You cannot be proud to be…

Just to clarify, I chose to put this under AIBU not Pedants' Corner or any other heading because I wondered whether I was. While I am perfectly well aware that words change their meaning with time, I still think of pride in its traditional form – "high or overweening opinion of one's own qualities, attainments or estate; inordinate self-esteem". (OED) Hardly, surprisingly, no one has admitted to feeling this way or to extending such a feeling to other areas of their lives, such as their children.

In fact, it is clear that most posters regard pride, whether in themselves, their families or, in a few cases, in their countries, as a positive rather than negative emotion, encompassing respect and admiration as well as a level of self-satisfaction. It seems, therefore, what used to be called "proper pride" to distinguish it from the seven deadly sins type of pride has superseded the main definition of pride in the majority of minds so deliberately not to use it in that way is probably wilful and, indeed, unreasonable.

I am sorry that some posters dismissed my post as "bollocks" and "silly" and advised that I "should get a life" we should "shut the fuck up". I am surprised and slightly hurt that my genuine but harmless query should provoke such an aggressive response and unpleasant language.

Oh eerr absent I can't believe any of us would tell anyone to shut the f.... Up. That's horrible. I hope your not too put off posting. I think the post caused some controversy and debate. But isn't that what some post are meant to do? I sometime reply on instinct It's often a gut emotion. After following the post I can often see things from another angle. At the very least it makes me think about the issues that are raise. I enjoyed this one. Ps can I be ever so quietly proud. I'll keep it to myself honest!

I'm sorry as well absent, that your AIBU was responded to by some posters as "bollocks" etc.
I've enjoyed the thread it generated. I grew up with "pride becomes before a fall" as a childhood message, and also never to see myself as more important than anyone else. I see pride in family, as a positive but arrogance as a real negative.

It was a joke. You know, one of those light hearted things........

Oh, perhaps you don't.

Where did this "controversy and debate take place"? Were the pm' s flying?

I think you're doing really well soop, to be back on the bike at all. Build up slowly. Don't overdo it.

Kiora , you had better believe it , some posters do !!

L O L

I thought most of this thread was an interesting debate. Made me think a bit more about the different ways I express my feelings about my friends and family. Like janeainsworth says a little modesty impresses, too. The most memorable person I interviewed for a job working with women gave competent answers to everything the panel asked her, but blew us away when we asked her if there was anything else she'd like to tell us, and she said 'well, I worked voluntarily for a year helping a group of women set up a work cooperative to trade their craft goods in Malawi.' After listening to other unsuitable applicants bigging up their ability to listen or empathise, this young woman's modest description of what she did got her the job.

REALLY! How come I have never seen any rude words?

Stick around long enough and you most certainly WILL .

absent this has been one of the better threads, IMHO. I'm not going to say anything about those who tried to disrupt it because I think they're best ignored.

I do think though When someone who is a modest character can still feel pride in their family but doesn't shout it from the rooftops.

Depending on the job too, there are occasions whereby people are expected to big themselves up to impress the interviewer, ie Salesmen/women and more so in the current employment climate.

Yes, that's how I feel Agus. Bursting with pride at times, but try not to overdo it

I don't think proud is used much in that OED sense nowadays, absent. I'm not sure what such overweening opinion or inordinate self-esteem would be called – narcissism, maybe? – but I think that meaning for pride is, if not obsolete, then nearly so. Jane Austen might have agreed with that definition more than most of us. I think modern interpretations are milder, as much of this thread seems to be saying.

thatbags is the conclusion I have also reached – and what I was inquiring about in the first place.

All is well then.

I've also thoroughly enjoyed this thread. I don't think I've changed my personal view on being proud, but it has set me thinking and am going to let it all filter through for a while. Perhaps it's because I've experienced shame that I find holding pride inhibiting.

...but I certainly embrace and hold my children's goodness and their place in this world with much happiness.

Exactly When and for me these feelings are treasured in today's sense of pride as opposed to the OED sense. Not for me, for my family.

Putting the original post on a forum for grannies/nannas was rather asking for trouble.

Only from you, jingl

I'm the only one who disagreed then? I don't think so!

I think another particular poster, naming no name, could be the one who turned it personally nasty.

Yes. Stop the Jingle bashing, folks.

Again.

Thank you bags.

Just come back after a day away to find this state of affairs and I'm sure it's me that Jingl is pointing the finger at. In retrospect it was probably insensitive to pass on the opinion of my family, and if in doing so I have upset you Absent then I am sorry. However, I do think that by posting the statement without clarifying the meaning of pride to which you were referring was opening yourself up for negative comments. Peace!

God no!It's not you ceesnan! I agreed with you (and yours) Still do!

It was janeainsworth. To avoid any more dreadful confusion.

Last paragraph of postMon 24-Feb-14 23:35:47. That's when it got personal, rather than about the post.