Cut out of their lives 3

Thank s ashmore! Nowadays it is all so much online we had exam papers to do virtual leaning! It helped a lot Shirley and I got distinction still got certificate on mantle piece it was year after daughter cut us out and it built. My confidence again! Also kept. ME occupied! I still felt glad that I did it.

Sleep well same to us all, managed folk dancing so bit tired now!

Morning Girls
Thank you so much for your kind words Celebgran, suppose we all have good days and bad, I try to move on, but cant do it . Well done on taking your lung test and fingers crossed it comes back clear Good job they didn't do a blood test with all that wine you drank the night before Hope funeral goes ok.
Ashmore it must be really heart braking to see your dear little GC with a family of strangers, poor little girl I hope she's happy with them.
I'll post this as not sure what happens when you go to next page.................

Well done on your Agrade Ashmore
And well done to you too Celebgran, it was a good thing to undertake at that time when it all began for you, taking your mind off things and giving you something to work on and achieve

No.3 Amazing!!! What sticking power grannies do have. Hello All, lovely lot. I am so pleased to see you all still supporting each other through thick and thin, I just wish as ever that thin times would disappear.

One of the saddest days of the year for so many of us - Mothers Day - and there is no escape. I'll be thinking of you and sending out happy thoughts.

xxxx

Afternoon ladies. Had a great session at the gym this morning in my 'boot camp' class and worked hard there yesterday ; making the most of my time there before going to Oz. Will have to make sure I do some form of exercise while I'm there or I'll be back to square one by the time I get back .

Oh Yogagirl, wish I'd seen the post you made on Sunday earlier. Hope you're feeling a little brighter today. As you say, we all get those bad days and not having had anything from your D wont be helping. for you, Librachick and Celebgran while you wait.

I cannot begin to imagine what you must be going through Ashmore; at least the rest of us know whose taking care of our gc. Even if we don't necessarily like them all they're not strangers to us. and to brighten your day. Celebgran is right, you need to take care of your self. This is indeed the cruelest of games that our children are playing and there aren't really any winners, as Celebgran says every one loses and
unfortunately some lose more than others.

Those tests sound awful Celebgran. Thank goodness they're over and now you just have to wait for the results. Everything crossed that you'll have passed with flying colours. You might even get an 'A' grade . Well done to you for taking on some studies with everything else you had going on. You too Ashmore, what a great achievement for you both.

Hope the funeral went OK Celebgran. You and your oh are going through so much at the moment you're bound to rub each other up the wrong way. I know we do sometimes.

There's here today and I hope it's shining for all of you.

Hello there Nanban just seen your post and it's always so lovely to hear from you. for you.

Agree smileless always good see nanban hope things still going well for you.

Yes is horrid what has happened to us and to be forced to choose child or grandchild no one should have to do that.

Finished too quick! Gosh feel emotional wreck I just was sooo upset at funeral. Was okay ism until saw my friends husband and daughter come I after coffin and her husband gulped a sob back and I just felt so very sad for them all and.me to lose lovley friend, have. Never been to such emotional funeral she was only 71 so guess made worse also by her daughter baby due in Couple weeks.

still feel drained and I just could not make the burial felt like should gone as was asked but just too emotional and felt like is very personal part.

Off for shower now was sad husband worked so had go alone. Sad day all round!

Did manage go for swim first though!

Me again hope packing getting organised smileless

Also hope you feeling bit.better now yogagirl.

We have. Baby Danika coming tomorrow I hope so that will cheer us up.
Also away for weekend and seeing our son so must chase black clouds away.

Morning Girls
Oh poor Celebgran funerals are never nice, but how sad your friend missed her GC being born, her D must be terribly upset.
Thank you Smileless & Celebgran for your kind words & Comments on the other link, I want to keep on one link, dont see the need for the two, they are both on the same subject, just different heading!
Hello Nanban nice to hear from you, hope all is still well for you and all of your family.

Morning yogagirl thanks yes I felt so drained all evening, think was linked to feelings about my daughter also.

Hope you feeling more positive? I am bit down mainly also feel wish my husband could been there yesterday realise In His job he can't just take day off especially when only works one day still feel hurt!

Had awful cramp in night!

Still seeing little Danika this afternoon must get on and do some ironing
Packing for weekend.

Smileless well done for going gymn forgot say that.
I put white top on under black jacket for funeral oh dear got get some weight off ! I had small bar choc after funeral with cuppa and small kit kat last night
. Difficult circumstances! Did swim 12 lengths and booked acquacise different pool tomorrow our tutor on holiday so making effort!

Have good day hope libra enjoyed trip and Dollie still knitting!

Afternoon ladies. Just sat down with a coffee after a very busy day. Went for my 3 mile walk this morning and have had a good clean through downstairs, including the windows . Wasn't going to bother a we'll soon be on our way to Oz, but thought it would be nice to come home too. Did all of upstairs yesterday . Yes that's me, a lean (thanks to the gym), mean (in the nicest possible way) cleaning machine.

Don't know why I'm worrying about the flight; feeling so knackered after all that decorating etc. that I'll probably sleep most of the way any way .

Funerals are always so upsetting Celebgran. We went to one a few weeks ago, the mother of a friend of ours, and seeing her and her children so upset was heart breaking. Don't worry about your weight until after your week end away . Just go and have a great time, you certainly deserve it what with all the worry about your health, tests and waiting for results.

Hope you had a lovely time with little Danika this afternoon. Packing already! aren't you organised . All I've managed so far is a little pile of the new things I've bought. Haven't begun to think about what hubby will need to take. No good getting him to pack for himself as he'll forget half of what he needs and just make a mess of what he does remember to take. Never known anyone take so long to fold a T shirt or jumper and make such a mess of it!!

Hope you've had a good day Yogagirl. Who better to give advice to someone considering going to court, than someone whose been through it.

So how is the knitting going Dollie?; and how was the trip Librachick? Hope you had a great time.

It's raining here now and decidedly chilly. Think we'll have a takeaway tonight as I really can't be bothered to cook . Have a good evening with what ever your all doing.

Hello Celebgran Hope you had a lovely afternoon with little Danika, I think you can eat your little choc bar and kitkat if you do 12 lengths in the pool after, well done for that

Well done on getting your house sparkling for your return from Oz Smilelessnot long now . As you say, you have been so busy decorating and cleaning, you can look forward to a lovely long relaxing flight, watch a video, read a book, wine with your meal, lovely

It's strange how comforting news from 'virtual friends' can be. It's still. New but reassuring.
If you have any energy after your marathon clean. Smileless, could you throw some my way please. Had an awful 12 hour shift, trying to muster enough energy to climb the stairs. Just hoping it won't be long before we know the bungalow is still ours, I certainly won't miss the stairs...Everyone making me feel guilty for my couch potatoes ways. Must get back to the aqualisa when We move
Hope the visit went well Celebgran, Danika ,such a pretty name.

I wonder if someone brought back some Scottish Weather....the Sun seems to have gone off in a huff!

I had a surprise call from our Employee Assistance program this afternoon and what should have been a quick update, turned into a transferred call to the legal side. Hugely disappointing, seems our solicitor cocked up but I only had 3 months to sort it out, which ended on the 22/3/14, my ignorance is no excuse. It seems my solicitor made an 'executive' decision without me/us. I would be better the advisor said, putting my efforts into my future, plan for a future where my Grandaughter may come and be prepared. To continue my fight on principles will be expensive and will like Lynda end in failure. The call lasted almost 2 hours covering everything. Fighting Social Services even when I can 'prove' what they did was Wrong is not going to happen. All it will do is provide school fees and foreign holidays for Solicitors who are likely to let me. Making waves will no doubt make any contact I am allowed in jeopardy, such is the way those we have been dealing with are. Painting all SWs with the same brush is attractive, though I realise it is the rotten apples I have to blame. They are like a cancer.
A counsellor will be phoning me tomorrow, hopefully one who will be able to help me accept what I am struggling with, knowing I am right and they are wrong. I think whoever rings me tomorrow is going to have their work cut out. If only there were groups I could meet with. It seems obvious to me Social services treat families like us with contempt. They expect us to treat them with reverence.

Dogs will have their work cut out tomorrow I think!

Off to bed shortly,dropping back to add further sons to the daft song game, almost every song pops into my head with meaning...seem to miss P for the Daft, Purple People Eater.....

Hoping for some sunshine tomorrow, news of my Bungalow and permission to feel like I do.

Also to discover Some positive news of meetings, gym sessions, has the Oz trip countdown come down to hours yet and to find out what does Dollie knit?

Night All, off to be with a Brandy I think.....

HIGNFY with a Bit of Dave Gorman to settle me off to sleep just have to make sure I don't waste my Brandy...

Is anyone else really dreading Mother's Day? I'm already getting so worked up about it already. I just know, as far as my daughter's are concerned it'll be another non-event - like my birthday and Christmas, and it hurts me so much

Boheminan a ((hug)) to you

Boheminan I am so sorry, nothing I can say will really help, i wish it could.

I can't say as far as Mother's Day is concerned except I have not yet sent my cards and from what I have read over the past days since being invited here it makes me,so sad for you all. From all my dramas I have only been separated from one member of my family, my Lil 'O
For me it is every Fathers day that is approached with dread, it being within days of my Dads birthday as well. Memories good and bad, moments of regret and moments of sheer joy. Losing someone in death has a finality about it. Every March 14, feeling like a Caesars premonition of being stabbed
to death, the probable last time I saw my Lil'O. Knowing she may be so close and living but not able to see her again, possibly ever makes me so sad. She will probably never know how much we love her after the horrendous lies she will be told
For you all who have been so understanding and welcoming of me and my my traumas.
Losing children as a result of something which you have no control over and the subsequent behaviours which make you all so sad, which then has no promises of any relationships with grandchildren in years to come if those grand children are old enough to appreciate only that Nana and Pops are no longer there as before, but powerless to much about it. My InLaws have a very precarious relationship with my children. It seems they can take or leave them. None of this was my doing, I made efforts to try and get them to engage, even the stupid 'family name' didn't count for anything.
The joy when they know a trip up to Norfolk and Suffolk is on the cards has always shown me who they feel cares.it is such a shame.
For what it is worth in this virtual land of not knowing me for real I will be wishing you all, along with my Mum and Sheila, every Mother here a very Peaceful Mother's Day. I hope that none of you are alone on this special day, that you have someone to share it with. To know that you did your best and you are not responsible for your adult childrens behaviour. I have said so many times here and elsewhere life is too short. No matter what my Mum or Sheila does I will never let a difference break what is a special bond. I lost 4 years of my Dads life, as a result of sheer pigheadedness. I was lucky to get him back in my life before it was too late.

I hope that doesn't sound shallow, from someone who has spent at least 3 hours today beating myself up today over something that was never my fault and will never be my fault. In the grand scheme of things I can't believe how lucky I am. Two Mums I still have to love and who love me. Three children who I will have to love always regardless of if they love me, until I die. Nothing they do can ever hurt me more than I have been hurt by strangers who I will despise in equal measure.

Dear Boheminan an early bouquet of for you for Mother's Day. I'm dreading it too and have done so for the last 2 years. All of us on this thread understand how hurtful and upsetting this Sunday is going to be for you and all of us.

You wont be alone this Mother's Day, not really. None of us will be bec. we have this wonderful thread and all of the lovely ladies who post here to share our laughter and our tears.

Hope you soon get some news about your bungalow Ashmore. Buying and selling property is sooo stressful; fingers crossed that all goes well for you. Couldn't agree more about the comfort we receive when we read what our 'virtual' friends have been up too . I'm taking my laptop to Oz so I can take you all with me. Yes, sorry ladies, just when you thought you were going to get a Smileless free month, foiled again .

I hope you found your call from the counsellor helpful and comforting. It's going to take time to be able to accept what has happened if indeed it's ever possible to achieve total acceptance. I think it's more about learning to live with it and picking up the pieces of our lives and moving on. Easier said than done I know, but what other choice do we have .

Thanks for that Yogagirl. I'm dreading the long flight but as you say, plenty of time to relax, watch a couple of movies, enjoy some , read a book and of course each hour that passes brings me ever closer to my darling boy and that hug that I'll have waited for more than a year to give and receive.

Have a good evening everyone.

Morning Girls
Oh Ashmore I really feel for you, you have worked so hard to get things right for your DGD and to see her, you must feel really bad about the SS and your incompetent solicitor messing everything up for you, the book I read on this subject was full of things like this and when its done wrong, it stays wrong with all the broken hearts in the family! Its very wise of you to count your blessing for the rest of your family in your life, I too really miss my mum, and dad at this most awful time in my life. Wish you luck with your move , my ND is going through the same thing (moving), she has lost half a stone and couldn't sleep, but all the paper work is finally done, so plain sailing for her now
Boheminan I'm sure all grans on here feel like you , I daydream about getting a card or email from my D&S but I really know I wont hear from them . My ND is taking me out for lunch, so thank God for her Just going to ph her now, so i'll be back ......we always speak in the mornings.
Smileless you may get from your estranged S this Mothers Day I'm just packing my case for Oz now! thanks for taking us all with you
Hope you're ok Celebgran and for all

Morning ladies....sorry ive not posted but have been poorly...ive still got a lot to read and catch up on....i hope you are all keeping well .....


"Estranged" ....A Mother's Day poem

So long ago, I carried you
Feeing your tiny body just under my heart
Smiling when I felt you turn and roll.

Heart pounding, I held you in my arms
Caressed your tiny fingers
Scared of the love I felt.

What if something happens to you?
Should I guard my heart?
Too late...heart's already gone.
I'm crazy for you.

You only wanted Mummy,
Then you only wanted Daddy.
We were your world.

Until you didn't want me
Anymore.

Today defeated and numb
I say goodbye
To what I wish were true.

I set you free
to live your life
to never come back to me.

Do I hope? Always.
Do I wish you'd change? Of course.
Is it likely? No.
Do I regret having you? Never.
Do I forgive you? You didn't ask.
Did I cause the mess in your life? No
Am I happy without you? I'm working on it.
Do I like myself? Getting there.

Do I like you? No
Do I love you?

Always.

Hello Dollie, like a bit of Louis...I must use that one when the next H song is needed. Hope you are feeling swell Dollie, Its so nice to have you back where you belong.....I really must start the hoovering now!

Thank you Dollie for the poem, I'm in tears, it sums everything I feel up. My son and I stopped speaking 13years ago on Mothers Day it really makes me feel so wretched when it comes around.

Thinking of you all today xx dont sit around brooding over what might have been get up and do something positive make the day about you.....have a wonderful day..[flower]

granscotland, oddly enough it was on Mother's Day (10 years ago) that my DD cast me off as well. After a brief reconciliation of 3 years, she drew herself off again last Spring. It's hard - so HARD, and Mother's Day compounds it even more, but life goes on, and if it makes her happy to not have me in her life, then so be it, because all I want is for her to be happy, whatever it takes. I cannot keep crying for the moon - or indeed crying at all.
and to all of you. xx