news. She doesn't ask and I don't tell, she sees snippets on fb but rarely asks for details. She isn't boring though, we have good conversations.

I know what you mean about being in mid tv-programme though. I was in the middle of The Bridge when DBH got around to opening his post. There was a photo of a small section of railway line showing a worker's crossing and end of the platform. He waxed lyrical about it for at least ten minutes. I can't believe how polite I can be at times.

Ana Wed 05-Feb-14 17:45:42

Yes - strange how a lot of men assume that the subject of their conversation must be riveting to you, but woe betide you if you presume to interrupt one of their favourite tv programmes to impart information of your own...hmm

ninathenana Wed 05-Feb-14 17:55:27

SiL has two topics of conversation, his car and work. DD's friend avoids visiting at all costs when he's home, I don't have that luxury grin