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How the rich get richer

(30 Posts)
NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 07:14:16

I have just reluctantly spent a weekend with my DH's family.

Their life revolves round money and how to save it. I don't want to know how much they saved on every part of their self built new riverside house which admittedly is beautiful. Or hear about how they are always upgraded on any holiday for no extra money, or how they got the best waiter or the top hospital consultant.

When we were choosing to go out for the day their was consternation at the price of the entry fee, they were worried they would have to pay for us. I said 'Don't worry we will pay for ourselves' this calmed things down.

When my BinL and I shared the newspaper I gave him the first few pages he immediately started reading from the back of the paper. I assumed he was reading the Sport, silly me it was the stocks and shares.

I did have one very tiny victory which must be irking them now. Their fabulous riverside house with a landscaped garden down to the river is worth about the same as our end of terrace modest home in the Thames Valley.grin

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 07:22:32

Were you in my neck of the woods NanKate?

There are lots of people like that about - I always assume they are very insecure about something else and that behaviour gives them some control.

JessM Mon 08-Sep-14 07:57:10

Gets very boring doesn't it when the main interest and main topic of conversation is money, possessions and getting more of both. Yawn. Probably true though that the rich get richer by focussing on money and thinking about how to make it and save it. The spending bit is more of a nouveau riche thing in my observation. Also having too much sometimes leads to major problems because you have to worry about where to invest it, or looking after the assets you own.

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 08:06:08

So, we are better off being worse off, Jess! grin

NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 08:22:51

Yes Kitty I was in your neck of the woods, having said that we were in some very nice countryside and our trip up to Chatsworth was fab.

I was asked by my BinL what our diesel consumption was, didn't have a clue. Also did we have 6 gears on our car like his. I'm glad he didn't ask me how much a loaf of bread or pint of milk costs down our way because I just chuck things in the trolley and don't check.

It's nice being back in our modest, if dust laden, home. Wouldn't swap with them for the world.

Finally you may be able to answer this question Kitty they said it was hard to find any National Trust type property to visit as it was now September and a Friday. hmm I think I have got used to the 24/7 life down here in the south. Hence we went to Chatsworth.

suebailey1 Mon 08-Sep-14 08:30:55

I have a golf buddy who has a lot of money mostly inheritance on both sides of the family. She spends it like water. e.g. her diamond bracelet broke so instead of paying a £1400 repair bill she bought a new one at £14K and put the broken one in a drawer. This is not the problem though. She has a horrible habit of denigrating anything anyone else has done or will be doing e.g. f you say you are going somewhere on holiday she will say been there we didn't like it - with a sniff; or a restaurant that you really like - never had a decent meal there. She is forever telling how much she spent in Jaeger or a designer shop in Oakham. I never know how to reply without looking envious which I'm not really well only of her dog and her aga both of which I wold love but wont get. When we are on our own she is much better but when there is an audience its so obnoxious - how would you reply to this?

annodomini Mon 08-Sep-14 09:03:28

I do hope your handicap is better than hers, sueb. grin

Nelliemoser Mon 08-Sep-14 09:09:06

I would find it wearing. It's not people being much better off than me I object to. it's the whether or not they flaunt it in a self congratulatory way.

A relative of OHs from a very working class background built up a niche market engineering business and became very wealthy.
However they had always seen their good fortune as just being in the right place at the right time and were never complacent about it.
They remembered their roots.

NfkDumpling Mon 08-Sep-14 09:14:20

There's a lot of people like your in-laws Nankate. Lucky them that it's sort of their hobby and not a necessity.

Are they members of the National Trust? If so do they know that they can get a reduction once over 65? Or that it's cheaper to join the Scottish National Trust?! (Most NT properties are open only six days a week - different days, so there's always a property open in the area - and they're all still open in September)

JessM Mon 08-Sep-14 09:33:36

kitty as long as you do not have money worries, I think contentment comes from within. People who are very driven to become rich can be driven because they feel they will be happy one day if they have more money (or a nicer car etc). But a new possession only makes someone happy for a short time before they feel unhappy and want something else, or more of something to cheer them up. Does Rupert Murdoch look like a happy bunny? Or Silvio Berlusconi?
(Maybe Branson looks like he has fun, but who knows?)

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 10:39:51

I agree jess smile

Grannybug Mon 08-Sep-14 10:40:07

It's lovely to see people succeed in their lives however they determine success but happiness seems elusive in our consumer driven society. My partner and I try to take our pleasures in simple things,but we are grateful to have enough to run our home, eat and enjoy the occasional holiday. We count our blessings and our family life is one of them.

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 10:44:49

There is quite a lot of NT stuff round here NanKate and Chatsworth is sooooo expensive! Have you been to Calke Abbey, Kedleston, Sudbury, The Workhouse? There is a new Arts and Crafts house opening soon (or might just have) called Stoneywell. You have to prebook but it's lovely!

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 11:05:38

Kedleston is closed on a Friday, but Hardwick is open all year round on a Friday. Hardwick has two halls, one NT and one EH.
Sudbury is really interesting, too, and open on a Friday. It sounds like your relatives could do with a visit to the Museum of Childhood, NanKate.
I do not think the Workhouse would change attitudes there, kitty.

annodomini Mon 08-Sep-14 11:23:03

The NT web site will tell you which properties are open on which days. I think many of them stay open nowadays until after the autumn half term when they are likely to do good business. I agree about Sudbury - the museum of childhood is interesting and the house itself has some lovely features.

NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 11:42:28

Thanks for all the suggestions of interesting places to visit, I shall note those down for the future especially the Museum of Childhood.

We too count our blessings especially our DS and GSs which my DH's family don't have.

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 12:03:33

DH 's brother and Sil insist on going to NT places when we meet up as she is a volunteer ans we get a reduction on our lunch!

Do try Stoneywell, it will be fabulous and is quite near being close to Beacon Hill and Bradgate at Ulverscroft. It was built by Gimson and had remained in the family until NT bought it.

NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 12:20:23

I think, very unkind of me I know, Kitty that my DH's Bro and SinL didn't want to go to a NT house because they don't have an annual ticket like us and it would have been difficult for them to see us going in free and them shelling out.

They told me there were very few NT properties in Leicestershire, which I found hard to believe, but decided to say nothing as I was on a promise to behave myself. grin

kittylester Mon 08-Sep-14 13:01:52

Actually, there aren't that many in Leicestershire but loads round about.

Leicester Museum is good - they have Richard Attenborough's collection of Picasso Porcelain/china (??) There is the new Richard 111 exhibition, Foxton Locks are well worth a visit.

I presume you have walked round Oakham, Uppingham and Market Harborough?

NfkDumpling Mon 08-Sep-14 13:06:05

Now if they volunteered for the NT they'd get in free!

NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 15:46:54

Kitty I must admit I have never been to any of those places. I have heard of Uppingham, is that where the Boys' School is ?

You've got a good point Nfk but I don't see volunteering as one of the things they would consider doing, but I may be doing them a disservice in saying that.

To be honest I have never forgiven my DH's family for saying that they thought our DS 'was a bit suspect' and 'why doesn't he get a proper job'. They never said quite what they meant by 'suspect' but it sounded awful to me.

He has had the last laugh on them though as he is now a successful children's author, but I suspect they haven't told anyone.

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 16:53:18

I agree with kitty. Being a member of NT does not stop you going over the border into other counties.
There are many more properties in the East Midlands than in the North East. However, research shows that many people are willing to drive for three hours for a daytrip. That brings in a lot more.
I used to live in Peterborough, and we often went to the Norfolk coast, as well as Stamford, Oakham and Uppingham.
The Shugborough estate is only an hour from Leicester, and it's massive.
That's worth NT membership alone.

Nelliemoser Mon 08-Sep-14 17:07:27

Nankate Perhaps it was your in laws thought that your son could never make a living doing "arty farty" things like being an author as it wasn't a proper job. Good for him.

durhamjen Mon 08-Sep-14 17:13:36

Actually, NanKate, this is what I thought your thread might be about.

Perhaps your inlaws are just being up-to-date!

NanKate Mon 08-Sep-14 20:10:56

Thanks nellie I think you have got it spot on. DS was a musician before he started writing so that really kicked things off. hmm

Thanks for the article DurhamJen will see what the Guardian has to say about inequality.