I am looking for any advice or hints to cope with a situation that is on going in my family.
Daughter is married to a man who has irritated everyone he comes in contact with. He has caused my daughter's friends that she has had since Primary school to avoid her. These friends are all now in relation-ships and some have children of similar age to my DGD. This man does not work and complains about looking after the children. He does not complain about doing the housework because he does not clean up at all. The house is a mess and not even the baby's bottles get washed or even rinsed through. He spends money like water and even though my daughter works hard and earns decent money, they never pay the bills properly but there are loads of toys, more than any children could need.
He wanted to live near his family and the children are seen by his mother more than any of our family even though there is another child of the same age in our family. The mother of that child will not allow this man to be alone with her child.
This man has tried to get various elderly and/or ill members of our family to buy things like a car and even a house. I too have be subjected to his demands and his high pressure tactics. I have had over 20 calls in an afternoon with demands. There is a dispute with a solicitor over the solicitor making an offer on a house for an elderly now deceased person 2 months before death. The person holding Power of Attorney made themselves known to the solicitor but the solicitor failed to take appropriate action due to various circumstances.
My daughter and her family were homeless for months. This man thought not paying the rent going homeless would force the council to house them. She listens to him and seems to believe his every word but does not appreciate help from her family.
Recently my daughter worked some overtime. Pay day has been mid month and already there is no money left. The house is very dirty and they have only had it for a week. They had a temporary house for a few weeks and that was left filthy too. There was no electricity so that I could clean up a bit.
I do not know what to do. My daughter constantly makes excuses for him. She is very against single parents and does not want to be one. She is losing her friends and family because of this man's conduct. I am really struggling to keep going and not join the people who no longer see her. She can be such a lovely girl but I think she picks bad men, The previous partner was similar in many ways but different. The previous one was in control by violence this one is manipulative.
I wish I could have time with my daughter and GC and have fun and peaceful outings. She and the children can not have a very good life in all this filth and with finances so rocky. I realise my daughter is an adult and should know better but I believe she is too tired and stressed to think straight. (Or maybe I have rose tinted specs)
Any advice, suggestions or hints would be greatly appreciated.
Sugarpufffairy Tue 19-Aug-14 21:04:11
janerowena Tue 19-Aug-14 21:28:21
Grannyknot Tue 19-Aug-14 21:35:26
Sugarpufffairy Tue 19-Aug-14 21:40:29
Nonu Tue 19-Aug-14 21:53:16
janerowena Tue 19-Aug-14 21:55:26
susieb755 Tue 19-Aug-14 22:14:20
Tresco Tue 19-Aug-14 22:23:58
Coolgran65 Tue 19-Aug-14 22:54:01
vampirequeen Wed 20-Aug-14 07:57:22
NfkDumpling Wed 20-Aug-14 08:12:55
Mishap Wed 20-Aug-14 08:17:05
Notso Wed 20-Aug-14 08:39:43
Stansgran Wed 20-Aug-14 08:51:33
Grannyknot Wed 20-Aug-14 09:07:14
shysal Wed 20-Aug-14 09:24:20
vampirequeen Wed 20-Aug-14 09:29:19
Nonnie Wed 20-Aug-14 09:41:32
Sugarpufffairy Wed 20-Aug-14 10:55:19
Stansgran Wed 20-Aug-14 13:15:12
Sugarpufffairy Wed 20-Aug-14 14:57:13
Nonnie Wed 20-Aug-14 15:50:15
Tresco Wed 20-Aug-14 16:04:31
glammanana Wed 20-Aug-14 16:18:03
NfkDumpling Wed 20-Aug-14 18:52:44