Christmas presents

we do a secret santa for adults and then I wrap up things for G/c after asking parents what they want.

The secret Santa is a truly marvellous idea

a] saves having to trek round shops
b]saves on cost and people don"t get inundated with STUFF.

Nice to receive a little something, but really for us as a family, Christmas is being together, having nice food and generally having a jolly good old time !

Hear hear!

Gillybob

I like giving 'em nice things - adults and kids. It's Xmas.

I bought DD a "blanket scarf" today. Not sure whether she'll put it round her neck/shoulders, or lie under it on the sofa.

I like giving them nice things too jingl

After all (in the voice of Noddy Holder) IT'S CHRISTMAS

Going to Newcastle shopping with DH straight from work tomorrow. That should be a barrel of laughs He will be useful for carrying the bags but not much else. Like most men he doesn't "do" browsing. I will take the opportunity to point out the bottle of Daisy Dream perfume that I had better hope to find in my stocking.

As someone who always goes over the top at Christmas because it gives me pleasure to choose the things it may sound strange when I tell you that my adult children never say anything about things we bought them. Their memories are all about what we did together.

We spend rather a lot on our DD and DGD. We don't get into debt for it though as we put so much a month away each year to cover Christmas.

I buy everyone what I think they would like; I don't spend exactly the same on each of them, life is too short to count. I don't think they sit there on Christmas day looking at each other's presents and counting the £'s. They are all usually more than happy with what they receive, and if they are not, then they don't say - I have obviously brought them up 'proper' . It's about the giving and the thought which is put into each present, not the receiving..........

gillybob - my sentiments, entirely!

Presents are bought for the DGCs, but for the DCs it's a small financial contribution and I make up a hamper of all sorts of bits and pieces, so that they have something to open on The Day. DCs have always said that they loved their stockings best when they were little, so this is the 'adult' version of that ( I don't mean adult as in X certificate ) - just everyday things, plus little treats that they can't afford to buy themselves.

Is it only me who feels a bit uncomfortable with such phrases as "we like to spoil our GC's"?

No, it's not just you, phoenix...

I don't think you spoil children by buying them nice things. You spoil them by too laid-back parenting.

Actually, I think it's quite hard to spoil naturally nice kids. Especially when they've got naturally nice mums and dads.

Yeah alright! [finger down throat emoticon]

I suppose the phrase must mean just buying them nice things to some, then. After all, no grandparent would want to deliberately turn their GC into spoilt brats, would they?

I have a fridge magnet, bought by my DD, which says 'welcome to grandma's kitchen - children spoiled here'. I try not to though - well not TOO much.

My grandchildren (adult now) and my great-grandson (4), have never been 'spoiled' by anyone, though. When they were younger, their parents were hard-up (like we were when they were growing up). Now that things are a bit easier, we do what we can for them. It's appreciated so much and it means a lot to us, too. I don't see that as spoiling.

Well my DGD is a lovely, kind caring 14 year old (yes I know I would say that) but she is. She is thoughtful and sweet, despite a bit of spoiling from both sets of grandparents.

To me. "spoiling" means over-doing giving them nice things, it means showering them with so much that nothing comes as a welcome surprise. It also includes giving in if they throw a tantrum to get their own way when everyone else is inconvenienced, financially and socially, and not teaching them that other people have lives, and to say please and thank you, not demand and grab.

"Spoil" has the general meaning of turning something from good to - well, spoilt - and a spoilt child is one who could have been a good one.

That is not to say that they should never get presents, never be a bit indulged, always be told that they are in the wrong!

Yes, that's the meaning it has for me too, Elegran, but I can see that to some it means being extra-generous just for that one day (i.e. Christmas).

Penelope Leach said something along the lines of - if you want to give a child something (or do something she asks you to) and it is a pleasure to do so, then you are not spoiling the child, but if you feel pressured by demanding behaviour or tantrums, then there is a risk of producing a spoilt child if you give in. Which agrees with what you said, Elegran. It means that giving your DGC something which you think they would like, and which you are comfortable with (whether in terms of price or anything else), can be simply a pleasure for both sides.

I never have the slightest idea of how much I have spent on individual Christmas presents but am certain that it varies from year to year and child to child. I do make sure that everyone has the same number of parcels to open and hope that what they find inside seems special and delightful.