Wrong and utterly stupid pronunciations...

My late and lovely neighbour once said that she was going "to sew some mofits" onto her daughter's top. I later realised that she had meant "motifs".
Another of her malapropisms was "sterstificate" for certificate. She was lovely and we miss her.

I used to be a telephone operator, and for a bit of fun we regularly answered signals on the switchboard with "Rubber knees!", instead of "number please", but if anyone ever noticed they didn`t say!

My best friends father used to refer to Rimsky-Korsakov

as "Rip his Corsets off". Even as a child I hated it.

Overheard DH describing to someone a 'murial' he had seen.

We still talk about aminals and efelants and DH will be 40 this year!

i read a whole book in my teens, it might have been a Jackie Collins. they were always talking about something I had never heard of - miniseries. to my mind miseries with an n in it. It was much later that the penny dropped it was mini-series

We use lots of these too! My brother-in-law once announced that he had been asked to sign a 'happy david'. Every time we see the word affidavit now it makes us smile.

@Hackie - in my famly it was Wrenchhiscorsetsoff...

Of course, he composed "The Bum of the Flightlebee"...

Can't remember if anyone mentioned anyone who suffers from thei 'prostrate' yet;)

And of course le 'ménage' (household) used for 'manège' (equestrian centre).

I have been making 'chuckney' today (still call it that, as that is what one of the DC called it when she was little).

And DH does love chish and fips!

My DGS had several words of his own which we still use.....pootawer for computer being one but my SIL has been known to ask for mang (as in rang) -y toots and once called a cravat a carafe! I also had a neighbour many years ago who used to talk about Domestless

I love the things the children said when they were young. We still occasionally refer to wedoons - my small sons version of windows; it sounded so Elizabethan. He also called a neighbour Calorine for quite a while so, of course, poor Caroline was Calorine for years.

Not a mispronunciation but the childish question "why do we call it out-skirts and not out-trousers meant that we still go to the out-trousers of a local town occasionally.

My dgs insisted on calling daffodils daffo bells.

Friend of SIL told her she liked a bit of culture and was going to see The Mickadoo ( Mikado )
Eldest GD used to watch for the moon rising and shout for her Dad to get the skeletope to look at it.

Not sure if we have had this one, it really gets my goat.

Shuge instead of huge, Why on earth Shuge or Shooge, Agggghhhhh!!!!!

My best friend of nearly 60 years calls daffodils faddofils, Suffolk Fussock. My ex husband pronounces Aldeburgh - Al-de-burg.

I have mistakenly asked for a cup of Tai chi instead of Chai Tea

Hyperdeemic nerdle - can't stop giggling!

When my sister was little for some reason a "wood louse" became a "warthog". My DGS had trouble with "front room" and called it the "up flume" which it has remained ever since - we do get some strange looks sometimes!

Yesterday's contribution from my two-year-old grandson when we were discussing insects was hopgrassers. It's already passing into family legend.

puzgetti carbanana

Not exactly a mispronunciation but I do remember telling a very young and rather naughty absentdaughter that she was behaving like a barbarian. She thought I had compared her to a librarian and was very confused - and quiet - for some time.

My dd once said to DGS 'you're such a comedian.' His reply?
"Don't be stupid mummy, if I was a comedian my tongue would stretch to the other side of the room!"

Just read a post on facebook from a friend of mine about her DD, she referred to her continual chatter as "purple diarrhoea". I', assuming she meant verbal diarrhoea.
When my DD was little she used to like pillarcatters.

My mum went to see 'Lezz Miserabulls' with the WI.

When my husband was travelling abroad once, I asked him to pick up a bottle of Paloma Picasso for me from the duty free shop. He rang, whilst there, saying he'd looked on all the counters but couldn't see anything by Pamela Picasso - doesn't have quite the same ring somehow does it

I was at a Macmillan coffee morning this morning when it started to rain really heavily.3-year old George announced "Oh no! We'll need our underellas". I think that's a better name for them!

DD always called butterfiles, flutterbies and again I prefer that as a very descriptive name!