Mothering Sunday

Mother's Day is especially hard when you've lost a child for you Trendy and ((((hugs))))

I think that my children are always particularly aware of the estrangement from my eldest daughter on Mothering Sunday and so want to make up for her absence. My youngest son has sent me a card that he's designed himself in which he thanks me for my support and says lovely things about me, my older son will be having lunch with his in-laws tomorrow and will call in to see me because he well knows that I'd much prefer ten minutes of his time than a card. He probably won't buy me a card (he's anti the 'hallmark' aspect of the day), but last year his wife gave me a beautiful hand-made card that was just from her. I think he may get me a bunch of flowers or some token gift. My daughter in New Zealand may Skype - or not - depending on her shifts and my youngest daughter has just left me, having driven for two hours to hand deliver a bouquet and card and give me a chance to cuddle the grandchildren. I expect I'll also get cards/texts from people who I have 'mothered' in the past. They're all different in their approaches to the day and I appreciate each of them for doing things in their own ways.
Tomorrow my parents in law are coming to lunch and my own mother has received the card I sent and will get a phone call from me in the morning.
It's a day like any other in our family, but I do relish having a particular day when it's okay to say the things that otherwise might go unsaid. My mother in law knows how much I love her and I often tell her, but sometimes it's good to spell out the whys and wherefores.
For those who have lost or are estranged from children and feel it keenly on this day.

Thank you for the last, GA.

I do recall when I was a brand new Mum for the first time, being more than a bit miffed that there was no acknowledgement of my new status on Mother's Day. Instead I had to dress up DD1 and take her + cards and flowers to visit 'she who must be obeyed' (AKA my MIL) with a quick pop-in to my Mum's on the way home. That was the pattern for subsequent Mothers Days until my DDs were old enough to make me a card and present unaided.

I still believe that the actual hands-on 24/7 Mothers should take precedence on the day and have ensured that since they were born my DGC have always had cards and flowers for their mums (my DDs). Son-in-Law and Son-out-Law seem to think, just as DH did, that the only Mother who needs a special treat is their own one.

That won't happen when my son finds a partner. This is his first year away from us on mother's day on his own. and he has an appalling memory and rarely knows what day it is, but I told my family not to remind him. I know he loves me.

I also told my daughter to stop buying me presents and cards, it should be her day with her little children, but she too has a local MiL who expects a fuss so she doesn't like to treat us differently. As she doesn't have much money, and Other Granny has three daughters to spoil her, I feel she could let up a bit but apparently it's her Sil's who make her feel that she has to spend a fortune, and also buy presents from the GCs as well as from parents. She is only just recovering from buying all the Xmas presents for such a large family, and then she has to buy all the cousins Easter eggs. She feels it never stops.

When I was with Ex, he was such a lazy father that I used to insist on having a decent mother's day, with lunch out, presents and breakfast in bed and a couple of hours to myself. But now that I feel appreciated enough, I no longer need all that. Maybe if they never spoke to me I would feel differently.

So, parcels and cards have been dispatched to the great grans, who DO expect a bit of a fuss and phone calls, and this year I shall join them in what each of them do every year - go to a large garden centre, spend a small fortune and have lunch out. It wasn't my idea - it was DBH's! It probably started because of all the garden centre vouchers they receive.

If my own mother or MiL were to ask me to stop the whole thing, I would be delighted.

I will be missing my dear old mum tomorrow, and popping over to see my DD, who will also be visiting her partners mum that afternoon

Maybe your daughter is missing her sister and doesn't want to do things they did together? I know my friend fee her sister

yes as OP have mentioned, I do take time to think about all others who's mums are no longer with them, and know how lucky I am at 58 to still have my parents as I know one day I will be facing the same.

Mothering Sunday/Mothers' Day is such a hype now..causes too many upsets imo! I love my girls and I know they love me. I am fortunate to see them regularly..they were here last Sunday for a trad lunch and I have see them both more than once during the week. DH has major work to complete this weekend so 4 x lively DGCs not conducive to report writing.
I can see that if you don't see your children very often then it is an opportunity to make an effort..but like all those special days there is often a split of family loyalty!

I am not sure how I would feel if my DDs lived a further away ..a card and a phone call maybe? Lunches and bouquets ..I am not so sure!

Mine have sent me gifts and cards, but it hasn't been possible to be with them this time. One DS is on duty and DS2's partner is working this weekend, so all fragmented anyway.

I took my dgd shopping yesterday to buy her mum a mother's day present. She chose a pretty necklace and said to me 'its ok nan i can go to the till myself' so i had a look round while she paid. . She stayed here overnight. This morning she handed me a box which contained a beautiful necklace with a butterfly on it. Written on the box were the words 'grandma you held my tiny hand when i was little and i hold you in my heart forever'. I hace spent the whole day blubbing!

I too am on my own today but I am just glad I have two healthy sons and partners and two adorable granddaughters and although they are far away I know they care. Happy mother's day to all.

KatyK that made me blub! What a lovely thing to do.

Sorry Dragonfly didn't mean to upset you She is nearly 14. She has an awful lot going for her, she is very pretty and clever (yes I know, I would say that but she is) but her most endearing quality is her kindness. I hope she never changes.

What a lovely relationship you have with your GD, KatyK.

By chance I spent Mothering Sunday with my daughter and her family because we were celebrating the little one's second birthday with a delicious family lunch. (My, those two years have gone quickly). Mother's Day is in May here and, again by chance, that was the day we landed in New Zealand last year to begin our the new last stage of our lives. Both days seem delightfully serendipitous.

I had a chat with all 3 daughters today which was lovely. However, some flowers which arrived in the post yesterday ordered by DD in Oz, contained half dead roses which are now all completely past it. They were pink and orange and should have, according to DD, been yellow. I haven't told her what state they arrived in, but have contacted the company by email to complain. No answer as yet. It's so disappointing to know that a lot of money has been paid for these - I wonder how many other disappointed/cross Mums have received similar droopy flowers? Call me cynical, but it's just a money making operation for so many of these companies and they probably hope that the recipients will keep quiet and not complain....

It is tricky to get it right, I feel that I should ignore the commercialisation of Mothering Sunday as I do with Valentines Day, and I wouldn't dream of going out anywhere to eat on either of those days as mass catering for families is mainly disappointing and overpriced, and restaurants are full of people feeling obliged to have a wonderful 'Waltons' type family day. We have had my Mother over here to lunch, and my daughter cooked a lovely meal, that was her present to me. DH also gave me a home made card. My son, who is notorious for not doing occasions, even managed to get into Thorntons yesterday before they closed and bought me a box of my favourite chocolate gingers, they are my true favourite as nobody else likes them! BUT, and a big sobering BUT, before we all moan about Mother's day. commercialisation, being obliged to visit family etc., just think of a good friend of mine who is facing her first Mothers Day without her beloved son who died aged 19 of cancer. Sobering for us all.

I have had this problem too Gally with flowers, from my sons, bought through Interflora.Two years running I returned the flowers as they came from local shops and got replacements . I didn't say anything at the time to the sons.A few months ago, I casually mentioned to both of them that the flowers from M & S are great and good value....much better than Interflora, to which my eldest DS replied..'Ah yes, but Interflora is the only company that can deliver the next day when you've only remembered it's Mother's Day the night before!

Don't apologise Katy! Your granddaughter sounds an absolutely delightful young lady, one to be very proud of! As I'm sure you are. Sometimes children do or say the most unexpected things that tug the old heart strings. One day last week I was trying a top on. My daughter said I looked lovely in it. 5yr old GS1 whispered something to his mum that made her well-up, but then he went all shy and wouldn't repeat it. Apparently, he'd whispered to his mummy "Nanny always looks lovely in everything"! Yes, that made me blub too!

I had my mothers day treat from one daughter 2 weeks ago...she got me round to her house to have breakfast (croissant and cuppa)she kept saying "mum! is there some paper under the sette"?? [confused! I bent over and said yes and pulled out this card (my mothers day card) (early) she told me to open it..lol....it was lovely card and inside was a letter..I will cut it short..but it briefly read: Happy Mothers day..etc ....we are going on a road trip, ..where your chauffer (DD) will drive you to your destination we will be having 4 course evening dinner, bed and breakfast at the "Tyndale" hotel Llandudno..............ohh she knows I love Llandudno and the hotel, we travelled down on the Sunday morn, it was lovely, such a nice break away from home, she had organised her DH to come round and see to DH everything was all sorted, I didn't want to come home the next day!.
Today we had little buffet and other DD came..so it has been very nice

It is lovely to read all these stories of thoughtful children and grandchildren. As well as the usual gifts I had a special letter from my DD thanking me for being there for her during a very difficult time last year. It is a letter I shall treasure.

Greenfinch yes I can understand what your saying, my little trip wasn't just for mothers day but for just being there and helping out over the stressfull years that she has had, so was a "thankyou and a mothers day" wrapped up together, and my other DD daughter bought me a lovely top and gave me some pennies to spend on myself

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I just want to go to bed but thanks to the bloody clocks altering, I'm not tired enough.