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Wasted effort

(39 Posts)
apricot Thu 20-Mar-14 18:51:24

My granddaughter rarely visits but recently came for a meal on her way somewhere, accompanied by partner and his three children.
I enjoyed planning, shopping for and preparing a special lunch and extravagant dessert.
They sat looking at their plates and the partner said with a laugh, "We stopped off for burgers on the way." They had known I was preparing a meal and ate almost nothing so it was wasted.
Was I unreasonable to say, "Never mind, I'll just do a sandwich next time"?

ninathenana Thu 20-Mar-14 18:56:12

If they knew you were preparing lunch then I think they were down right rude!!
You are justified in being cross.

Charleygirl Thu 20-Mar-14 18:57:21

I may well have said "bring your own sandwiches next time". I would not have allowed them to get away with what I call rudeness, knowing how much time, work, effort and money you had put into it.

That would have been the last meal I ever prepared for them unless I received a grovelling apology.

Ana Thu 20-Mar-14 18:58:12

I think you were very restrained, apricot!
How inconsiderate of them.

Nonu Thu 20-Mar-14 19:14:46

sad Love your handle by the way !
A little ((HUG)) for you !

Nelliemoser Thu 20-Mar-14 19:32:53

That is very rude of them.

Marelli Thu 20-Mar-14 19:37:29

Had they known that you were going to be cooking a meal for them, apricot?

rosequartz Thu 20-Mar-14 19:39:34

I wonder if your granddaughter was embarrassed by her partner's rudeness? She may not have shown it in front of you. I would definitely not cook for them again, if they haven't eaten on another occasion, suggest they take you to the pub.

rosequartz Thu 20-Mar-14 19:41:02

And in answer to your question, no, you were TOO reasonable.

merlotgran Thu 20-Mar-14 20:16:58

I'd have made them eat it. angry

Ana Thu 20-Mar-14 20:28:38

How, merlot???confused

Deedaa Thu 20-Mar-14 20:33:50

If they were coming for a meal it was appallingly rude to eat on the way. I would definitely not bother another time, tea and biscuits at most I think!

Bellasnana Fri 21-Mar-14 02:47:40

Oh apricot that's so hurtful, not to mention tactless and ill-mannered. sad

ginny Fri 21-Mar-14 08:16:44

Very rude and thoughtless.

glammanana Fri 21-Mar-14 08:43:27

I think you where treated very badly and would have found it hard to be so restrained in what you did say,very rude indeed.

Mishap Fri 21-Mar-14 08:56:51

Maybe next time ask them to be clear about whether they wish to eat; talk about what they like, what the children like etc. Focus their minds on it so they cannot possibly forget that you will be cooking for them. Don't give up on it! I a sure it was lovely to see them anyway.

Aka Fri 21-Mar-14 09:21:04

Very rude and hurtful and a bit worrying. Did your granddaughter not feel confident enough to say to her partner to wait as you were preparing a meal? hmm

Hope that being able to tell us all about this and the support have helped ease your upset.

DebnCreme Fri 21-Mar-14 09:34:17

That was extremely rude and you were very restrained. I expect the children demanded BigM's en route.

Aka Fri 21-Mar-14 09:35:28

Demanded and got!

KatyK Fri 21-Mar-14 09:50:11

Rather rude. I posted something similar last year. My daughter and son in law came here for lunch. It was a lovely day, we went to a lot of trouble, shopping, cooking, setting up all the garden furniture etc. When they arrived, it was obvious that they couldn't get away quick enough. I subsequently found out that after they had accepted our invitation, they had had a 'better offer' from some friends. It's was very hurtful. I haven't asked them since. I think they have a pecking order and we are at the bottom (that's if we are on it at all).

MiceElf Fri 21-Mar-14 09:53:09

Good advice here, and yes, I'd have been hurt too.

But I remembered an occasion about fifteen years ago when some Sikh friends of ours invited us for 'a drink and a small bite'. The time was 9.00pm so we assumed they meant what they said and we had our dinner, albeit a small one at 7.00. When we arrived the coffe table was spread with samosas, pakoras and other delights and we really enjoyed them. At 11.30 we got up to leave and Surinder said 'Oh, but we haven't had dinner yet'. And next door in the dining room was the most amazing spread you could imagine. We did our best but failed do do justice to all the effort.

It just goes to show that everyone needs to be very clear about what an invitation means.

penguinpaperback Fri 21-Mar-14 10:15:46

I would be hurt too apricot. flowers

annodomini Fri 21-Mar-14 10:32:07

Outrageous behaviour. You should have a quiet word with your GD and suggest that an apology is in order.

merlotgran Fri 21-Mar-14 10:33:52

You haven't seen my death stare, Ana grin

Three years ago I had to eat two Christmas dinners. Thankfully they were four hours apart but it took some doing.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 21-Mar-14 10:35:47

KatyK I would have done some straight talking there. hmm