throw away society

It is not just you- it really upsets me.

No it's not just you. I started a thread not long ago about my disappointment that DD had allowed DGS to spoil the train set we had carefully stored in the loft from when she and her brother were small.
To often it's a case of 'oh well we'll get a new one' SiL is majorly guilty of this. Lawnmower out in all weathers, push bike rusting in garden, yes they do have a shed. It makes DH cringe.

I am afraid you are only too right. I just wish I had kept more of the DDs "hard" toys such as lego, duplo, brio train sets , Fisher Price and the "big yellow teapot" as I could have had a stash for the DGSs when they visit. Lack of storage space meant they went to the charity shop eventually but only after many years of happy use by 3 little girls.

I hate it as well.I don't like to see anything go to waste, which is why recycling is good. You can give things away on Freecycle rather than throw them away, and give unwanted things to charity shops.I too keep books and toys for the DGC to play with [that used to belong to our DC.]
I suppose plastic garden toys are ok left out if it rains, but not other things which will spoil or rust.It's a sign of the times, all is disposable, because there is so much more money around.There must be, because the coffee shops ,all hundred of them in my nearest town [ok slight exaggeration there] seem to be bursting with people at all hours downing a coffee priced at £2.50.

And the bikes, skates, scooters etc that all get left in the garden to rust in the rain - even the newly-bought ones! I bite my tongue! But boy does it bug me!

We wiped down our bikes if we had been out in the rain and stored them in the shed.

Not just you * Silverfish* Easy come, easy go attutide really annoys me too. I have kept some of 2 DDs better toys that 2 GDs play with, favourite is a Brittain (sp) farm set which DDs bought piece by piece with pocket money.

I know a couple of DD's friends who, rather than cook actually go out for filled rolls and coffee for breakfast.

Most years I give my daughter bedding plants for her garden pots. I usually buy too many and she says 'oo yes please, I'll have them'. We go round a month later and they are still in the trays, shrivelled up and useless. I have offered to plant them but she declines and says she will do it herself. I think I'll keep them for myself in future. They had a clear out last year - bagfuls of toys and clothes in reasonable condition, some toys hardly used. SIL was working away and DD asked us if we would take it all to the tip! I said I would go through it and take some to the charity shop. She said 'no, don't. Just take it to the tip'. I'm afraid I went through it anyway. When I took the toys to the charity shop they were thrilled. It is ridiculous.

I think some kind of change occurred with some of our children.

I was raised to not only show respect for the property of others but also for my own things - I was told in no uncertain terms that if I left my bike outside and it went rusty, I wouldn't be getting another one!

I taught my children the same but they never did listen and were happy to just leave bikes, roller skates, scooters, everything just lying outside in all weathers which resulted in cross words and the items being 'confiscated' until they look after them; they didn't care. I genuinely do not understand why and they are still the same now (except it's their money they're wasting).

I'm a big fan of recycling and get pleasure from finding new uses for unwanted things. DGCs have often been given really lovely toys by other parents. We have also kept Duplo, Lego and play mobile for them. Recently I filled the bath and hand washed all the Lego, which had been stored in the loft for years. I dried each piece with the hair dryer!! X

Same here. They do recycle some things, but I was shocked when DiL said she'd thrown dolls and Lego in the bin, and my DD had left brand new trike, picnic set and dolls pram out in the pouring rain. I steel myself when their weekly online shopping arrives and I learn how much they spend on convenience foods, only to see them clear the fridge and ditch yogurts, jams, fruit and veg that are perfectly edible to make way for the next lot that isn't going to be used up! When I say anything, their reasoning is that I'm talking about small amounts of money, and they spend more than that on a night out.

My son cooks enough for ten people when there are six round the table, and if I suggest he could make meals with the leftovers he looks at me as if he's thinking about it, then says 'no, I'll bin it!'

Not just younger generation. I was involved with clearing a relatives house after they went into care. I was a niece on my uncles side but a niece from my aunt's side was also involved. All of us, then, in our late 60s. I kept putting things aside in the living room to take to a charity shop and constantly rescuing items from the bags the others were going to take to the tip.

As the senior partners, after that they didn't involve me in the house clearance anymore but when they had finished they did leave about 10 sacks in the garage that they asked if I could dump as I lived locally. I took them all home, about six were clothes and after I had sorted through 2 went to the tp, 4 to charity. I rescued my aunt' wedding dress, a home made day dress from 1947 and when I went through the bags of paper I found historic family documents relating to my side of the family.

DD has a clothes sort every few years, but apart from that she sells what she doesn't need or donates it to charity. To be fair to DS and family. They do have a problem. They were the last of their large group of friends to have children so are inundated with past-on toys. At their request we rarely if ever buy DGC toys. We buy clothes, equipment. Last year we decorated and furnished the children's bedroom as a present to them both. Having said that DS and family are generally a bit disorganised and stuff does get lost, but with so many toys, and DDiL doesn't like to upset friends by not accepting toys!

I couldn't just take good stuff to the tip. The charity shop I donate to is for a childrens hospice and they get no government funding. One of the items my DD was sending to the tip was a large door mobile type car which, when you opened it up, was fitted out as a dolls' beauty salon and there were about 10 dolls inside in good condition. As I said the charity shop were delighted they later said it sold the first day they put it in the window. Some little girl would have been thrilled to get it.

When GDS1 was born DD got a lot of clothes from her best friend. (Unfortunately the friend had girls, so not everything could be passed on) All his clothes and old toys have now been handed down to his little brother, and as he outgrows them they get passed on to GS3. Except for emergencies DD uses real nappies and toys that are broken or left out in the rain are definitely NOT automatically replaced. She's also pretty good at stretching food as far as it will go and cooks most things from scratch.

It seems to be the norm for most gardening tools to be left out in the garden at the end of the Summer so a new lawn mower is required each year. Also items left out in all weathers by my DDs have been an almost new trailer now completely destroyed by the weather, various garden tables and chairs and BBQs. And my DDs do not seem to have learnt the art of wiping down the outside of the refrigerator or washing machine and when I very gently used to say perhaps it may be a good idea as it would help to keep it in a newish condition they just used to laugh. Now I don't let it bother me but have to say my husband no longer passes things on to them as he cannot bear to see things not put away in the shed or garage. And as for getting shoes repaired ...don't get me started!

I have always hated waste, and am a keen recycler. I remember friends being horrified when, after she grew out of her first new bras after only three months, I took her to a charity shop and bought up everything pretty they had in the next few sizes up, reasoning that they had probably been tried on and found to be the wrong size. I bought ten new bras for £5 that day.

She says that she would never dare tell that story to her sisters-in-law. they revel in being able to buy everything new, because unlike her, they had a fairly hard time growing up. They were sick to death of handed down clothing and old cast-off toys. My daughter thinks nothing of buying toys from second-hand shops - and then she eBays them or takes them to a boot fair. I'm really pleased that she is so careful. She also uses freecycle. My son is starting to buy his own clothes, and to sell his old books, on eBay. I don't know why some people do, and others don't. Maybe they had peer pressure from friends as they grew up - I remember one friend being teased because her mother bought her uniform from the school second-hand shop. I bought a few pieces there too, but my children didn't have any problem with friends.

Soutra I have a loft full of Lego and my little ponies.

This seems very common, clothes, toys and food waste.
What have we done to our children to make them like this? Could it be that so many of us had a lot less money and possessions when we were growing up than our children do. I also detest waste. DD does shop in charity shops and ebay for clothes for DGS and herself she get some lovely stuff.

I think it is a question of how far from poverty you were brought up and whether you are brought up in a land of plenty.

DF was an army officer and DM had no qualms at all about buying my sisters and I clothes from the camp Thrift Shop and she sold clothes that way as well. DMiL, who lived closer to the divide between managing and poverty would never even consider putting DH in second hand clothes, because it would suggest that she could not afford to buy him new clothes.

Similarly our children have grown up in an age of affluence. Clothes, food, toys, were in abundance and cheap, everyone can afford to buy new so what do you do when you have finished with things or they break - you throw them away. In my childhood electrical appliances, white goods, furniture were built to last because they were so expensive to replace. Now they are designed down to a limited life so that after a few years white goods and electrical goods break down and are too expensive to repair or parts are no longer available, furniture is lightly built and breaks easily. Where are the antiques of tomorrow, lost on the tip.

The people who are wasters tend to be either fairly young or lower social class. Im at risk of generalising here !! .
I have a friend and I know her finances are very good due to an inheritance, she's a retired head teacher and her husband was the same. They have a sofa that has darns in it and is at least 20 years old, nothing is wasted in that house, she buys lots of reduced food at the end of the day and I have seen her at a bring and buy sale for clothes.
Another couple I know are similar , very middle class, they root around for bargain holidays, she freezes stock from a chicken, and makes that chicken last for three days meals. both these families are older but their children would never be so careful.
I have a friend who gave my mother a half of a bar of soap for her 80th birthday (how we laughed)she had told me only days earlier how much she had in just one bank account and my jaw dropped.
How can people be like this some being sooo wasteful and others so penny pinching and careful.

I can't remember having much when I was little in the late 50's and again had no money to spare when my first first 2 were born. One of my boys much used phrase was " who did this use to belong to?" They were brought up rummaging in charity shops and car boot sales.
However the eldest is a high earner in London and thinks nothing of buying his lunch every day and taking his work shirts to the dry cleaners every week!
Apparently my maternal grandmother was equally horrified when she saw my mother, newly wedded, " waste" cabbage stalks.
Even just before I retired from teaching and was earning my highest ever salary with no children to support anymore, I still regularly checked out the charity shops and have never been a spendthrift.
Each generation sees it differently though of course.

I am pleased to say DS seems to have inherited my standards. GC's toys have to be gathered up and put back in garage after playing in the garden, nothing is left out overnight. Outgrown toys are packed and given to charity with larger items given away through freecycle.

I wonder how many of us are thrifty due to hard up students life? Although we had LA grants and tuition fees paid, it was still a very small amount to live on. Also, many parents did not give any extra to their children, as they saw the grant as adequate and to be fair more than their generation had, due to the hardships of war.
Many of us also would have been brought up in the 50s when there was still a "make do and mend attitude". X

DD was a student in the mid 1990s. On a limited income she turned a shopping habit into a bargain hunting habit. DS went to visit for several days and said every mouthful of the meals she fed him were accompanied by a commentary that this pie/potatoes/veg were such a bargain I got them at X supermarket/market and I only paid xxp for it. Finally, despite being a student himself, he treated them both to fish and chips because he couldn't stand anymore having every mouthful he ate priced

Silverfish yes I think you are generalising. Younger than us yes! I am not so sure at all about "lower class" what a term to use these days!
Would you care to define what you mean by lower class? Do you mean not so well off financially?

My first hushand suffered from a long term chronic illness and although highly educated was unable to work. We were on benefits for a long time. I worked part time even though my wage was deducted from our benefits. I wanted to show my son that there was a work ethic.
Whether I had little money in the past, or I was ok, as at present, I still look in charity shops and boot sales.