Christmas presents

Well, I'm afraid my younger knows that his every wish will be granted once he puts it to Granny.

Funnily enough the older one is completely non-materialistic.

I think your husband needs to talk to his daughter.

My DH has been very ill for the last few months and unable to work. After 12th December he will get no pay at all. I explained to DDs who both understood. I've bought presents for DGC but DDs and SILs will have to wait until our finances are sorted out.

I was talking about the grandsons there. Sorry missed that bit out. Don't spoil the daughters!

Like most of us, my DGC. Have far too many toys and 'stuff'
It was my DGD birthday a few days ago. I suppose I spent about £50 on several presents. She quickly ripped all the paper off them and asked me if there were any more!!!
I have told my DD that they will be getting one pressy each for Xmas.

As you get older, and options for earnings get fewer, you have to work to a tight budget. I have 5 children, 3 sons in law, 12 grandchildren and a great grandchild due in January, add to that 3 sisters to buy for. I don't get into debt because I have a strict budget for all. All my children, and older grandchildren, are aware that with inflation this won't increase and if my circumstances change will decrease. It's a simple matter of communication, I talk to them so they are never disappointed. However, no matter how poor I got, they would always get a little something, even if it was just a chocolate bar wrapped up with a pretty bow. One lesson I learned, as a working man, was always make your children aware of why they couldn't go to Disney World six times a year.

When my children were still at school we had a friend who was a single mother of five. She used to buy expensive toys for her youngest, who always used to find them before Christmas, so mother would go and buy something else equally expensive. One year she bought three lots of presents because the child kept finding them. To finance this way of life she used to buy household appliances on HP and then stop making the payments. She reckoned that as she had a child under 5 she wouldn't be sent to prison! She seemed to get away with it but it was a bit galling for the rest of us who paid our bills and often resorted to jumble sales for Christmas presents.

I've put a stop on actual toys as, like so many say, my DGS's are snowed under with them all, all over the living room I couldn't walk around last time I was there. So this year I have paid through the PDSA for a subscription to the childrens' club and my DGS's will receive care packs, magazines, colouring, information etc every month for the year ahead on various animals so teaching them and giving them something to look forward to receiving and also helps the charity who put my little doggie back together when she broke her leg five years ago. Win win I say.

The eldest is only three and already has a tablet because he wanted to use the laptop all the time. I'm not into giving into children that young, something I learned when my baby sister was born when I was 15. She had things early and then we had no options as she grew up because she had already had it all.

Plus just keeping on giving them presents all the time does no good in my opinion. How are they supposed to learn to value anything if they are surrounded in things? I'd rather teach them about nature, animals, the solar system etc, anything but keep buying into this culture we have now of computers and tablets for kids. Before that my DD used to plonk them both in front of CBBC for all day. And she is a youth worker.

Bloody disgraceful attitude, if you ask me.

I'd like to think, that if I said to either of my sons that money was tight, and that I could only afford small gifts for the children this year, they'd say, "That's ok, Mum"

CREDIT CARD? Are you mad?

Centre yourselves darling. Be who YOU are, and stop allowing this bullying.

When my Granny was elderly and did not have a lot of spare cash, I always looked forward to her Christmas present. A diary, bought in aid of a charity. Useful and helped some people, given with love. Win, win all round. X

I do not remember presents from my grandparents apart from a thin gold bracelet which had belonged to one gran and a cup saucer and plate with daffodils on it from the other. This must have been when I was into double figures . My aunt, a difficult woman ,immediately took the bracelet and said it was too nice for me and I never saw it again.

Nasty woman Stansgran. I hope she felt ashamed. X

Only give what you can afford and never ever get into debt to buy presents.

If your adult children have a problem with this hard cheese.

Always wondered why MIL gave me a flannel and cheap bar of soap every Christmas.......I know she didn't like me ( because I married her son and his brother married my sister!), but seemed rather odd to me, am sure I didn't need a good wash!
She also 'recycled' presents so wasn't unusual for recipients to get back what they'd bought her!

I don't know what I have to do to persuade my children that when we say we don't want them to spend any money on presents for us, we mean it. Ideally I would like to arrive at a situation where we only buy presents for our young grandson and give a decent amount of readies to our two teenage step grandsons who are both impecunious students! The problem is, DH loves Christmas and gets a big kick out of spoiling everybody, and so the children feel they have to do the same, even when asked not to. I'm sure they all have better things to spend their money on. This whole orgy of spending is one of the things about Christmas that I find quite depressing.